One of Nature's Masterpieces
by zeppx
Summary: So this a collection of all the one-shots set in my 'verse. It's AU after the happenings of season 5. It's extraordinarily fluffy at some points. Chapter 21: another family expansion, basically? Fluff.
1. Givin' Out Wings

So, I've decided to throw all of the parts of my 'verse into one big multi-chaptered thing. It's easier to keep track of, easier to update and just neater all around.

All of the old parts will remain posted on my profile thing, since I'm selfish and like having the reviews and favorites and what not there. But all new parts will be posted as part of this "story" thing.

So yeah, here's that first part! Their first Christmas.

Oh. The title for this collection is from George Santayana's, _The Life of Reason_ "The family is one of nature's masterpieces ."

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><p>There were times when Dean hated waking up early, the sun would be too bright and shining in through the window because he had forgotten to close the curtains before he crawled into bed. Then there were the times he didn't mind waking up early, on days like today when the sun was hiding behind a thick layer of clouds, the temperature was cold enough for snow and there was a warm body tucked up against his.<p>

He smiled down at Cas, who had become part octopus in the middle of the night and had attached himself to Dean, arm over his waist and legs tangled up with Deans. Dean didn't mind for once, Cas was like a furnace, putting out so much heat Dean wouldn't need the extra blanket on the extra cold nights. Cas made a snuffling sound in his sleep, pressed his face against Dean's neck and tried to press even closer.

Dean found himself smiling again and rolled over onto his side, causing a groan to come from Cas as he was moved more than he found acceptable.

"Sorry, you can go back to sleep." Cas merely grunted, shifted into a more comfortable position against Dean's chest while Dean wrapped his arms around the sleeping man and tugged him closer.

"Why are you up so early?" Cas mumbled a few minutes later.

"Not sure. How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm dying."

"You're not dying. It's just a case of strep throat that you've got."

"And a cold."

"Okay, so maybe that makes it worse, but you're not dying." Cas grunted again and let out a hacking cough, followed by a miserable groan. Dean chuckled and pressed his lips against Cas' forehead, "It'll be over in a few days."

"You said that a few days ago."

"I was guessing. Want some tea?" Cas nodded and Dean worked out how he was going to get out of bed and into some warmer clothes before he froze. Cas removed himself from Dean's grasp, sat up, rubbed his eyes and blinked around the room.

"Why is it so cold in here?" Dean winced at the sound of Cas' voice, usually gravel rough already but with the strep throat causing his throat to swell it came out more as a hoarse whisper.

"Think the pilot light went out again." Cas sighed, eyed the wooden floor, the dresser which was a few steps away and the floor again. Dean smiled at him and said, "I'll be a really good boyfriend and get you some socks and warmer clothes and do the suffering."

"You don't have-"

"You're sick; you don't need to be dealing with cold floors and shit while you're sick."

"I'm sick, not dying."

"Says the one who said he was dying a few minutes ago."

"I said I _felt_ like I was dying, not that I was." Dean rolled his eyes, muttered a, "Smart ass," under his breath, threw off the blankets, and made for the dresser as quick as he could. Cas watched him and said, "The red socks please, and Sam's old hoodie."

"Not the red socks."

"Please." Dean sighed and hunted through the drawer for the fuzzy, red socks Sam had gotten Cas a few months ago, stating they would keep his feet warm during the winter months.

"I hate these things."

"They're warm, and soft. I enjoy wearing them."

"You just like being able to slide around on the wood floors instead of walking." Cas shot him a grin and nodded, took the socks from Dean and pulled them on, followed by the sweatshirt Sam had left behind, it was about five sizes too big for Cas, but when Cas was feeling lazy or under the weather he liked to sit himself on the couch and burrow into the sweatshirt and read.

When they were both dressed warm enough for the cold house they left the bedroom and headed for the kitchen, "What time is Bobby expecting us?" Cas asked when Dean returned from relighting the pilot light under the furnace.

"He said we're allowed to be a bit late since you're feeling like shit." Cas sighed and said, "I hate that I got sick now, this is our first Christmas after the apocalypse and I feel like I'm ruining it for everyone." Dean rolled his eyes, put on the water to boil for Cas' tea, and turned on the coffee maker for himself.

"Please. You can't help when you get sick dude, shit happens. Also, it's your first Christmas as a human, not just our first one after the apocalypse that never was. Even if you're sick we're going to enjoy it." Cas hesitated then nodded and sat himself down at the breakfast bar and watched as Dean put together their morning drinks.

Dean still couldn't believe it was all over, the apocalypse didn't happen, Sam didn't die, Dean didn't have to become some meat suit for an archangel and Cas had been given a choice. Return to Heaven or stay on Earth and finish becoming human and live out his days with Sam and Dean. For some reason Cas had decided to stay, the three of them had carried on hunting before deciding to finally settle down a little.

They'd found an old abandoned house a few miles from Bobby's, close enough to visit often and far enough to give the old man his space when he needed it. They'd fixed it up and moved in a few months after the big fight. They still hunted sometimes, but they never went too far and they had a home to come back to now. Dean also had Cas, he didn't know how it had happened but a few months after Cas had lost the last of his Grace they'd come together and hadn't been apart since.

Dean didn't mind in the slightest, for whatever reason Cas loved him. Cas knew everything there was to know about Dean, the good and the bad, he knew what Hell had been like, he understood Dean's insecurities and fears and didn't take any shit from him. Dean didn't know why or how, but Cas loved him and he loved Cas. They were happy here in their home together, they were happy when they went out on hunts together and whatever else. Dean was just happy to finally say he was _happy_ and not be scared shitless by that fact.

Sam had stayed with them for a while, then when they'd been working a case, a simple salt and burn they'd run into Sarah Blake again. She and Sam had hit it off, Sarah had moved here, they'd dated then Sam had moved out and into his own with Sarah. Dean knew Sam would be proposing Christmas morning when they were opening their presents, Cas had helped Sam pick out the ring.

They were all _happy_. So unnaturally happy that Dean's head still spun on occasion. Hell, they were practically normal. Dean had a job at the local garage in town when he wasn't helping Bobby, Sam ran a bookstore in town and after forging a college degree and several certificates Cas had landed a job as a translator for whoever needed him. It was a good job for him since he knew every language known to man and a few beyond that.

"Dean?" Dean jolted out of his thoughts, realizing Cas had been calling his name for a few minutes now.

"What? Sorry Cas, was...thinking." Cas gave him a small smile, made his cup of tea up, plain with a dollop of honey added into it, and asked, "About what?"

"Just, still think its weird how we're all so happy."

"It's good that we're happy though isn't it?"

"Of course it is, I just never thought I'd have it. I always knew Sam would find a way, but not me."

"Well, as I told you several years ago Dean, good things do happen." Dean poured his coffee and sat down next to Cas who was happily sipping at his tea, already moved on from the conversation. Dean took that to mean they'd had it enough times now, Cas assuring Dean that his happiness was well deserved and that it would last. There was nothing to fear anymore.

"So, Christmas. Are you excited?"

"What is there to be excited about?"

"Presents of course." Cas hummed, smiled at Dean and said, "I suppose. We'll find out when the time comes."

"We'll leave for Bobby's in a few hours. He wants to eat in the afternoon, and he ordered us all to stay there for the night so we can open presents soon as everyone's awake. How's your throat feeling?"

"Better, the tea helped. Not sure I'll be able to eat anything though."

"Don't worry, Bobby will take care of you. I think he said something about making soup for you." Cas let out a sigh and muttered, "He didn't have to do that, he's already doing enough by having us there for Christmas." Dean only grinned at Cas and shrugged. Somewhere along the line Cas had joined Sam and Dean in Bobby's surrogate son pile. He mothered over the former angel as much as he was allowed to and the two were often found locked in Bobby's library geeking out over the old books, languages, and spells.

"It's like a match made in Heaven." Was what Dean had said when he'd found Bobby, Sam and Cas buried behind piles of books. It was worth it seeing a smile on Cas' face though, he smiled more often now that he was human but it still wasn't often enough in Dean's book.

They spent the rest of the morning lounging in the living room, Cas doing some work and Dean watching whatever he could find on the TV. The nice thing about Cas' job was that he was allowed to do it from home, and he made his own hours as long as he made the deadlines. Dean liked coming home to Cas making dinner or waiting with take out all set out and ready to eat, this was something he had no troubles adjusting to.

"Alright lazy, let's head to Bobby's, I'm ready for some food." Cas roused himself from his doze enough to put on some proper pants, jacket and the scarf Sarah had knit for him a few months ago.

"You have enough of your medicine to last you through the night?" Cas checked his pockets, nodded, yawned and grumbled, "Let's go, I want a nap, this medication makes me sleepy."

"Yeah I know and you're a grouch when you're sleepy." Cas 'hmmphed' and disappeared out the front door and to the Impala where he impatiently waited for Dean to get a move on.

When they reached Bobby's and let themselves into the warmth of the house Dean heard Sarah and Bobby cooking in the kitchen and Sam watching TV in the living room. Dean pushed an increasingly drowsy Cas into the living room and aimed him for the couch saying, "Move over Sasquatch, sick person needs the couch." Sam smiled up at them, stood and moved over to one of the chairs while Cas face planted onto the couch with a happy grunt.

"How's he doing?" Sam asked, watching with a smug grin on his face as Dean knelt down and pulled off Cas' boots.

"Okay, went to the doctors yesterday and got himself a prescription for some antibiotics. I picked him up some cold medicine and some throat junk for him too, makes him sleepy...obviously."

"Well, at least it's nothing horrible for his first time being sick outside of a cold." Dean nodded, he'd been happy about that, no pneumonia or anything that was life threatening, he didn't think he could handle something threatening his happiness right now.

"And what are you looking so smug about anyway?"

"Just you...never thought I'd see you settled down, and here you are, living with someone. A man no less."

"Bite me, bitch."

"Whatever, jerk."

"Would you idjits shut up already and get in here to say hello?" Dean and Sam exchanged smiles and Dean went and greeted Bobby in the kitchen, explaining Cas was passed out on the couch and wouldn't be coming in to say hello any time soon.

"I made him some homemade chicken noodle soup last night so he can eat that while we have our ham." Sarah said after giving Dean a hug.

"Cas thinks you guys shouldn't have done that, he feels bad enough for being sick on Christmas."

"Well it's not the idjits fault, we'll finish decorating the tree in a few hours, the ham is almost done and we have plenty of eggnog."

"Perfect."

True to word about an hour later, Dean was waking Cas up and they were gathering around a sizable Christmas tree that had been shoved into the corner.

Sam approached Dean while Cas, Sarah and Bobby put on the ornaments and whispered, "Dean, look what Sarah made the other night for the top of the tree." He opened his hands and nestled there in his palms was a miniature angel that very closely resembled how Cas used to dress. Tan trench coat, blue tie and messy dark hair, added on was a halo and fluffy white wings.

"You know he won't be happy to see that."

"I know, he'd smite it if he could still smite things." Sam grinned at him, turned and said to the room at large, "Okay, tree topper time!" Sure enough, Cas was not pleased and spent the next fifteen minutes glaring up at his knit counterpart.

After they'd decorated the tree and had dinner they sat around and watched _It's a Wonderful Life, _Cas chuckling throughout most of it, partially due to the fact he'd mixed his medications with alcohol. Halfway through Sam and Dean went out to their respective cars and got the bags of presents out to be put under the tree.

"Are you happy Sam?"

"What?"

"Are you happy with how we're living now? Running a bookstore instead of a lawyer, only hunting a few times every couple of months, with Sarah?"

"Yeah, I am. Not quite what I expected, sure. But it's better than what I thought either of us would end up with. You happy?"

"Surprisingly yeah, I am."

"Even with Cas?" Dean couldn't help the grin that spread across his face as they entered the living room and saw Cas slouched over on the couch, head resting against Bobby's shoulder.

"Yeah, especially with Cas." At the sound of his name, Cas jerked upright with a snort and a sleepy, "Huh?"

"Bedtime sleepyhead."

"Good." Cas managed to pull himself up right, managed to say goodnight to Sarah, Bobby and Sam and disappeared up the stairs and to the room he and Dean had shared when they'd been living here before fixing up their house. Dean followed, happily watching Cas undress and collapse in the small bed, watching Dean with his eyebrows raised, silently asking if Dean was going to stand there like an idiot or join him.

"Even sick you're still a bossy bastard." Cas grunted, burrowed under the blankets with his pillow and mumbled out, "You wouldn't have me any other way." Dean smiled, slid in behind the former angel, pressed himself close to Cas' back and muttered, "You're right."

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><p>In the morning the two of them woke up to smells of bacon, coffee, and the sound of Sam thundering down the stairs, shouting for them to wake the hell up already. Cas sighed, stretched out like a cat and asked, "Is it too early to toss Sam out into the snow?"<p>

"Probably. But he'd probably roll around in it like a puppy and make snow angels and snowmen."

"I dislike him in the mornings."

"Hold your judgment until after you've had some caffeine put into your system." Cas mumbled his agreement and the two dragged themselves out of bed and down the stairs and plopped unceremoniously into their chairs around the small table in the kitchen.

"Morning!" Sam, ever the morning person grinned at them over his cup of coffee. Cas scowled at him and Dean muttered, "Tone it down Sam, not all of us are early birds."

"Should be when there are presents to open."

"I'll get there after coffee." Sarah joined them a few minutes later, handing a cup of tea over to Cas who said something that may or may not have resembled a thank you. Sarah, the smart girl that she was, didn't question and just took it for what it was meant to be.

"Since Sam is being so impatient about it all Bobby said we'd have breakfast after we opened presents." Dean couldn't really blame Sam for being excited; it was their first _real_ Christmas, with actual presents, an actual tree and family. Now that he was waking up Dean couldn't help but feel the excitement himself, there were many firsts happening today, and he couldn't help but wonder what Cas may have gotten him as a present. He could only hope Cas would enjoy what Dean had gotten him.

"Alright idjits, get yourselves settled and we'll get everything handed out." Bobby was waiting for them in the living room, watching as Cas and Dean took over the couch and Sarah situated herself on Sam's lap as he took over a chair.

Sarah had knit them all hats to go with the scarves she'd given them a few months ago, she'd given Sam a new carrying case for his laptop, she gave Dean a new flask with his initials engraved into one side and Cas received a sketchbook and a set of nice charcoal pencils since he'd started showing an interest in drawing.

Sam had given Dean a new bowie knife, one that must have cost a fair amount of money with its mahogany handle and matching case. Dean meanwhile had given his brother the digital camera he'd been mooning over for a couple months. Cas had given Sam several, very old and very rare first editions of books that had Sam nerdgasming in seconds. Sarah had gotten the same deal but with a book of paintings by some painter Dean had never heard of. Bobby had also received some old books on lore that Cas had gathered in his research when he'd still been an angel. Dean and Sam had agreed to clean out the attic and basement as Bobby's Christmas gift, which the elder hunter was more than happy with.

"Okay Cas, next gift is from me. Everyone helped me choose, but mostly it was my idea." Cas blinked at Dean and looked around, obviously seeing the lack of a gift sitting anywhere in plain sight.

"Wait here." Dean headed off outside to the back of the junkyard where Bobby had had an office of sorts, waiting there was Cas' gift, which he immediately took back to the house, hoping and praying that it wouldn't backfire.

Cas simply gaped when he saw Dean's gift.

"Um. I know we talked about it a while ago, and I know we agreed on a puppy, but she's already trained, like...really well. She was meant to be a police dog but she lost her hearing after she got some ear infections or something, but she knows her hand signals and what not. She's a little stand offish, but once she knows you she warms up, mostly. She still doesn't really like Bobby, or Sam...or hell even me-"

"Dean." Dean stopped his rambling and simply smiled hopefully at Cas, then looked down at the mostly black German Shepard standing by his side. He unhooked the leash and watched as the dog instantly went over to Cas and decided it was bath time.

"What's her name?" Cas asked around the big pink tongue currently soaking his cheek.

"Grace." Cas grinned, managed to pull the dog far enough away from his face to simply look at her and say, "How fitting."

"So you like her?" In answer Cas simply wrapped his arms around the dog's neck and hugged her close, resting his cheek on the top of her head, "She's perfect." Sam took the opportunity to snap a picture with his new camera. After a few more minutes of petting and getting know the dog Cas stood, "I have something for you as well Dean."

"Cas you didn't have to-" Cas interrupted him with a wave of his hand and said, "I didn't buy you anything technically. But, I've been meaning to give this to you for a while now and when I heard we'd be celebrating Christmas I decided to wait."

"Okay." Dean watched as Cas went over to Bobby's desk, opened a drawer and pulled out a white cloth, which was wrapped around something Dean couldn't make out. When Cas came and stood in front of him again he looked nervous, which made Dean nervous. In all the years he'd known the angel he'd never really seen him nervous, expect maybe that time at the brothel.

"I want you to have this." And with that, the cloth was thrust into his hands and Cas was retreating to the couch, instantly busying himself with petting and stroking Grace's head. Dean hesitated then slowly unraveled the cloth, and stared at what was resting in his hands, as did everyone else in the room.

"Cas-"

"Yes, it's what you think it is."

It was a feather, but unlike any feather Dean had ever seen. He instantly knew _why_ but it still blew his mind. It was black, a little longer than a foot long and a couple inches wide, if Dean thought about it in terms of bird wings it would probably have been one of the flight feathers. When he moved his hands into better light it seemed to shimmer, every color Dean could name racing along the surface, but a bright electric blue and soft silver color seemed to dominate. When he touched it, a gentle jolt shot up his fingers and his arm, then down his spine and all the way to his feet.

"Cas, I-"

"You don't need to say anything Dean." He looked up, saw that Cas had used his secret ninja powers to move back in front of Dean, he looked up at Dean, still nervous and a little hopeful. Dean was glad for that, he didn't really have any words, he didn't know what to say to a former angel who had just given him a feather from the wings he no longer possessed.

"Just," Cas hesitated, looked up Dean, his eyes wide and impossibly blue, "Just take care of it for me okay?" Dean smiled; touched the feather again was greeted with a slight tingle instead of a jolt, pressed a soft kiss to Cas' mouth and whispered, "You know I will."


	2. Could Be Our Day

Both Sam and Dean were awakened on New Year's Eve by Cas belting out the chorus to Blue Oyster Cult's _Burnin' For You_. Dean eyeballed the alarm clock and noted that it was ten-thirty, a time Cas deemed acceptable to be up by while Sam groaned from the other bed, "Well at the least the antibiotics worked."

Dean let out a sigh, rolled over and collided with Grace who had taken up post in Cas' vacant spot. The dog looked at him, as if accusing him of not being the person she wanted in the bed with her and Dean pulled the pillow over his head.

"Why the hell is he singing in the shower?"

"He _always_ sings in the shower."

"Really?"

"Yes, says it sounds better." Sam snorted from where he was slowly untangling himself from the blankets and said, "I never thought we'd see Cas like this, compared to how he used to be anyway."

"Stick up his ass got removed I guess. I'm not complaining though, mornings like this usually end up in some really hot, bendy sex."

"Oh! Oh, _God_, I _really_ didn't need to know that!" Sam made one of his bitchfaces, and hurriedly got dressed.

"You'd be amazed at how flexible Cas is, and he does this _amazing_ thing with his-"

"Stop! Please! _Christ _I could have gone my whole life without knowing that shit. I'm going to get breakfast."

"Take Grace with you, she probably needs to pee." Sam obliged and Dean grinned at his brothers retreating back, he loved being able to fuck with Sam still. It was almost like old times, in a dingy motel room, sleeping later after finishing a hunt, his brother and Cas here with him. Small differences, the dog for instance, Cas singing at the top of his lungs in the shower like he didn't have a care in the world anymore. Dean was tempted to join him in there, make him use those lungs for other things, but before he could move the water was shut off.

Dean rolled over, tossing the pillow to the other side of the room and waited. He really didn't know what got into Cas on mornings like this, it was just one of those things about Cas now, woke up in random good moods that ended up in that hot sex that Dean would never, ever get tired of. Moments later Cas came out of the bathroom, still wet and warm from his shower, humming some god-awful poppy song that Sarah had introduced him to. He looked over at Dean, around the room then asked, "Sam?"

"Went to get breakfast." The towel around those hips joined the pillow on the floor and then Cas was there over Dean, smiling and muttering, "Good."

When Sam finally made his way back to the motel room he entered with his eyes covered and Grace trailing along behind him, "Are you both decent?" Cas, for a moment looked like he wanted to rip off his clothes and say, "Yes." Just so, that he could fuck with Sam a bit.

"We're good Sam, don't worry." Dean grinned over at Cas, who went back to flipping through the book he and Sam had been searching through the night before but perked when Sam said, "Got you some blueberry pancakes Cas."

"You spoil him more than I do dude." When Cas had first become human they'd all discovered the ex-angel had a love for blueberries that rivaled Dean's love for pie. They'd been in a farmers market working a case when Cas had stopped to sample something, had promptly bought two pounds of blueberries and headed back for the Impala, leaving the brothers to do their thing. When they'd come back he'd been sitting on the hood of the Impala, eating one blueberry at a time, fingers and mouth stained that blue-purple color.

Now that Dean thought about it, the first time he'd kissed Cas his mouth had tasted like blueberries.

Cas rolled his eyes at Dean, made grabby hands for his pancakes and thanked Sam with a smile before digging in. Dean watched the happy smile on his face then said, "I'd hate to see how you react with a blueberry pie Cas, if you get that happy about pancakes."

"I believe, I would as you like to say, be downright pornographic."

"Sam, next diner we come across we're seeing if they have blueberry pie." Sam thumped his head down onto the table and moaned something about impossible brothers and their boyfriends and how unfair his life was. Dean and Cas shared a smile, having a partner in torturing his brother was such a bonus nowadays.

"So, hunt's over, it's New Year's Eve, what's the plan?" Cas hummed around his pancakes, fed a piece of bacon to Grace who was slobbering at his feet and Sam said, "Probably find a bar around, have a good time."

"Or we could head for home, so you can spend it with Sarah, if we leave now and don't stop for long we should be able to make it." Sam simply shrugged and said, "Sarah told me to have fun with you guys while we're out here, we're going to celebrate in our own way when we get back."

"I hope it involves sex."

"Unlike you Dean I can keep my sex life to myself."

"Whatever, bitch."

"Jerk."

"I think imbibing copious amounts of alcohol is a good plan." Cas muttered around a mouthful of eggs, feeding yet another piece of bacon to Grace. Sam snorted, Dean rolled his eyes and said, "Stop giving your bacon to the dog and give me some instead."

"You don't need bacon."

"No, but I _want_ it." Cas quickly ate his last piece and said, "Sorry, all out." Dean pointed his fork at Cas and growled, "I don't appreciate this sense of humor you've developed."

"You should Dean, he learned it from you."

"_No_, he's learning it from Gabriel."

"I find it interesting how you like to blame everything on Gabriel."

"He's easy to blame." They gathered up their trash when they finished eating, threw it out and headed into town to find something to do to pass the time. They walked into downtown, enjoying the warm weather of Florida before they headed back to South Dakota.

"What is she, superglued to your side?" Dean asked, looking to Grace who was as close to Cas as she could be while they were walking. Cas looked down at her, shrugged and patted her head, which was just in reach of his hand, "You should be glad we get along at all Dean, and that I enjoy her since you got her on a whim."

Dean _was_ glad; he'd just never willingly admit that.

They wandered for a few hours, stopped at a deli to get lunch and headed for the beach after eating. Dean had bought a tennis ball for Grace so she too could have something to do while they were passing the time. No fun for a dog going to the beach if they didn't get wet.

The three of them plopped down onto the sand, Dean tossing the tennis ball off towards the water for Grace who went after it, brought it back and wandered off before Dean could toss it again. They all watched as she wandered around, sniffing at random things before ending up chest deep in the ocean.

"So how do you get her to come back if she's deaf?" Sam asked finally, still watching Grace who seemed to be having a grand time dunking her head under the water and searching for something.

"I have a bright flashlight on my keychain, we flash it a few times to get her attention and give her the signal to come or heel. Works better at night, still kind of working on during the day. She always manages to come back in her own time though." Cas explained, showing said flashlight to Sam before putting it away again.

"She's a good dog."

"I'll take that as a compliment for my choice, even though she hates everyone but Cas."

"She doesn't hate you she just...prefers me." Cas said, smiling as Grace came trotting back to them, soaking wet. They all groaned as she shook water on them all, Cas stood and said, "I think she has the right idea though."

"What, preferring you?" Dean grumbled, wiping salt water from his eyes. Cas shook his head, stripped off his shirt and jeans and headed for the water, "She has the right idea, I'm going for a swim."

"Suit yourself." Dean leaned back on his elbows and stared up at the sky as Grace and Cas dove into the warm waters, Sam stretched out beside him, arms crossed under his head. Dean could get used to this, sitting on a beach with the two most important people in his life, not a care in the world.

"So, when's the wedding?" Sam hummed from beside him before responding with, "Kind of wanted it in November, on the second, so something good could happen on that day for once. But neither of us are really sure we want to wait that long."

"That's a good day."

"Yeah, but we're hitting January now, it's kind of far."

"I think you two will be too busy planning everything to worry about how far away it is, hell you'd probably need the time." Sam nodded his agreement and added, "We were thinking about California for a location, it's nice out there in November."

Dean could hardly believe he was sitting on a beach in Florida discussing _wedding plans_ with his brother when a year ago they were standing in a graveyard with Michael and Lucifer and Cas was being blown to smithereens.

"Stop it."

"Huh?"

"Stop thinking about the past Dean, it won't do you any good."

"How the hell do you know what I'm thinking about?"

"You get this sad tragic look on your face when you think about that shit."

"Screw you I do not."

"Whatever, just...look." Sam pointed out towards the water where Cas had been joined by a group of what seemed to be college students; Grace was splashing around them while they talked. Cas was laughing at something they had said to him and Dean couldn't help the small smile that spread across his lips.

"That's what you should be thinking about instead."

"Cas?"

"Yeah, how happy you two are, how everything turned out good despite everything that happened. Quit bringing yourself down, I know eventually you would have turned to how everything is your fault and blah blah blah. There's no need for that anymore Dean."

"Well, I wasn't expecting that lecture."

"Whatever, go out there and have fun with your boyfriend."

"He's not my-" Dean cut himself off at Sam's look and muttered, "Fine, alright, he's my boyfriend."

"Wasn't so hard was it."

"Weird." Sam rolled his eyes and before either of them could carry on Cas was plopping down next to them on the sand saying, "We've been invited to a party if you want to go."

"When?"

"Now."

"Where?"

"Bar in town. Was shut down for the night but the owner's son said there's a private party going on and we've been invited."

"We can go for a bit." Sam nodded his agreement and they waited for Cas to get dressed and for Grace to get her leash hooked back on.

When they reached the bar they all entered, Grace was permitted inside since she was, "Oh my God that dog is so adorable!" to most of the girls standing by the entrance.

"You know, it figures we'd get invited to a college party when Sam is married and I've finally settled into a monogamous relationship...with a dude no less."

"I'm shocked we got invited at all, we're in our thirties after all and most of these people are hardly legal to drink." Sam muttered, looking around the bar, which was slowly filling up with more and more people.

"Must be our devastatingly good looks."

"Right, crows feet and various other wrinkles mixed with graying hair is so amazingly hot."

"I don't have gray hair." Dean protested, running a hand through his hair as if he could see without a mirror.

"No, but Cas does." Cas scowled at Sam around the beer he'd been handed and said, "I don't have gray hair. I'm only...how old am I supposed to be again?" Both Sam and Dean snorted; trust the ex-angel who was millions of years old to forget how old he was supposed to be as a human.

"Thirty-six dude." Cas nodded and ran a hand through his messy hair muttering, "I don't have gray hair."

"Give it a few more years." Cas shot his scowl at Dean, returned to his drink, and looked around the bar. Dean followed suit and looked around as well, then sighed and growled, "Well now I feel old. All these dudes here are all blonde, shirtless and wearing flip flops with their Banana Republic shorts."

The three of them sat for a while, drinking whatever drink was brought to them by the girls working behind the bar for the night. But Dean could only handle so much, after the sixth college guy to call him or one of the other two 'bro' he was ready to punch someone. Thankfully Sam knew Dean and said, "Let's go find a liquor store, then hit the beach again."

"That sounds acceptable." Cas stood, wobbled a little and Dean grabbed his arm, steadying him with a laugh, "How much did you drink?"

"More than enough it seems." Cas muttered, leaning against Dean with a small sigh. Dean looked down at their table; while he and Sam had been brought mostly beers, it seemed Cas had been downing mostly shots and the occasional beer.

"Sneaky girls, they want to get in your pants." Cas smiled up at Dean, waved his farewell to the girls behind the bar who shouted something they couldn't make out and then they were out of there.

"Think that's the first party I've never really mingled before."

"Not really our crowd Dean." Dean nodded and they headed down the street to the liquor store, Cas leaning against Dean and then using Grace as his guide dog of sorts to be able to walk in a straight line.

"No angelic tolerances anymore huh Cas?"

"It would seem so." Dean and Cas waited outside while Sam went in, he came out with a bottle of Jack and the three headed for the beach again, settling down in the sand on their backs while the stars came out over their heads.

When half the bottle was gone Sam asked, his voice slightly slurred, "Hey, Cas, when you were doing your search what was your favorite place?"

"To look for Him or to think?" Cas' voice was equally slurred, if not even more since he'd had a bit of a head start.

"Where did you enjoy going period?"

"Well, I did enjoy Greece quite a bit. In New Zealand though, there are glowworm caves, I liked to go to those to think."

"Why?" Cas took the bottle from Dean, took a swig and passed it on to Sam.

"Well, they were a good hiding place from my brothers as well; angels don't like dark, damp and small places. Heaven is light and space, anything other than that, angels avoid. But it was nice to sit in the dark, listen to a stream or river trickling over the limestone and when you looked up it was like looking at the stars. It was very peaceful. Calming."

"Sounds awesome." Dean muttered, trying to envision something like what Cas had described, but he couldn't manage.

"One day we will go. Perhaps, Sam, you and Sarah can go to one on your honeymoon."

"That's a good idea Cas, thanks." Sam handed the bottle to Cas, who took a dutiful sip and passed it back to Dean who did the same. It carried on like that for a few more hours, Cas squished in between the two brothers, his head resting on Sam's outstretched arm and his lower half draped over Dean. Grace was on her back at their feet, her paws twitching as she ran in her dreams, chasing who knows what.

"Next year we're hitting New York and Times Square for this." Dean mumbled, he glanced at his watch, only fifteen minutes to go.

"Sydney is better. They have amazing fireworks displays." Cas responded, both Dean and Sam looked at him and asked, "How do you know?" Cas rolled his eyes, sighed, "I saw it the year before last."

"But you were with us that year."

"Sydney is a day ahead Dean, Cas got to celebrate the ringing of the New Year twice."

"Spoiled bastard." Their rambling conversation was brought to a halt by, "Hey guys!" They all jumped, well, Dean and Sam jumped while Cas tilted his head back and shot Gabriel a very wide, very drunk grin.

"Gabriel!"

"Castiel! Boy you are smashed bro. Good way to ring in the new year." Cas hummed his agreement and managed to sit up and crawled over to Gabriel and somehow, despite the awkward angle wrapped him in a hug.

"Okay, awkward. Nice to see you too." Gabriel patted Cas' back, looking thoroughly uncomfortable by the second that Cas didn't back off. Dean sat up, waited for the world to right itself before he dragged Cas away from Gabriel.

"Thanks for that." Gabriel nodded, plastered on his smile again and popped a lollipop into his mouth.

"What do we owe the torture?" Dean grumbled, settling Cas back between him and Sam so he could have support on either side no matter which way he tilted.

"Just wanted to come down and say Happy New Year to you two chumps and check in on my baby bro. Anywhere you guys wanna go? Kind of boring here if I do say so myself."

"We're fine here Gabe, thanks." Sam stretched his long legs out and they went back to watching the stars.

"Well you guys are no fun."

"Feel free to leave."

"No fun at all." Other than that, Gabriel fell into blissful silence for once, and when Dean's watch beeped at midnight they all mumbled, "Happy New Year." And drank the last from the bottle of Jack Daniels. Cas pressed a kiss to Dean's mouth, slurring something about a tradition and Gabriel laughed and turned to Sam asking, "So how about it Sammy? Little new year kiss for the road?"

"I'm married, thanks."

"Well, there's a shame. Think I'll hit up Vegas. See ya bro!" And with a flutter, Gabriel was gone. Cas grunted something incoherent and Dean knew they were close to losing him for the night.

"Sam, we should head back. Help me out with Cas; I think he's too far gone."

"He's gonna regret it in the morning." They stood, hauled Cas up between them and headed back for the hotel, which, thankfully wasn't too far a walk.

Dean didn't remember the rest of the night when he woke up in the morning, but Cas was octopussed to his side, face buried against Dean's neck.

"Morning sunshine."

"Mrrglglhr."

And that, ladies and gentlemen was one Castiel Novak, graduate of New York University, long lost twin to James Novak, freelance translator and former angel of the Lord.

Dean chuckled around his own hangover, pressed a kiss to Cas' forehead, "Go back to sleep Cas."

"Nngh."

"Both of you shut up and go back to sleep."

So they did.


	3. Stars in Your Eyes

check out the manip **Scoobert0** made for this story!

scoobert0. deviantart. com/ gallery/ 29011305#/ d3b3p0p (get rid of the spaces and you're good!)

she's so awesome for doing so many for me.

* * *

><p>Dean was walking up the walkway to the front door when he heard Grace barking. They'd only had the dog for a few months now, but she'd attached herself to Cas and you never saw Cas without Grace now. She was insanely protective of him; never even let Cas out of her sight. The one time Dean had found Cas' ticklish spots, which had caused Cas to screech in a very <em>manly<em> way of course, Grace had come running into the room, all snarls and bared teeth at Dean. Dean had had to back into the corner; his hands raised and tried to soothe Grace while Cas laughed about karma from the bed.

So now, Dean knew that if Grace was barking _something_ had to be wrong, Grace never barked unless Cas was put into danger. In a way Dean was glad for the dog, she kept Cas company and kept him safe when Dean wasn't around. They'd even taken her on a hunt a few weeks back and she'd nearly torn off the head of a vampire herself due to the fact it'd thrown Cas across the room. Which was how Dean found himself dropping the bags of groceries he'd been carrying from the car and running for the front door, cursing himself for not having a weapon of some sort.

When the front door opened, Dean was ready to fight, adrenaline pumping, mind already thinking about where the nearest weapon was located, "Cas! What-" Cas went sliding by in nothing but his boxers, Sam's hoodie and those damn fuzzy red socks. Grace was running after him, barking...happily? Dean let out a sigh, smacked his palm to his forehead and asked, "Cas, what the hell are you doing?"

"Dean! You're home!" Cas came running at him from the living room, slid the last few feet and threw himself into Dean's arms, kissing his cheeks, his forehead and finally his lips.

"Um, yeah?" Cas...giggled? Tore away from Dean and slid into the kitchen, laughing and giggling the entire way, Grace chasing after him again, with her tail wagging and happy little barks coming out of her. Dean sighed, returned outside to retrieve the groceries and when he came back into the house he asked, "What's the occasion Cas?"

"Must there be an occasion?" Came from the dining room area, meaning Cas had slid from the kitchen to there, the living room might be next. Dean headed into the kitchen, placed the bags on the counter and went in search of Cas. In all the time he'd been human Dean had never seen Cas act like this, never heard him laugh so readily or look so giddy.

Sure enough, soon as Dean stepped from the kitchen Cas went sliding by from the dining room and into the living room, Grace scrabbling along behind him.

Then Dean saw the candy wrappers spread over the floor in front of the couch.

"Crap."

"What?"

"Gabriel was here wasn't he?" Cas came sliding from the living room and collided with Dean, sending them both sprawling to the floor, Cas grinning down at him.

"Yes." Along with Cas being resurrected, Gabriel had been too, instead of Cas being up in Heaven bringing order back, it was Gabriel, but once a week found the archangel visiting his younger brother. He said it was to just make sure that none of them were bringing about the end of the world again; Sam was beginning to say Gabriel was full of shit and cared for his brother more than he cared to let on. He always brought candy with him, of course, and over the year or so had been trying to discover Cas' favorite.

"By the amount of candy wrappers on the floor can I gather he finally discovered your favorite candy?"

"Yes." Cas rolled off Dean, scrabbled up to his feet and booked it for the stairs. So that explained Cas' behavior, the former angel was experiencing his first ever sugar rush. There was a heavy thud from upstairs, followed by some hysterical laughter, Grace barking and then, "Dean! Dean! You need to come up here and try this!" There was silence and then another heavy thud, followed by more hysterical laughter.

"I really wish I had a video camera for this shit." Dean muttered, heading up the stairs to see what Cas was up to and what the hell those heavy thuds represented. In their bedroom, he found that Cas had taken all the pillows and blankets from their bed and the bed in the guest bedroom, piled them all on the floor and was jumping from the bed and thumping onto the piled bed linens.

"Cas, what the hell."

"I don't understand this feeling Dean, I feel so...so...euphoric!" Cas' voice was a little muffled since he was face first in several blankets.

"It's a sugar high dude. How many candy bars did you eat?"

"Um...a lot." Cas sat up, his hair even wilder than usual; his cheeks blushed red from the big grin on his face, blue eyes sparkling. Dean blinked at him, smiled and asked, "So, what turned out to be your favorite?"

"I believe they are called Milky Way bars."

"Milky Way? You didn't like the Pay Day?"

"No."

"Heathen." Cas snorted, hopped up and jumped onto the bed, made a pleased noise and jumped around a few more times.

"I don't know what has gotten into me Dean, but I can't seem to stop myself."

"Like I said, it's a sugar high dude, and since it's probably your first one you're going to be like a five year old on crack." Dean didn't bother adding in the fact that Cas would be crashing super hard soon. Cas bounced a few more times, then flew off the bed and thudded down into the bedding once more.

"Alright you," Dean grabbed Cas' arm and dragged him up, "Come on downstairs again, we'll even slide down the stairs." Cas laughed, maneuvered his arm from Dean's grip and tackled him to the floor, landing out in the hallway.

"Cas!"

"Dean!"

"If I'd known sugar would get you like this I would have fed it to you a long time ago." Cas chuckled from above him, rolled off and went sliding down the stairs on his stomach, head first.

"Cas!" There was a thud, then a, "Ouch, shit." Dean rolled over, peered down the stairs and asked, "You okay down there?"

"I'm fine, I should have realized that wasn't a good idea with the wall being here, and the stairs are rather hard." Dean laughed, rolled his eyes and went down the stairs like a normal person and found Cas sprawled at the bottom, arms and legs spread out. Dean nudged Cas' side with his foot and said, "Come on, let's clean up the mess you and your dick brother left in the living room and watch a movie."

"Gabriel is not so bad now."

"Please, he hasn't changed at all." Cas grunted as he stood, and disappeared into the living room Grace trailing along behind him. When Dean joined them, Cas had scooped all the wrappers up and was in the process of taking them into the kitchen to throw away, "Any movie in particular you wish to watch?" Before he completely disappeared, Cas responded with a, "Nope."

Dean contemplated their DVD collection, finally settled on _Inception_ and turned around to see Cas had come back into the living room and was sprawled on the couch, shooting Dean an obnoxious grin.

"It better not be Gabriel teaching you this shit." Dean grumbled, grabbing Cas' arm and trying to drag him up, but Cas was a limp dead weight, still giving Dean that cheeky smile.

"Alright, c'mon smartass help me out here." Cas laughed, finally sat up and folded his legs up underneath him, allowed Dean to settle next to him and patted the couch on the other side of him, signaling Grace to join them.

"Aw c'mon, she's gonna get her fur all over the place." Cas shot him look, placed his hand on Grace's head when it settled on his thigh and said, "It already is everywhere Dean."

"Shouldn't have gotten you that dog." Dean grumbled, pressing play on the remote the movie. He nearly missed the scandalized look Cas shot him and the way his fingers tightened in the dogs fur, Grace _woofed_ either in comfort to Cas or was calling Dean an asshole. "I was _kidding_ Cas." Cas smiled and said, "I know."

"Christ, Gabriel is corrupting you."

"_You're_ corrupting me."

"Whatever. Watch the movie." Cas smiled at him, then settled against Dean's side, fingers absently moving through Grace's fur.

Not thirty minutes later that weight against his side got heavier and Cas' head dropped onto his shoulder. Dean smirked, rested his cheek against Cas' soft hair and looked down at Grace who was looking up at him with her brown eyes.

"I so called this." Grace woofed again, this time Dean could tell it was in agreement.


	4. A Day in the Life Of

As an angel, Castiel had never had possessions, nothing to ever call his own. Now though he had things, _stuff_, and it was all his. The house was _his_ home, not like Heaven had been, Heaven had not belonged to him, he had belonged to Heaven. This house was his and Dean's and no one else's.

His favorite thing about the house was the one room that was absolutely his, the office. Dean got the garage for the Impala; Castiel got the third bedroom in the house to do with whatever he pleased. So he'd asked to have it turned into an office/library. Sam and Dean had spent an afternoon building the bookshelves that lined the walls on either side of the room and Castiel had filled them with _his_ books. They varied from the lore books they used to research, fiction he had discovered and enjoyed, some non-fiction and various books on languages to "fill the image of someone who translates shit".

There was a large desk made of dark, heavy wood under the singular window in the room, a comfy chair for him to be able to spend all day and night in. Sam had gotten him a laptop, which he called 'Mac' and said it would be good for his work. Sam had then taught him to personalize the laptop, make it more _his_.

He had things now, his own possessions. It had taken awhile to get used to the idea, he'd even said this to Dean who had only smiled and kissed him.

Now he even had a dog, a nice cellphone, a wallet filled with his money, his cards and his ID. He was so human now. Because he _was_ human.

Castiel sighed as Dean left for work for the day and headed up the stairs for his office. Or as Dean liked to call it "Cas' cave" since Castiel liked to keep it darker and cooler than the rest of the house. The only light would come from the window during the day and at night; he only had a desk lamp that cast a soft golden glow over the desk and nowhere else. He didn't know why he preferred it this way, he just did.

"What do you think Grace? Shall we get some work done today?" The dog was watching him as he entered the room, already settled in her spot underneath the desk, well accustomed to Castiel's routines by now. Her tail thumped when she saw him enter, most likely not because she could hear him even though Castiel had his doubts sometimes.

He settled in his chair, resting one sock clad foot against Grace's side and pulling the other up underneath himself. In one hand, he held the cup that contained his morning's tea while the other opened the laptop so it could start going through its boot up process. He hadn't checked his email for a few days, so that was first on his list.

Castiel couldn't help the small chuckle that bubbled up inside of him, email. Him, former angel of the Lord, emailed. And texted and held video conferences and wrote articles for magazines on occasion. He'd even gone on a "business trip" a few months ago to Peru to help with the translations of the ruins that had been discovered. He could have done it from home, from pictures, even without the pictures as he'd been there when the ruins had been created in the first place. He'd met people though, actually made friends, some of which were in his field others, which were interested and requested his help with certain things now.

All through email.

The modern world amazed him sometimes.

Sam would also email him, quite frequently too, asking for help on some of his subjects. He'd started taking night classes at the local college to pass some of the time, and he referred to Castiel more often than he did his textbooks.

Jimmy would also email him sometimes, but they usually saved their conversations for the phone calls that took place once a week. They had all been shocked when they'd discovered that when Castiel had been resurrected Jimmy had been placed back into his body and returned to his family. Castiel was merely a copy now and with Gabriel's help there had been forging of paperwork done to make Castiel and Jimmy twin brothers, separated at birth. Castiel had been given his certificate to show he had graduated college, been added into the system as proof and Sam and Dean Winchester had been removed from the FBI's most wanted list and their records cleared.

Gabriel _could_ be helpful when he wanted to be.

Jimmy had been angry for a while, Castiel couldn't blame him, but as Jimmy reconnected with his family he began the slow process of forgiving Castiel. They were actually pretty close now, Castiel would even receive texts from Claire on occasion, and she'd even begun to call him 'Uncle Cas' which made Castiel feel something he had never felt before and couldn't name.

The computer finished its boot up and Castiel couldn't help but smile at the picture Sam had helped him choose as the background when he'd first given the laptop to Cas.

Bobby had taken the picture; they'd all been at the park a few weeks after Grace had first joined their family. Dean, Sam and Sarah were seated on a park bench, Sarah squeezed in between the brothers. Castiel had been on the ground, leaning back against Dean's legs, Grace was sprawled across his lap, pink tongue lolled out. _Of course, we get the one hundred pound plus dog that thinks she can be a lapdog. _Was what Dean had said about her positioning, they were all smiling though, big wide smiles at the camera, the sun shining down on them and the sky bright, blue and endless above them.

It was Castiel's favorite picture of _his_ family.

"I'm glad you're happy with us here Gracie." Castiel muttered, his foot absently rubbing against her side where it rested. He smiled as she sighed and rolled over to better accommodate the foot rub. He managed to tear his eyes from the bright happy picture and open his email so he could get to work.

There was an email from Sam, asking for more help, and several requests for his help from several college professors. He could remember Dean's pride when he'd realized just how important Castiel was becoming, how quickly he was moving up the ranks of the scholarly world. He had enough on his plate to do for now, but he accepted the jobs being offered to him, he liked to keep busy, liked to be able to have things to do. As an angel he'd never had free time, there had always been something to do and somewhere to be. Now though, he had free time, and he was still learning how to deal with it.

As a result, he'd learned to cook and bake and according to Dean was damn good at it. He'd planted a garden in the backyard in order to have fresh ingredients for his cooking, had started running four to five times a week in the mornings and was well known at the farmers market that took place in town on Wednesdays.

He was nearly finished replying to Sam's email, which was turning out to be much longer than he'd intended which would probably please Sam, when he heard the small ding. Castiel paused, frowned then remembered it was the instant messenger on the computer letting him know he had a message, Sam had also introduced him to that, he only really talked to Claire when she was _supposed_ to be in class, and Sam since Sam was usually always on. Sometimes even Jimmy when Jimmy had some spare time at work.

_SamIAm_: Morning Cas. It is morning there isn't it?

_CNovak_: Yes it is. Good morning, Sam.

_SamIAm_: get my email?

_CNovak_ : Yes, I am nearly done in my response. Should you be online chatting while on your honeymoon?

_SamIAm_: I shouldn't be, but Sarah is at the spa getting a massage or something thought I'd see what's going on at home.

_CNovak_ : Very little. Dean has been working and so have I.

_SamIAm_: You guys are boring.

_CNovak_: I may have found a hunt for us to go one when you return.

_SamIAm_: Oh yeah? What is it?

_CNovak_: I am not going to tell you while you are on your honeymoon. Enjoy your time Sam, tell Sarah I said hello. Dean also told me to pass on that you two better be having a lot of sex.

_CNovak_: His words, not mine.

_SamIAm_: I swear, sometimes I think we're not related

_CNovak_: There is undeniable proof that you are in fact related.

Castiel chuckled and finished off the email and sent it on to Sam, eyed the conversation window and waited for Sam to say something else, he eyed his tea, which had gone cold and stretched his arms over his head, wincing as his back popped in several places.

He was bored, he knew this, he should be working but he couldn't find it in himself to do so, the earliest one of his projects needed to be turned in was several weeks from now so he had plenty of time. Dean liked to call him a procrastinator, but Castiel could easily finish this work on time, he didn't need to research or look things up, he could just simply translate. Being a former angel did have its benefits. He'd always be "sensitive" to some supernatural things, ghosts and demons especially and to his great joy he could still see people's souls, which helped on cases that involved people, he could see their fears and know when they lied, among other things.

He was mostly pleased he could still see Dean's soul though, it had always been bright and beautiful, more so than other humans souls. It was probably selfish of him, but he never told Dean this, just let him think it was what was left of his "mojo" that let him read other people's minds, not their souls. He never wanted to lose being able to see Dean's soul, the way it brightened from its clear white to a light red color when Castiel was near, the way it reached for him and settled into a gentle green when they relaxed and settled comfortably in bed or on the couch. He'd never tire of it.

_SamIAm_: Are you two going to pick us up from the airport? Dean said he'd make us walk or pay for a cab.

The computer dinged finally and Castiel turned his attention to Sam's message, smiling and shaking his head as he typed out a response.

_CNovak_: No, we will pick you up. Dean wants to go for drinks to celebrate your return.

_SamIAm_: Sounds like Dean. I'm going to head off, Sarah should be back soon. We'll see you tomorrow.

_CNovak_: Very well, enjoy your last day Sam.

_SamIAm_: Thanks Cas, thanks for the email too, I'll print it out and read it on the plane ride home. Think you wrote me a small book.

With that, Sam disappeared offline and Castiel shut the computer down, he wouldn't be getting any work done today at the rate he was going. Castiel had missed both Sam and Sarah while they had been off on their three-week honeymoon. They had gotten married out in California, Bobby, Dean, Cas, even Jimmy, Claire and Amelia had shown up. It had been small and personal, but it had been lovely nonetheless. The two had headed off for where Castiel had suggested all those months ago, New Zealand, they'd asked him to plan out their trip for them as their wedding present. He had done so, gladly.

That had all be three weeks ago, now they were coming home tomorrow and Castiel just needed to do something until then to pass the time.

"What do you think Gracie? Shall we make a pie?" He leaned down to look at the dog and she looked up at him, ears perked and her tail thumped against the floor.

"Sometimes I think you can hear me and that you're just pretending to be deaf so you can get the extra attention." Her tail thumped harder, most likely in response to the smile on his face rather than his accusing words.

"I knew it." She came out from under the desk, nose pressing into his cheek and she let out pleased little huffs of air as he scratched _that_ spot on her neck. He chuckled as her tongue came out and licked along his neck, "Alright, alright." He gently pushed her away and she settled her head in his lap, looking up at him with her soft brown eyes and her tail swishing behind her.

Castiel leaned down and rested his forehead against hers, took her ears in his hands and gently tugged and stroked them murmuring, "I never thought it would be possible to love an animal so much. When I was an angel I didn't understand the bond between humans and their pets, but now I do." He liked how Grace's soul (yes, animals have souls, they weren't as bright as human souls, but they were there, smaller and not as intense, but there) swirled a dark blue, yellow and green color, shifting more towards green as he continued playing with her ears.

He stopped after a few moments, pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose and got a swipe of her tongue on his cheek in response, "Come on furry one, let's make a pie."

An hour later Castiel was covered in flour, as was a better part of the kitchen and Grace, bits of dough were stuck to the cabinets over his head and he'd managed to get some of the sauce from the berries all over the front of his shirt. He heard the garage door opening and glanced at the clock with a frown, Dean never came home this early, and he never came home for lunch. He must have gotten off early.

Moments later the door behind him was opening and Dean was shouting, "Hey, Cas! I'm home-" he paused, chuckled and asked, "What'd you do? Kill the Pillsbury Dough Boy?"

Castiel sighed, turned around to look at Dean and said, "I...had a sneezing fit while I was mixing the dough together, as a result the mixer came out of the bowl with my arm and...well," Castiel shrugged, motioning towards the bits of dough he hadn't managed to clean up yet.

"And the flour?"

"When I turned to sneeze the bag of flour was open on the counter behind me, and the next sneeze hit it and," Castiel made an exploding motion with his hands and shrugged, looking down at himself, covered in flour and dough and the purple-blue stain of blueberries.

"Well, what kind of pie did you make at least?"

"Blueberry. Mrs. Fischer picked them fresh this morning." Castiel had taken Grace on a walk down the market after his failed attempt at working; Mrs. Fischer had been there, blueberries waiting for him.

She was a nice woman, always had fresh berries of any kind for him during the summer and apples in the fall and gave him good tips for his own garden, which ended up with him having more tomatoes than he knew what to do with. Her daughter Tiffany was usually with her, sometimes he could be talked into helping her with her French homework in exchange for blueberries.

He knew he had a slight addiction to the berries, but he couldn't help how he enjoyed the sweet and tangy flavor of them, it was one of the foods he truly enjoyed. Along with pie and French fries.

"Fresh blueberry pie, you spoil me Cas."

"Who said I made it for you?" Dean chuckled, pulled Castiel in for a hug despite the mess and kissed his temple, "I really do adore coming home to this kind of shit, this probably doesn't happen with the neighbors or anything."

"I'd hope you'd enjoy coming home no matter what."

"Oh I do." Castiel hummed, smiled when the timer dinged and reluctantly pulled away from Dean to check on his pie.

"Sam comes home tomorrow."

"Yes, I know."

"We're all going out for drinks. Much as I'm happy for him and Sarah I do kind of miss having his gigantic ass around." Castiel hummed his agreement, added a few more minutes to the timer, and turned his attention back to Dean. He had missed Sam as well, despite Castiel's growing network of people he was beginning to consider friends, he and Sam had grown closer since the end of the apocalypse. They had their things in common, found books, supernatural things and history to talk about.

Castiel had felt immensely pleased when he had heard Sam refer to Castiel as his best friend. It had been that same warm feeling in his chest he got when Claire called him 'Uncle Cas'. He wished he had a name for it.

"They'll be here in the early afternoon."

"I know, I told Sam we would pick them up."

"When did you two talk?"

"This morning on the computer."

"That's right, I forgot Sam got you all modernized."

"It's good he did, it's a fantastic way to keep in touch." Dean simply shook his head and wandered over to lean against the counter, watching as Castiel pulled the pie from the oven when the timer dinged again.

"Figured you'd be working when I got home and I'd have to drag you away to get you to go out to dinner with me tonight."

"I didn't feel like working today."

"That's different for you." Castiel shrugged and turned the oven off, jumping when he noticed Dean had moved directly behind him.

"Yes, well, we're all allowed to do different things." Castiel couldn't help but lean into Dean's touch when his arms wrapped around his waist.

"So what did you do today then?"

"Absolutely nothing." Castiel murmured into Dean's shoulder, inhaling the familiar scent of oil, leather and grease.

"We both need showers."

"The pie..."

"Screw the pie; I'd rather have you wet and naked."

"...but its blueberry."

* * *

><p>The next day they picked Sam and Sarah up from the airport, both were grinning, happy and tanned. Sarah hugged them both in greeting and there was something about her that Castiel couldn't quite place, something different.<p>

"I'm used to the staring Cas but it's starting to freak me out a little." Castiel blinked, smiled apologetically and said, "Sorry Sarah, there's just something..."

"What?"

"Nothing, it's good to see you." They hugged again, and the four headed for the car and to the bar they all frequented downtown.

At the bar Castiel was trying to stare at Sarah as discreetly as possible, he knew he wasn't doing as good a job at it as he hoped from the looks both Sam and Dean kept shooting him. Sarah was silent about it though, so he kept at it, trying to decipher what was different, it was familiar to what little of his angelic senses remained, something he should know off the bat, but he wasn't an angel anymore and things that should have been easy weren't any longer.

Their drinks arrived finally and they all raised their glasses to congratulate Sam and Sarah on their marriage once more. Sarah was about to take her first drink when Castiel caught it, the little flare of her soul, an added brightness to it. He grabbed her wrist before she could drink and managed a, "Don't!"

Sarah frowned at him, "Cas, what-"

"You don't know?" They were all frowning at him now, Dean's eyebrows raised and Sam eying the hand that was still wrapped around Sarah's wrist. Castiel gently released her wrist and took her drink from her.

"Know what Cas?" Castiel looked down at her stomach, then back up at her eyes, it took a moment but her eyes widened and a small gasp escaped from her.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Um...two other people here who don't know what's going on here." Dean growled from the other side of the booth, kicking at Castiel's shins. Castiel ignored him though, he just sat there, grinning at Sarah who had her hand resting on her stomach, she grinned back at him, "Do you know," she paused, clearing her throat, "Do you know how long?"

"No, if I were still an angel I would. But...no, I don't, I'm sorry."

"Oh, Cas, that doesn't matter!"

"_Hello. _Lost over here!" Dean kicked at Castiel again who turned to face him, rolling his eyes while Sarah turned to Sam, the same large smile on her face.

Castiel could see the moment Sam understood.

"Oh. Oh..._oh_."

"What! _What?_" Castiel sighed at Dean, threw several pretzels from the bowl in the middle of the table at him and snapped, "She's _pregnant_ you moron!"

"Oh...oh shit!"

* * *

><p>so it's known, I googled "mood colors" and this is basically where I came up with the colors and souls and moods. I also kind of improvised a bit but there it all is.<p>

Red- excited

Blue- very happy, love

Green- relaxed, calm

Yellow- joy


	5. Where We Love is Home

Dean didn't miss Cas, he didn't. Nope. Not. At. All.

He heard Grace sigh from her spot by the front door, her eyes fixed out the window that reached the floor there. She hadn't really moved at all since Cas had left, only to eat and to go outside for the bathroom. He kind of understood how she felt.

Who was he kidding; he was moping around the house like some lovesick teenager. Hell, they both were.

Cas had been gone for three weeks now, set off on one of those trips for work or whatever the hell he wanted to call them. Had left for Egypt, saying he'd be gone for three weeks at the most and would most likely be home after only a week.

That had been_ three_ weeks ago. Even when Cas had gone to Peru all those months ago he'd only been gone a week. Dean wasn't used to this, wasn't used to feeling so useless without someone around, wasn't used to missing someone so damn much. He had grown so used to Cas just constantly being there, had grown used to falling asleep in bed with another body next to his and how no matter what position they fell asleep in Cas was always curled up against Dean in the morning when they woke.

Hell he still even made a cup of tea in the morning before he realized Cas wasn't even there.

He hated himself a little bit for becoming so dependent on someone to just be there. Maybe he did need a little break-no. Dean smacked himself mentally, he and Cas had already been through all this when their relationship had been new, when Dean had still been insecure, still freaked out by the feelings he had for Cas. He hadn't understood then, but he did now. He loved Cas, he wanted Cas in his life, wanted to wake up every morning to that warm body pressed to his. Wanted to come home every day to Cas dancing and singing in the kitchen while he made dinner for them. He wanted it all, he _deserved_ it now.

He snapped out of staring at the feather Cas had given him last Christmas, Dean had had it set in a case and that case currently hung on the wall in their living room, keeping that feather safe and secure. Sometimes Dean would take it out of the case and just hold it in his hands, enjoying that tingle that ran through his whole body. Sam had touched it once and said he hadn't felt any kind of tingle, Cas had gone on to explain it was just the grace left in the feather reacting to the grace left in Dean's body from when he'd been pulled from the Pit. Dean liked to think shit like that just solidified their relationship.

"We really need to get over ourselves Grace." The dog completely ignored him of course, and Dean reminded himself he wasn't like Cas, he couldn't talk to the dog when she couldn't hear a damn thing anyway. He'd walked in on Cas having full conversations with her, that was something Dean would never understand.

Dean went back to wandering around the house, stopping by the office to peek in even though he knew there would be no Cas sitting at the desk typing away at his laptop or jotting notes down a piece of paper. The house felt too quiet, too empty without Cas' presence. Cas would usually have some kind of music going in the background because he didn't like the quiet, said he'd always heard the voices of his brothers in the back of his mind and he didn't anymore, he hadn't for long while. He wasn't used to the quiet in his mind that came with being human so he filled it with music.

It was mostly rock of some kind, the classic rock that Dean listened to all the time and the kind that Cas preferred, modern rock, or as Sam called it _Alternative Dean, it's called Alternative_. Whatever. Sometimes it would be the dancy, poppy shit that Sarah liked, sometimes it was classical music. Thankfully, there was never rap or country, Dean could handle the rock since it was like his own taste of music in ways, but he didn't think he could handle country music. Or the emo shit Sam liked to listen to.

"Dean? You home?" Sam's voice came from downstairs and Dean headed back down, closing the door to the office behind him.

"Yeah Sam. What's up?" His brother and Sarah were standing in the entryway, shaking rain from their coats. It may have been May and springtime, but there was still a slight chill in the air that called for warmer clothes, especially when it rained.

"Cas not home yet?" Sarah asked, looking around the house, hand resting on her swollen belly.

Dean glanced at his watch, shook his head and said, "I'm leaving soon to go pick him up from the airport."

"Oh." Sarah looked a little disappointed and Dean couldn't help but smile at her. She'd picked up the habit of asking Cas all her questions, having Cas reassure her that everything was going okay in the pregnancy. It seemed that since he could see the soul of the baby he could tell if everything was okay, so Sarah had taken it upon herself to trust him more than her own doctor, calling them at all hours of the night to ask a question, sending email after email to Cas, asking what was and wasn't okay. Cas didn't seem to mind, but Dean could only take having his happy fun Cas time interrupted so many times.

"Baby books, this is what baby books are for Sarah!" Dean had snapped at one point, the phone snatched from Cas' hands when the former angel had answered.

"_Dean_." How Cas could sound so accusing while he was under Dean, naked and panting, how he could sound so _disappointed_ when he'd just been telling Dean _right there, oh God Deanrightthere!_ Was beyond Dean's understanding.

"She's scared Dean, and it's understandable. She's a first time mother and she has every right to be worried and concerned. She's bringing _new life_ into this world, surely you can understand, with everything you've witnessed and done how that can make her nervous." Put like that, Cas really did have a good point. But really? Couldn't the three in the morning phone calls wait until a decent hour?

Dean took in the suitcases behind the two and sighed, "Really? Today?" Sarah patted her stomach, smiled and said, "Eight months Dean. We told you we'd move in when I hit the eight month mark."

"You can't wait until tomorrow? Can't give me and Cas a day at home? I really want to have loud, welcome home sex with him when we get back." Sam pulled a face but Sarah simply kept smiling, she was usually completely unfazed when it came to sex talk like Sam was. Dean blamed the fact that she and Cas could usually be found in the kitchen while they were making cookies or pies or _whatthefuckever_ gossiping like high school cheerleaders in the bathroom during a football game. Dean always had a feeling his and Cas' sex life was a common topic between the two. How Sarah could find that a proper conversational topic was another thing Dean would never understand.

"Sorry Dean, eight months is eight months. You're also not the only one who missed Cas."

"I'm the only one who gets to have sex with him though." Sarah simply shrugged, hung her coat up and pulled her suitcase down a short hallway off the living room and into the guest room. At least they'd be down on the ground floor while he and Cas had the upstairs to themselves. He still didn't understand why they had to move in, even if it was only temporary.

Cas had explained how he could see the baby's soul, how it was cocooned in Sarah's, kept safe by her while the baby continued to develop. He'd gone on to say when the baby was ready to be born its soul would separate from Sarah's and move into its proper place. He'd patted his sternum when he'd said place, showing them where their souls resided. After that, Sarah had declared that when she hit the eight-month mark they'd be moving in so Cas would be able to tell them when it was time and they'd be able to head for the hospital.

She'd even gone so far as to ask if Cas could deliver the baby at home for her, and much to Dean and Sam's relief he had shaken his head and told her it was a much better idea for her to do it at the hospital in case something were to go wrong. He was no longer an angel so he wouldn't be able to heal her or the baby or transport them to the hospital. He had also added that yes he would have been able to deliver it since he had witnessed thousands of births, but it didn't mean he should. Sarah had then announced Cas was to be in the delivery room with her and Sam when the time came, and hey, where Cas was Dean was too damnit.

Dean had a feeling he'd regret that decision when the time came.

Sam shot Dean an apologetic smile and followed Sarah into the guestroom; Dean shot Grace a look and said, "So much for being a guard dog, you didn't even bark when they let themselves in." Grace simply looked at him as if to say _Cas isn't here, what's there to protect dumbass?_

"I'm probably going to regret this, but you can come with me when I go to pick him up. Fuck, why am I even_ talking_ to you?" She turned her gaze away from him and with a heavy sigh went back to looking out the window.

"She seems pretty depressed without Cas around." Dean jumped as Sam appeared by his side.

"She hasn't moved from that spot really. She saw that suitcase and went directly into this mode no matter what Cas did." Sam hummed from beside Dean and they both watched the big black and tan blob continue to lie there. Dean was pleased that Grace and Cas were so close, that Grace protected Cas as well as she did, but moments like this worried him sometimes.

How would Cas react when it was time to say goodbye to Grace? Dogs didn't live forever unfortunately and Cas had yet to experience grief as a human. He had as an angel, killing his brothers, learning of Gabriel's death, but he'd had his grace to cushion those emotions, acting as a barrier. Now he didn't have that, and when the time came for Grace to move on, how would Cas react?

It would be a devastating loss, Dean knew this. He just worried about how Cas would handle it. He'd seen him pissed off, impatient and frustrated, hyper, in pain from the migraines he sometimes got, so happy he nearly glowed and excited. Cas had pretty much experienced everything now after three years as a human, just not grief. Not that emotional pain of loss of someone or something you loved. And oh, how Cas loved Grace, she was right up there with Dean on his list, and when Cas loved, he loved with everything he was. Loved with his whole heart and his entire being, when Grace died Dean was scared that Cas would shatter, even with Dean there for him.

"Dean?"

"Huh?" Dean snapped out of staring at Grace. He didn't need to be thinking of this shit. She was only five years old; she had many more years left in her, especially since Cas took her to the vet every three months for a checkup since he was a huge worrywart. The vet always told them she was one of the healthiest dogs he had coming in there and could be expected to live a very, very long life. That had been one of the times Cas nearly glowed in his happiness.

"Shouldn't you be leaving for the airport?" Sam was looking at Dean with his eyebrows raised, a question in his eyes. Dean must have had something showing on his face when he'd been thinking of Grace dying and Cas. Dean glanced at his watch again and nodded, "Yep, I should." He grabbed his keys and wallet from the small table by the door, sighed, took Grace's leash off its hook, and waved it at her to get her attention.

"Well, let's go pick up Cas then you moper." She shot up from her spot on the floor and either she could read lips or she could hear. Cas had expressed on more than one occasion now that he thought Grace could hear things now, Dean didn't really care either way, as long as she protected Cas, kept him company and didn't die any time soon he was fine with her.

They headed off for the airport, Grace settled in the backseat her nose pressed against the window, Dean dealt with the fact that she was smudging up the window, he was too excited to care. Cas was coming home, he'd see Cas soon. Very soon. He could handle anything at that point.

Dean hesitated before heading into the airport itself, he looked back at Grace who he figured he would just leave in the car while he waited for Cas. He didn't want to leave her out here in the rain though, Dean sighed, grabbed her leash and got out of the car, waiting as she hopped over the seats and joined him out in the wet.

"Better be glad I love Cas enough to bring you in with me. Should also be glad they let dogs in in the baggage claim." There he went, talking to her again. Why did he insist on talking to her when she couldn't hear him or even respond? He glanced at his watch again, Cas' flight had landed fifteen minutes ago, but he figured it would probably take a while to get through customs so he didn't rush in his walk to the building, even though he wanted to.

Dean found his way to the baggage claim, stood in front of one of the TV screens hanging from the ceiling to find out if Cas' flight was on time, saw it was, scoped out which baggage carousel his luggage would come from and went and stood by the escalators to wait.

Grace sat calmly by his side, ignoring all the people walking around her and giving the ones that stopped to ask Dean if they could pet her, a small amount of attention. But her focus was elsewhere, she probably knew they were waiting for Cas, and she was busy keeping an eye out for him. Dean gave her head an absent stroke, which earned him a quick glance before she was staring back at the people coming down and off the escalators.

Dean's mind was wandering, daydreaming about what he would do to Cas tonight when they were home and in bed, trying to be quiet so as not to disturb Sam and Sarah downstairs. He was nearly yanked off his feet as Grace surged forward suddenly; Dean looked up and around and spotted why. Cas was coming down the escalator, wearing those jeans that made his ass look edible and one Dean's old Henley's, the messenger bag that contained his laptop slung over his shoulder. His attention was down on his phone; eyes squinted in a way that made Dean think they'd have to get him glasses soon and fingers tapping away. Dean couldn't have loved him anymore in that moment.

Grace let out a bark and Cas' head shot up, the grin that broke out over his face when he spotted Dean and Grace lit something deep inside of Dean, something warm and content. God he was turning into such a girl.

Figuring Dean wouldn't get anywhere with Cas when Grace was as excited as she was, he let go of her leash and watched as she raced forward, reaching Cas just as he got off the escalator. She hopped around him for a moment, happy barks escaping from her until Cas knelt down and wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in the thick fur around her neck. Happy whines were escaping from Grace as she struggled to lick at his cheek and neck; Dean watched people smiling down at them and decided it was his turn to greet Cas.

"I'm not going to kiss you hello if she nails you on the lips with her tongue." Cas grinned up at him, let Grace go and was up on his feet and kissing Dean before Dean had a chance to pull his hands from his pockets.

"I missed you." Cas muttered against his lips, kissing Dean again and then again.

"I missed you too." Dean finally managed to get his arms around Cas, pulled him closer, their bodies pressing together from their chests down to their hips. Grace was pressed against the back of Cas' legs, pushing them closer together and Dean was oh so very tempted to drag Cas out to the car and have his way with him in the backseat of the Impala.

"Please don't leave for that length of time again. I was fucking miserable."

"Maybe you should just come with me next time." Dean scowled and they moved apart, ignoring the people that were either glaring at them for temporarily blocking the way or just openly watching two grown men making out in the middle of the airport.

"Come on, let's get your bags and head home. Sam and Sarah are there." Dean draped his arm over Cas' shoulders while Cas fit his own arm around Dean's waist, Grace's leash held loosely in his other hand. They headed for the baggage carousel where bags were slowly going around already and Dean asked, "How was Egypt?"

"Hot. Dry. Hot."

"Find anything interesting?"

"I may or may not have 'helped' them discover the location of a new tomb." Dean snorted and rolled his eyes, naturally Cas would do such a thing since he probably knew where they all were to begin with.

"Well I hope they credit you for it."

"They will."

"Good." Dean couldn't help himself so he leaned down those few inches and buried his nose in Cas' hair, breathing in the smell of the peppermint shampoo Cas liked to use, and the faint smell that was just _Cas_ and pressed a kiss to the soft skin of Cas' temple. Cas gave a small smile, squeezed Dean's waist and moved away when he spotted his bag, Grace bouncing along at his side. Dean watched with a smile on his face and that warm feeling deep inside of him, he was always amazed at how Cas made him feel, how happy he was around him, how carefree and loose. Dean never wanted to lose it.

Cas returned with his suitcase behind him, Grace still at his side, smile on his face, "Shall we go home?"

As far as Dean was concerned home was here right now with Cas and Grace.


	6. A Dream of Possibilities

They were all currently in the living room, Sam and Sarah were on the couch, Sarah lay out with her feet in Sam's lap to better receive the foot rub she was getting. Dean and Castiel were on the loveseat, Dean propped against several cushions with Castiel sprawled on top of him.

Castiel was still working on recovering from his jetlag and time differences but was finding it difficult due to the fact Dean usually kept him occupied during the night with other, more interesting things than sleep and during the day, that exhaustion would creep up on him. The first night he had been back had been the hardest, Castiel had somehow convinced Sam and Sarah to return home for a night or two so he and Dean, as Dean so eloquently put it, have sex _everywhere_.

They had, Castiel had slept all through the next day and been up the rest of the night, struggling with ignoring Dean to just sleep some more so he could return his internal clock to a normal time for home. Right now though, he was happily started to drift off into a light doze, Dean's fingers running absently through his hair while his attention was on the movie playing on the TV.

Usually he cursed those fingers for knowing every inch of himself, knowing where to stroke and touch to perfectly distract Castiel from what he needed to get done, but now...now they were magical and wondrous and knew just what to do...oh.

A chuckle vibrated up into Castiel's ear from where it was resting on Dean's chest, "Dude, are you _purring_?"

"Mmm." Castiel nudged his head back in Dean's hand in a silent command for more, he never understood how such a thing could relax him so much, send all his muscles from stiff to melting into the nearest surface. He was never going to complain when Dean did such things though. Dean tugged on a lock of hair gently before returning to running his fingers through it, attention once again on the movie.

Castiel was on the verge of finally drifting off into some much-needed sleep when he heard Grace give a quiet _woof_ from her bed in the corner. Castiel opened one eye and one eye only, somehow hoping it would keep him from waking fully. Grace had shifted from her graceless sprawl on her back and had her black head resting between tan paws, gaze firmly fixed on Sarah. Castiel squinted at Grace with his one open eye, the dog never really stared at anyone but him, pretty much ignored everyone unless she deemed them acceptable. Which was pretty much only Castiel, although on occasion she had shown interest in Gabriel, it generally depended on the dogs mood though.

Grace shifted her gaze to Castiel then returned it back to Sarah with another quiet _woof_. Reluctantly Castiel opened his other eye, shifted his head on Dean's chest and looked over to Sarah.

"Oh."

"What?" Dean asked, stopping his absent stroking of Castiel's hair.

"Huh?"

"What's going on?"

"All of you shut up, I'm trying to watch the movie." Castiel blinked as everyone's attention was suddenly on him. Sarah looked annoyed at the movie being interrupted while Sam and Dean simply looked confused as to why Castiel had suddenly made a surprised sound.

"Um." How was he supposed to tell Sarah that she was going to experience what would probably be the worst pain of her life in a few short hours? All he wanted to do was curl up in bed, either with Dean or Grace, right now, he didn't care, he just wanted to catch up on the sleep he so desperately craved as a human now. He knew with those simple words everyone would fly into a panic, full of action and things that weren't _sleeping_.

He meant to say _nothing_ and lay back down, move Dean's hand back into his hair and happily doze until Sarah felt it herself, but instead his mouth spoke without his permission, "It's happening."

Everyone frowned at him. He let out a frustrated sigh; must he spell everything out for them all the time?

"Labor. Sarah you will go into labor soon."

There was a pause in which it sunk in, then, as Castiel had predicted, everyone was up and moving. Talking at once, rushing around the house gathering things and calling people. Castiel sighed and watched them move around, then flopped back onto the couch with his arm over his eyes. There was plenty of time, labor could take hours, sometimes days before anything actually happened and Sarah hadn't even begun to feel the first contractions yet.

It would be awhile.

He felt Grace more than heard her as she approached, he lifted his arm to look at her as she stood by the loveseat, chin resting on the cushion by his hip, "This is your fault." Her tail gave a brief wag and a low whine escaped her.

Castiel sighed, stroked her head and muttered, "I can't possibly stay mad at you. That is also your fault."

"Cas! What are you doing? Come on, get up! We gotta go!" Castiel opened his mouth to reply there was no rush, but Dean was already gone, shouting something to Sam at the other end of the house. With a groan Castiel returned his arm to its place over his eyes, he should have just kept his mouth shut.

Seven hours and eight cups of coffee later Castiel found himself sitting between Dean and a man who had introduced himself as Mark, he was here with his wife who was having their second child. Castiel tried to be polite and listen, but he was to focused on how nervous Dean himself was, focused on going into the room to check on Sarah whenever she demanded he come and make sure everything was progressing as it should be. He and Dean would join her and Sam when the time came for the baby to be born, Sarah was well on her way but there were still many hours ahead of them.

"Christ, how long is this supposed to last?" Dean muttered from his left, leg bouncing up and down. Castiel placed his hand on Dean's thigh, stilling the movement while saying, "Labor can last anywhere from ten to twenty-four hours. Sometimes longer."

"Crap. I'm going to go get some coffee, you want one?" Castiel shook his head, he had already had eight cups and the caffeine was making him restless, especially since he had failed to bring anything to do with him. He'd been far too interested in lying on the couch for as long as he could until Sam had come and bodily dragged him to the car.

They had arrived at the hospital just as Sarah had felt the first contraction, the nurses had looked at them oddly, especially since the next contraction took sixteen minutes to arrive, but they'd taken Sarah to a room anyway. Castiel stretched his legs out in front of him and held in a sigh, he should have grabbed a book or his sketchpad, _anything_ to keep himself occupied.

"Here." He jumped when Dean sat down beside him again, tossing something onto his lap. Castiel looked at it, it was a book of crossword puzzles because Dean _knew_, he understood how Castiel still wasn't used to being idle. Understood how he didn't like to sit still for long periods of time unless he was working or sleeping, knew Castiel's mind was constantly buzzing with his own private commentary or random facts about the things he knew.

Dean understood this and bought him crossword puzzle books from hospital gift shops and handed him pens that he took from the nurses' station.

Castiel smiled at Dean who instantly softened, patted Castiel's knee and asked, "So, you going to tell me what it is?"

"Is this meant to be a bribe?" Castiel indicated the book he had opened to a random page in the middle and looked over at Dean with what he hoped was a smug smile. Only he and Sarah knew the sex of the baby and they both refused to tell the brothers. Castiel had even helped choose the name, it was something he was sure would please both Sam and Dean, make them happy.

"Maybe."

"I'm not going to tell you."

"Oh _come on_ Cas!"

"You can wait. You will know by the end of the day, or tomorrow morning." Dean growled at him as Castiel calmly filled in _Edo_ for twenty-two down _Tokyo's name, once_. Dean watched as Castiel calmly filled out the puzzle, rarely pausing unless it had to do with a pop culture reference he didn't understand.

"How do you _know _this stuff?" Dean asked while Castiel finished his fourth puzzle. Castiel paused, looked at Mark who had been watching his progress with interest before responding with, "I just do Dean, you know this."

"Yeah, you're a giant nerd." Castiel simply rolled his eyes and went back to his puzzles.

Three more hours passed and Castiel had long since pushed the crossword puzzle book underneath the chair he was sitting on, bored with it. He allowed himself a quick stretch, twisting to the side slightly, back popping. His eyes were grainy; his mind foggy with exhaustion and now all he wanted was his soft bed. Dean was slouched low in the chair beside him, hands playing with his empty coffee cup, eyes watching the nurses as they worked.

Castiel found himself with his head resting on Dean's shoulder, a yawn ripping through him every few minutes until he found it himself to stop. Dean chuckled, rested his hand on Castiel's thigh and muttered, "I'm sorry for keeping you awake."

"S'fine."

"I just missed you is all."

"I know Dean."

"Usually can't keep my hands off you to begin with, and then not being able to touch you for three weeks, well. You know."

"I said it was okay Dean, you don't need to explain yourself to me." Mostly because Castiel was exactly the same way, always wanting to touch Dean, to be near him. Dean squeezed his thigh and they both fell into silence again, Castiel feeling his eyelids drooping against his will. He gave in finally and was close to drifting off completely when Sam approached and said, "Doctor says it's time."

It was a blur from there, all action and movement and commands from the doctors and then the wailing of new life. Castiel couldn't help the smile on his face, felt Dean's hand snake into his, their fingers lacing together without thought, Sam looking dazed and pleased and Sarah looking as exhausted as Castiel felt.

Awhile later, it was just the four; _five_ of them left in the room, the baby nestled into Sarah's chest, bundled up in pink striped blankets. Both Sam and Dean looked on in awe and Sarah and Castiel shared a smile, "She's perfectly healthy Sarah, as I'm sure you know."

"We uh-I'm...uh." Sam cleared his throat, glared at Dean when Dean chuckled, then simply shrugged, unable to take his eyes from his wife and child. Castiel watched on as Dean received his turn to hold the baby, simply staring at her for a while before asking, "So, what are you going to name her?"

"Well, I already decided on a name. Cas helped me pick out, said you two would probably appreciate it." Both Sam and Dean turned to look at him and Castiel simply shrugged while Sarah continued, "I wanted to name her after my own mother, but Louise wasn't really fitting I think."

"Yeah...no." Dean muttered, smiling down at the bundle in his arms. Castiel couldn't help but smile, seeing such an open warmth and happiness on Dean's face was a rare thing and Castiel took his time to bask in it, even if it wasn't directed at him.

"So then Cas suggested Mary, after your guys' mom." They both looked over at Sarah then, Dean handing the baby over to Sam when Sam gestured it was his turn.

"So then I decided on Mary Louise Winchester. I hope that's okay with you both." Sam grinned down at his daughter and said, "I couldn't have picked a better name myself."

"Good, 'cause she was going to be named that whether you liked it or not." They were silent for a while, just basking in the new life that joined their small family, and then Sam was approaching Castiel, arms holding Mary out to him.

"Sam, I-" Before he could finish his protest, his arms, against his will had formed a cradle and Mary was there, in all his time he'd never before held a child. He almost didn't know what to do, but his body seemed to know perfectly well, shifting his hands to gently support her head, cradling her to his chest to keep her warm.

One of her arms had managed to wiggle free from its cocoon of pink blankets and her small hand waved at him. He took it in his own, marveling at how _small_ she was. How small her hand looked in comparison to his own, how tight her hand gripped his index finger when it fit there, how brightly her soul shone, an intense mixture of yellows, blues and greens. She simply stared up at him with the blue eyes of a newborn, not realizing the impact she was currently having on Castiel's state of mind.

He was in awe of this little being, this small little person that was so dependent on him in that moment, how she relied completely on him to keep her safe and warm, how she would rely on her mother and father for most of her life.

Castiel realized then that he would do _anything_ for her. Would die for her just as he would die for Dean, would do anything to keep her safe and to keep her happy. He was shocked at the intense rush of affection and she wasn't even _his_. He felt a strange longing to have something like this that _was_ his, that he could call his own, but he knew it would never happen. Neither he or Dean were capable of such things, but he could make do with Mary, he would keep her safe and happy. He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, whispering a prayer for her protection and happy life and looked up to see Sam, Sarah and Dean grinning at him.

"What?" His hold tightened on Mary and Sam looked over at Dean and said, "Looks like you'll have some strong competition for favorite uncle, Dean."

Dean snorted, rolled his eyes and muttered, "Nonsense." He moved towards Castiel, rested a warm hand on the back of his neck, rested their foreheads together and green eyes met blue. They stared at each other; Dean almost seemed to be apologizing to Castiel, as if he _knew_ what Castiel wanted and knew he couldn't give it to him.

Castiel found himself okay with it though, they could find another way, and it wasn't their time yet. He pressed his forehead against Dean's for a moment before he heard, "Can I have my daughter back now?"

Castiel was tempted to say no and just stand there forever, pressed to Dean with Mary between them, but he gave a small sigh and walked to Sarah, relinquishing his hold on Mary. Sam grinned at him, "Don't worry, we'll make you babysit a lot."

He found he actually looked forward to that.


	7. The Beginning of All Things, Part 1

On the morning they were supposed to leave Dean found himself standing in the doorway to the bedroom, cup of coffee in one hand the other shoved into the pocket of his jeans. They had agreed to head out around eight in the morning, but it was currently nine and Cas had somehow managed to turn off the alarm Dean had left on for him.

Cas, currently, was doing his best impression of a starfish across the bed. One foot hanging over the edge, pale calf exposed to the morning light filtering in from the window. He had his face smushed into a pillow, one arm flung out from his side, the other tucked under another pillow. There may or may not have been some drool happening too.

He looked warm and comfortable and it took every ounce of Dean's self-control to not crawl back into bed with him and arrange the wayward limbs until they were wrapped around Dean. Instead, he sighed, walked to the edge of the bed and tapped Cas' leg.

"Come on sleepyhead, we were supposed to head out an hour ago."

A grumble and the dark head of hair disappeared underneath the blanket. Dean tapped at Cas' foot next, knowing he was insanely ticklish there, another grumble and the foot joined the head under the blankets.

"Cas, come on."

"Go away."

"I made you tea."

"Don't care."

"Cas-"

"Go _away_." Let it never be said that Cas was a morning person. He refused to get up with the sun, growling and snapping at people who dared to disturb him. Dean and Sam had learned the hard way that you just don't disturb and ex-angel when he's got thousands of years of sleeping to catch up on.

If you did manage to get him up before ten then he was grouchy and pissy until he had had a couple cups of tea put into him. That was another thing Dean had been shocked to learn, Cas didn't like coffee, he'd only really drunk it because it was what Dean drank and he didn't know any better as a new human. Coffee was a last resort for Cas or if there was simply no tea around.

Dean sighed, set his coffee cup down on the nightstand and ripped the blanket off the bed, exposing Cas to the cool morning air. Cas merely grunted at the disturbance, not bothered since it was the middle of August and the day was already ridiculously warm. It was also then that Dean realized Cas was _naked. _He could have sworn Cas had crawled into bed last night in the stupid pajama pants Dean had gotten him for his "birthday" as a joke, blue with fluffy winged angels decorating the legs. But here was Cas, gloriously naked and his beautiful ass on display before Dean. Dean spotted the pajama pants bunched on the floor by his feet and sighed, "You sneaky bastard, you did that on purpose."

"Got hot." Cas muttered to his pillow, throwing his leg back out, foot colliding with Dean's thigh. Cas hummed to himself and his foot started drifting...Dean slapped it away and growled, "Stop that, you need to get up. It's an eleven hour drive, we need to get going." Cas simply cracked a blue eye open, shot Dean a sly smile and _wiggled his ass_.

"You're going to kill me Cas, get up."

"I already am _up_ Dean."

"Gabriel's been having you watch pornos again hasn't he."

"Maybe." Cas shifted, resting his chin on his forearms as he watched Dean over his shoulder, smooth thighs sliding open oh so invitingly. Dean sighed and pulled his shirt over his head, muttering while he did so, "_Killing_ me Cas." Cas simply smiled, humming happily when Dean covered that lithe body with his own, "What's another twenty minutes anyway?"

An _hour_ later, they were finally in the Impala, Cas loose limbed and satisfied in the passenger seat while Dean scowled at him from behind the steering wheel and Grace snored in the back.

"Don't be annoyed at me Dean, your own fault you can't control yourself." Dean rolled his eyes, he did have a point, and Dean had never been able to resist Cas just like Cas could never resist Dean.

"At least I didn't leave you to take care of it yourself." Cas simply grunted his agreement, resting his head in his palm as Dean drove through town and for the highway. Cas had found them a hunt the night before, he had probably sensed Dean's building restlessness at being stationary for too long and had put aside his work and searched.

Sam had wanted to join them, had insisted on it, but both Dean and Cas agreed on the fact that he shouldn't, Mary was only a month old and Sarah needed Sam to be around. He needed to spend time with his new family, Dean also wanted to spend some time alone with Cas finally, no Sam and Sarah around to keep them distracted.

"So, where are we headed again?"

"Nye, Montana."

"Sounds more like bumfucknowhere, Montana to me."

"Close enough. Only two hundred people, no other town for several miles."

"Sounds like a good time, what's going on there?" Cas sighed, pulled his bag up from between his feet, rifled through some papers, and said, "I think it's a spirit. Something is luring children out into the forest and," he hesitated, eyes looking over to Dean before continuing, "Brutally murdering them."

Dean felt his hands tighten around the steering wheel; he hated cases that involved kids in some way, especially _dead_ kids. He took a moment to be glad Sam wasn't here and asked, "You seem pretty sure it's a spirit."

"I thought a demon at first, but there have been no omens in the area for nearly a hundred years, then I thought maybe it was a wood nymph of some sort, but they don't really murder people or children. Gabriel also helped me narrow it down."

"Gabriel?"

"He told me it's a spirit, but he's not sure of who or why."

"Thought archangels knew everything."

"He's busy running Heaven Dean, he can't take all the time he needs down here to help us with a case. Plus it will give us some work to do; surely you're pleased with that part?" Dean nodded, a little legwork for him, some research for Cas. Would be like old times almost, people to save and things to kill.

They stopped around three; Dean went and got them some lunch while Cas walked Grace around. They met back at the car after twenty minutes and settled back into their places, Dean driving while Cas sorted through the food. Dean ate with one eye on the road and the other on his burger, silently enjoying it while Cas did the same beside him, occasionally feeding small pieces back to Grace who had already devoured her own burger.

It was silent for a while, the only sounds coming from Cas who was happily sipping at his root beer and the radio that was playing a Led Zeppelin album. Then, "Hey! Those are _my_ curly fries Cas; you've got your own in the bag." Cas looked over to Dean; fry halfway to his mouth, eyebrows raised. Then, quite snottily said, "I don't see your name on them," and popped the fry into his mouth.

"You bastard." Dean pulled the carton of curly fries- they were the _good_ kind, properly seasoned and just the right bit spicy, to his lap, glaring at Cas as he did so. Cas, not caring about the location, simply reached over and snagged a handful before Dean could smack his hand away. Curse those still sharp reflexes.

Cas ate the stolen handful then pulled his own carton of curly fries out of the bag, happily eating them one by one. He only paused when he came across a perfectly spiraled one and studied it far more intently than it deserved.

"Cas, its food. Just eat it."

"I'm simply wondering how they got it to look like this."

"Who cares, just eat it." Cas was about to open his mouth to respond when a, "Hey guys," from the backseat interrupted him. Dean only swerved into the other lane because he seriously thought it was _Grace_ that had spoken those words, but a look in the rearview mirror revealed it to only be Gabriel.

"How many times have I told you guys not to _do_ that!" Gabriel ignored him and eyed Cas' curly fries. Dean had a triumphant moment to think, _ha, show him how it feels to have his fries stolen!_ Before Cas simply moved his carton into an easier location to share with Gabriel. Gabriel shot him a smug look, bastard had probably read his thoughts, and snagged a handful of fries. Then with a snap of his fingers, the half-full carton was suddenly brimming with more fries to be eaten.

"What do you want?" Dean snapped, glaring at the two of them as they munched happily.

"Just thought I'd say hello. Congratulate you two on becoming uncles." Dean nodded his thanks, irritation fading a little at the thought of Mary. Sweet, adorable Mary.

"Technically Dean is the only uncle; we aren't married so I have no relation to her."

"That's ridiculous Cas; you're totally going to be her second favorite uncle."

"That's why I said _technically_ Dean. And I believe I will be her _favorite_ uncle, while you will be the second favorite." Gabriel interrupted their banter with, "You guys aren't married? Why did I think you were?"

Cas shrugged and Dean muttered, "Probably because we bicker like a married couple." That earned him a roll of the eyes. Gabriel sat back in the backseat, looking suddenly put out, hand absently stroking Grace's head where it rested on his lap. Cas frowned and turned a little in his seat to look back at Gabriel and asked, "What's wrong Gabriel?"

Gabriel didn't respond for a moment, and then he sat forward again, getting a frustrated huff from Grace, and said, "You two should be married."

"Why is it so important to you?"

"Why aren't you?"

"I don't know. Other things to worry about? Pretty much already are? Too much of a hassle?" Was Dean's response while Cas simply said, "I don't care how I'm with Dean, just as long as I'm with him."

"You sound like a Hallmark card Cas." That earned him a punch on the shoulder this time.

"Well if you two are already pretty much married you might as well make it official." Both Dean and Cas frowned at Gabriel and Dean asked, returning his attention back to the road, "Why is this suddenly such a big deal for you?" Gabriel sighed, glaring at Dean as if Dean should already know the answer to this before responding with, "I want my brother to be happy, this will make him happy."

"I'm already happy Gabriel."

"It'll make you _happier_."

"Since when do you care Gabe? You weren't there when Cas _really_ needed-" Dean stopped at the look Cas shot him.

"Yeah, I know. I wasn't there when Castiel really needed a family member that wasn't a dick. Now that I'm back though, I'm going to make up for it. Cas is pretty much the only brother around that I find worth the trouble, everyone else sucks." Dean snorted; he really wasn't going to argue that fact.

Gabriel dug around in his pocket for a moment, pulled something out, dumped it into Cas' hand, and said, "I'm an archangel, and if I say you two are married you two are married. So...there." Gabriel snagged a handful of fries and leaned back in his seat, watching.

Dean felt the wheel jerk under his hands a little and the accelerator moved further down without his foot doing so, he opened his mouth to ask but Gabriel said, "Pay attention to my brother, I'll drive."

"To hell you will. Pull over." Gabriel ignored him and Dean was gearing up to yell at him when Cas caught his attention with an outstretched hand.

"Dean," in his palm were two plain, silver rings. They weren't much to look at, the edges rounded and smooth, polished silver glinting in the sunlight. Dean picked out the slightly larger ring and rolled it between his fingers. He could see, inscribed on the inside was, _Dean & Cas 8/15/13_.

"Gabriel-"

"Well go ahead, put them on then." Dean felt like there should be more to this. This shouldn't be happening while they were sitting in the Impala driving through the middle of nowhere, there should be more family here, there should be a _ceremony_ of some sort. Something to make this more normal. But he looked up as Cas slid that ring onto his own finger, looking over at Dean with a hesitant smile. Dean slid his own ring on, heard Gabriel say, "Well go on. Kiss and make it official."

Cas tasted like root beer and curly fries.

To hell with normal, Dean wouldn't have preferred this any other way.

Gabriel grinned at the two of them from his perch in the backseat and said, "To bad there wasn't a ceremony. I bet Dean would have looked _lovely_ in the latest Vera Wang."

"Oh go to-" But Gabriel was gone, Dean sighed and glared at Cas who was snickering quietly to himself.

"You can go to Hell too. How do you even know who Vera Wang is?"

"How do _you_?" Cas shot back. Well, he did have a point.

In the morning, they were seated in a diner in Columbus, an hour away from Nye. The plan was to look around where the kids were disappearing at in the forest and see if they could get anything from the area. Well, if _Cas _could get anything from the area. That was if he could stop glaring at the menu as if it had personally let him down.

"What's the matter Cas?"

"They don't have blueberry pancakes." Dean choked on his coffee while Cas continued to glare. It was early, therefore Cas was grumpy and he was waiting for the honey to be brought over for his tea.

"We're in Montana Cas."

"It's the middle of August, there should be _blueberries_."

"You're such an addict." Cas simply glared at him, and leaned back in the booth, looking like a sullen five year old. The waitress brought his honey and he busied himself with that while Dean ordered for the both of them, getting Cas regular pancakes and a blueberry muffin on the side.

"I never thought I'd get married." Dean said after their food had arrived and waitress had bounced off.

"I never thought I'd be a human."

"We're a weird pair, you know that right?"

"Perhaps that's why we work so well together."

"Sam's going to have a fit."

"He'll survive."

"He'll be pissed we did it without him. And didn't take pictures or anything." Cas put down his fork, looked over at Dean for a moment before he moved from his side of the table, and slid in beside Dean. He pulled his phone from his pocket, grabbed Dean's hand, held it up with his own, and said, "Smile." Dean managed half a smile as Cas held the phone up and out from them, snapped a picture and moved back to his side of the table, fingers busy on the keypad.

"Are you..._texting_ a picture of us with rings on our fingers to Sam?"

"Yes."

"He's going to be so pissed." Cas simply smiled at him, returned to his pancakes and said, "Finish your breakfast."

Dean was right, forty-five minutes later Sam was calling him, they'd just reached the parking lot for the state park so he managed to park and answer before it went to voicemail. Sam yelled and huffed and grumbled for ten minutes before finally saying, "Well, I'm happy for you both," and hung up.

"I feel like we're not making a big enough deal out of this." Dean said as they hiked through the woods, Grace trotting along ahead of them, pausing to sniff a tree every now and then. Cas shrugged, his eyes wandering around, probably seeing things Dean couldn't, "Would you prefer a big deal be made about it?"

"Not really. I like that it's been simple. Nothing feels like it's changed and doesn't feel like it needs to." Also helped him from freaking out. _Dean Winchester_ was a married man. That was something he had been sure would never in a million years happen to him.

"Nothing needs to change Dean."

"I know." They carried on in silence for a few minutes before Cas said, "We don't have to wear the rings either if it makes you uncomfortable." Dean glanced down at his hand, then over to Cas', "No, no I like the rings." Maybe it would keep people from hitting on Cas finally. Dean didn't know how Cas felt about it all but Dean had a jealous streak a mile wide, didn't like when waitresses and bartenders gave Cas _that_ kind of smile. Not that Cas responded or anything, but Cas was _his_. Had been his, his angel and his human.

Not that he was possessive or anything.

"How much longer until we hit where the ghost has been bringing the kids?" Cas looked around, pulled a small map of the park from his pocket and examined it for a moment.

"Not much farther, should be right over that hill." Dean eyed the distance, sighed and they continued on their trek, neither saying anything. Dean liked how he could just be with Cas without having to worry about needing to say something, could just be himself. He didn't need to worry about Cas leaving him because Dean said or did something stupid, Cas was well used to those moments by now and just went with them.

Dean knew their relationship wasn't perfect; they had their moments where they fought over stupid shit and didn't say the things that really should be said. But they also clicked; they understood each other in a way no one else would ever be able to. The really great sex was also a bonus.

"Dean."

"What?"

"Over here." He turned to see Cas had wandered off the path a bit and was standing in a clearing, Grace by his side. Dean joined them, eyes catching on the faint red splotches splattered along the ground, "Why don't they have this area marked off?"

"Small town, people know not to come out here. Families have also lost their children here; it's...not a happy place." Dean didn't know what Cas saw here, but Dean himself just felt unsettled standing here, something just felt _off. _Something he couldn't put his finger on. He watched as Cas walked around the clearing, gingerly stepping over certain spots, "Getting anything?"

"Nothing that's important or helpful really."

"So no name to make it easy." Cas shook his head, then paused with his hand resting on a tree. Dean wanted to ask if he was the tree whisperer all of a sudden, but smartly kept his mouth shut, it would only end with Cas rolling his eyes and ignoring him for the better part of the night.

"It's a little girl, that should help narrow it down."

"The tree tell you that?" Dean really needed to take a class in _keeping his mouth shut_.

"In a way. We should head back; it's going to rain soon." As if the sky had been waiting for those words thunder rumbled overhead.

"Your Jedi mind tricks still freak me out sometimes."

"Dean, it's pretty easy to tell it's going to rain soon, all you have to do is look up." Dean looked up, and sure enough, through the trees he could see the dark clouds moving in from the mountains in the distance.

"You still creep me out sometimes. With the seeing of souls and speaking to trees." Cas rolled his eyes, shook his head and said, "I'm human now Dean, you know that. What's left of my grace is just a...residue."

"I know. But not every human can see souls and sense demons and ghosts Cas. Not that I'm complaining." Dean didn't bother adding that he didn't think Cas would handle being completely _normal_ very well either, loosing that sense of what he had been, what he'd been able to do. He liked to think it kept Cas from falling into that mess of a human Dean had seen in Zachariah's future. Dean also liked to think it had to do a little with him and their relationship.

Back at the hotel Cas went straight for his laptop and newspaper articles to start working out who their spirit was. Dean contented himself with going out to get Chinese for dinner, when he returned Cas had put his headphones on and was bopping his head to a beat Dean couldn't hear, foot absently rubbing at Grace's stomach from where she was sprawled on her back underneath the table. His nose was also almost pressed into the book he was reading.

He set the food down with a sigh, went to Cas, tugged one of the earbuds out of Cas' ear, and said, "Glasses Cas."

"Huh?"

"Put your glasses on so you can read proper." Cas frowned and looked down at the book, "I can read just fine Dean."

"Dude you had your nose practically pressing into the page, put them on." Cas scowled and leaned back in the chair, arms crossed over his chest, "I don't like them."

"Too bad."

"Dean-"

"Put them on while you're reading or I'll shove them forcibly onto your face." Cas sighed and reached for his bag, pulling out the glasses Dean and Sam had practically forced him to get. Dean had to admit they made Cas look pretty hot though, even if the former angel was one of those people who put them on top of his head and then walked around complaining about not being able to find the damn things.

"Satisfied?" Cas asked, glaring at Dean over the black rims.

"Yep." He plopped a container of noodles in front of Cas, sat with his own across the table and asked, "Find anything about our mystery spirit?" Cas paused with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth, frowned and put them back into the container.

"No, the town hasn't kept very good records over the years, but it's small so there isn't much to sort through. We should know by tomorrow." He returned to his food, flipping through the pages of what Dean guessed was a history book on the town or something. Research wasn't his thing.

When they finished eating Dean leaned back in his chair with a sigh and said, "Alright, hit me with it."

A frown greeted him from across the table and a displeased grunt from Grace underneath the table as Cas' foot stopped its rubbing in his confusion.

"Tell me what's been going on with the kids and woods. I don't want to hear it but I need to know."

"From what I can tell from the newspaper articles it's only families with two children, the spirit has been leading them off into the woods, I don't know what she's been doing with them but it's always two days after they're reported missing until they're found dead."

"Great."

"I think she's having them kill each other, she's reliving something that happened to her I think. I'll know more when I find out who it is."

Dean _really_ hated cases where children were involved.

"How many kids so far?"

"Three families so far so that would be six children dead."

"Crap."

"We'll figure this out Dean."

"I know Cas, just...kids."

"I know." Dean gave Cas' hand a pat before he stood, stretched and said, "I'm gonna hit the hay. Don't stay up to late okay? You can do more research tomorrow." Cas simply looked at him like he was an idiot. Dean chose to ignore it and simply collapsed into the middle of the bed, and fell asleep listening to the sounds of Cas humming along with his music and flipping the pages of the book.

He was shaken awake several hours later, Cas calling his name to get his attention.

"What Cas? Fuck, what time is it?"

"A little after three."

"What the hell Cas?"

"Two more children have been taken."

"_Shit_."


	8. The Beginning of All Things, Part 2

They reached the park at four-fifteen, and five minutes later had loaded themselves down with shotguns, salt and a shovel. As they made their way through the darkness of the forest, Cas explained what he had found out while Dean had been sleeping.

"The spirit is Elizabeth Harper; she was seven when she was killed."

"What happened to piss her off?"

"Her and her older sister Katherine were taken from their home back when this was a mining community in the mid-1800s. It was a pair of men, they'd robbed the home and killed their parents, they brought the sisters out here, planning to rape and kill them."

"Christ."

"Obviously I can't tell you how or why it happened, but Elizabeth ended up accidentally shooting her sister while they were trying to escape. They burned Katherine's body, killed Elizabeth and buried her somewhere in the clearing where the children have been killed."

"Shit. So, will the kids that have been taken tonight be there now?"

"I don't know. I think she possesses the younger sibling in the pairs, kills the elder and then the younger when she's done. Leaves them to be found."

"Must be pretty pissed off in order to possess."

"It's only a theory. She could simply be driving them mad while she has them wandering the woods lost, lets them kill each other in the end."

"Don't need to be picturing this Cas." He heard Cas sigh in the darkness, could imagine him rubbing at his temple to ease a headache and muttered, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. How are we supposed to find her body buried out here in the dark?"

"I found an article, her one surviving family member, her aunt I believe, left a marker on one of the trees. We just have to find that and dig."

"You make it sound so easy." Cas simply shrugged, sighed again and looked around the clearing as they entered it.

"Finding the children will also be difficult, this state park isn't small." They reached the clearing and without needing to speak separated and began examining the trees, trying to find the marker that would mark where the body was buried.

"I really hope she's still buried here."

"I didn't come across anything that said she'd been moved or found." Dean simply grunted and moved on to the next tree. With the amount of trees in the small clearing, they could easily be here all damn night. Grace let out a soft whine and both swung their flashlights around to find the dog who was looking to Cas, tail wagging.

"What's that mean in Grace-speak Cas?"

"I think she found her." Dean blinked and watched as Cas examined the tree, fingers trailing over something, he looked to Dean and nodded.

"How the hell can she find a body that's been buried for a hundred and some years?" Cas stood from giving Grace her praise, took the flashlight Dean handed him and said, "She was trained to be a police dog Dean. She can sniff out bombs and drugs; I think a body would be easy for her. Dogs have an amazing sense of smell." Dean simply grunted and since it was his turn to dig, took the shovel in his hands and picked a spot to begin, Cas standing guard with his shotgun and Grace.

It was ten minutes later that Dean decided this was too easy. Salt and burns tended to not be so difficult, but the spirits had usually popped up by now, pissed that their bodies were going to be burned. Not that he was going to start complaining, no spirit meant no one being tossed into shit.

A few more minutes and the tip of his shovel was thunking against something solid, "Please don't be a tree root." Cas straightened from where he'd been leaning against a tree, and added his flashlight to the one already shining into the hole.

"Looks like bone to me."

"_Thank you_ Captain Obvious." Cas huffed out something that could have been a laugh, opened his mouth to say something to Dean but stopped when Grace's growl cut through the night air. Dean tightened his grip on the shovel and went to work on uncovering the rest of the remains while Cas stood by Grace's side, waiting. It was one of the bonuses to working with Cas, they didn't need to speak, didn't need to tell the other what to do because they already knew. Knew each other well enough to read in from how they looked or stood.

Having Grace as an alarm system was awesome too. As of now, her head was held low to the ground, ears flattened on her head and low growls rumbling up from her chest every now and then. She was terrifying compared to the blissed out dog she had been while receiving her nightly belly rub.

Dean kept his attention on his digging, slowly but surely uncovering more bones, his attention only shifted with the sound of the shotgun going off.

"You good?"

"I'm fine, keep digging." Cas had frowned at the use of guns at first, not really enjoying them since his aim pretty much _sucked._ He'd made up for it though in his knowledge of hand-to-hand and how to use his sword, which he'd somehow managed to hold on to. He was a fair match against Dean and could take him down if Dean managed to really piss him off and he used his smaller size against Sam to his advantage. Ducking and dodging until Sam was wheezing and worn out only to be taken down by Cas seconds later.

"I _do_ know how to fight; I have had thousands of years of practice after all." Cas had said, catching their surprised looks.

Another shotgun blast brought Dean's attention up again, spotted Cas reloading and Grace circling around, restless.

"She pissed?"

"How would you feel if you were about to be destroyed?"

"I'll take that as a yes." They fell into a tense silence, the only sound coming from the shovel scraping against the dirt. They both jumped when a scream echoed through the trees and was abruptly cut off, "What the hell was that?"

"One of the children I think." Cas whispered, giving a signal to Grace that Dean didn't recognize and she was off like a shot into the night. Of course that was when little Elizabeth herself decided to make an appearance directly behind Cas.

"Cas!" He was already turning, bringing the shotgun up and firing as he was tossed through the air and meeting a tree with a grunt. Dean hauled himself out of the shallow grave, hoping he had enough uncovered, "Cas you okay?"

There was another grunt and then, "I'm fine." In went the salt, the lighter fluid, "Cas-"

"I'm fine, just finish it." Dean dug out his lighter, flicked it open and there was Elizabeth across from him, in went the lighter and up in flames the little bitch went. He let out a sigh then promptly turned and went over to Cas who was sitting against the tree he'd been thrown into, one hand on his side.

"How bad?"

"Just bruised."

"Let me see."

"I'm fine, it's just bruised Dean." Dean swatted away Cas' hand away and lifted up his shirt. Cas hurt was one thing Dean would never get used to; Cas had always been indestructible to Dean. The man had been shot, stabbed and thrown through walls and could still keep on going, so seeing him tossed into a tree or clobbered by a demon still took some getting used to.

Dean gently prodded the dark bruise that was already forming on Cas' side and said, "Nothing cracked, just bruised."

"Just as I said." Cas muttered, getting to his feet when Dean let him.

"Yeah, whatever. Where'd you send Grace?"

"See if she could find the kids, nothing she could have done here." Dean sighed and looked around and said, "Go find her, I'll finish up here and catch up."

"Dean-"

"Go on Cas, bitch is toast, I'll be good." Cas nodded, hesitated then turned and disappeared in the direction Grace had gone. Dean turned back towards the grave, watching the flames for a moment before grabbing his shovel and tossing the dirt back in. He hadn't had to dig too deep thankfully so in a few minutes he was gathering his flashlight off the ground and heading off in the direction Cas and Grace had disappeared into.

Then it started to rain. Again.

"You've got to be kidding me." It was raining hard too, Dean was quickly soaked and left shivering despite the fact it was August and it was supposed to be warm out, not this cold nearly freezing rain. He had a jacket at least, Cas was stuck out here in his t-shirt and jeans, and he really didn't need to be getting sick again.

"Cas!"

"Here, Dean." Dean couldn't help but jump a little, Cas and his sneaky ninja powers were in order tonight it seemed. Dean turned and opened his mouth to yell a little, frustrated that they were stuck out in the rain and kids were missing, but there was Cas, a little girl clinging to him much like a monkey would to a tree.

She was also covered in mud, and what appeared to be blood.

"Cas-"

"Her sister is dead."

"Did she-" Cas' arms tightened around the girl a little and whispered, "Yes. We need to get out of here." Dean nodded, he could see her shivering, could see the small trembles of Cas trying to fight his own shivering. Grace was pressed to his legs, looking up at Dean with a look that could have been accusing. Like it was his fault Cas had left his jacket at the motel, claiming he would be fine. Not like either of them knew it would start raining.

"Yeah. We need to get the cops involved now I guess, with them supposed to be missing." Cas nodded and they both headed back to where the Impala was parked, Grace sticking close to them this time instead of wandering off like she had before.

They settled into the car when they reached it, both Cas and the little girl in the passenger seat, Cas having given up on trying to detach her when it was clear she did not intend to do so.

"Do you know anything about her?" Cas let out a sigh and slouched down in his seat a little, one hand constantly stroking her back, trying his best to soothe her.

"Her name is Sophie. She's four. That's all." Dean nodded and chewed on his lip then said, "We'll head back to the hotel, get cleaned up, warmed up and in the morning we'll talk to the cops."

The rest of the ride was silent, by the time they reached the hotel the sun was beginning to brighten the dark clouds overhead. Cas headed straight for the bathroom with Sophie still clutching at him, face hidden against his neck. Dean sat in one of the chairs and waited while the shower turned on in the bathroom.

He spent his time staring at Grace, who simply stared back.

"I think you know you're a pretty dog and you use it to your advantage. Don't you?" She didn't blink or twitch or anything. She was a good looking dog though, not colored like most German Shepherds. Mostly black with tan legs, tan belly and a white splotch amongst the black of her chest.

"Are you even a dog? Cause you're pretty, ridiculously smart." Dean knew it was a load of crap, in his paranoia he'd run the tests on her before he'd given her to Cas on that Christmas morning. A small nick with a silver knife, holy water to drink from her bowl. They'd even gone so far as to personalize her collar. A silver plate on the outside with her name and Cas' cell phone number, not that she'd ever run off without Cas around. On the underside, another silver plate that Bobby had inscribed with the sigils Cas had given to him. She was protected from possession and hidden from demons and angels much like Dean and Sam were with the sigils carved into their ribs.

"You've been spoiled." Grace huffed at him and her attention went to the bathroom door as it opened, Cas coming out in wet boxers and Sophie bundled up in one of the big towels the hotel had.

"She gave me her address. It was only her, her sister and her grandmother." Cas gently set her down on the bed, Sophie too drowsy and warm to protest apparently and wrote it down for Dean.

"I'll go now."

"Dean-"

"It's okay Cas. Stay here with her; you've been up all night. I'll come back with breakfast." Cas hesitated for a moment, then turned and looked back at Sophie. Dean could just see the cogs in that head turning, Cas' protective nature coming out full force. Finally, he nodded and said, "Okay."

Dean resisted the urge to tell Cas not to get attached, he knew it was too late already, saw it in the way he looked at Sophie. Dean knew this was what Cas wanted, Cas wanted a family of his own now, Dean had seen that want and longing in his eyes the moment he had held Mary. Saw it whenever they were over at Sam's and Cas would put Mary down for sleep, holding her close and singing to her in the dead languages that only Cas knew.

It was Dean who wasn't ready for this, he'd always wanted a family, but he was happy with what he had. Bringing a kid into their lives meant giving up hunting and Dean wasn't ready for that yet. Sure they could drop her off at Bobby's, but he didn't want to be like his dad, didn't want to just drop his children off and go on a hunt. Leave them wondering if their parents would return. He and Cas could easily be injured and killed on a hunt, then what?

He settled himself into the Impala and headed for the address Cas had written down for him. It was a small town so it wasn't hard to find, he only had three streets to choose from in the first place. Dean came to a stop a few houses down from the proper address, several people were milling around the police cars and the ambulance that were parked in front.

"Well, this can't be good." He got out of the car and headed for the nearest person, asking, "What happened?"

"Patty had a stroke not long after the news of her grandkids being reported missing." Dean assumed Patty was the grandmother and screwed up his face in what he hoped was sympathy; this was what Sam was always good for, not Dean.

"What'll happen to the kids if they're found?"

"Well, Patty won't be able to take care of them, and they've got no other family so they'd end up in the system is my guess."

Well that was just great. Dean would end up being the asshole in this situation, he just knew it.

He nodded to the nosey neighbor and headed back for the Impala, stopping to get breakfast on his way back as he'd promised. Pancakes with eggs and bacon for all of them. He didn't know a kid that didn't like pancakes; hopefully she would be up for eating them.

When he returned to the room it was to Cas, Sophie and Grace all curled together in the middle of the bed. Cas had curled around Sophie who was pressed into his chest, snuggled in close and drooling a little onto his shirt. Grace had her head resting on Sophie's hip and Cas' hand was on top of her head, like he'd conked out in the middle of petting her. Cas shifted in his sleep a little when Dean quietly closed the door behind him, Sophie murmured a protest and tried to move closer to Cas, like she was trying to burrow in under his skin.

Dean couldn't blame her; Cas was an excellent thing to snuggle up to, especially with all the heat he put out. When he turned back to the bed after putting the food on the table, he found Cas watching him, eyes barely focused and a little red rimmed.

"Hey." Dean sat on the bed, rested his hand on Cas' knee while Cas yawned and attempted to stretch without really moving.

"What did you find out?"

"Um," Cas really wasn't going to like any of this, "Her grandmother had a stroke, so if Sophie were to be 'found' she'd be put into the system since there's no one else to care for her." Dean was right; Cas didn't like it all judging by the way his brow furrowed and eyes darkened.

"Cas-"

"We can't let that happen Dean."

"Cas-"

"Don't you 'Cas' me. You know I'm right. With everything she's been through simply going into a foster home where the people don't understand, it would damage her beyond repair. They think she's just a little girl who lost her sister in the woods. They wouldn't understand what she's been through, wouldn't be able to explain to her, wouldn't be able to help her understand how or why she _killed_ her own sister."

"She's young Cas, she won't remember it."

"Like hell she won't. She's _traumatized_. She'd grow up miserable and angry at the world for not having any answers for her. No answers that would fit from what she could remember." Dean sighed and turned away from that intense blue gaze. He hated this, hated being the asshole in the situation but it was just something he wasn't ready for yet. They'd just gotten _married; _he hadn't even adjusted to that yet. Hadn't adjusted to how easily he'd gone with it, how sure he felt about it. They couldn't just bring a stray kid home with them.

"Dean. Please."

"Cas I can't. It's. It's too soon."

"Too soon." He turned back around and found Cas staring at him, eyebrows raised, "Really Dean. That's the best you can come up with?" Dean felt that little spark of anger flare up in him, "Cas we just got _married_ for Christ's sake. Don't you think we should I don't know, settle into that a little first?"

"Yes. I do," Dean felt that 'but' coming up and kept his mouth shut, "We can't just let her go. We'd both feel horrible about it, knowing we could be helping her come to terms with everything that happened. We're both just going to have to get over it." They stared at each other for a while. Dean _knew_ Cas was right, the moment Sophie was turned over into the care of the state he'd feel that familiar guilt well up inside of him. This was someone he could help, "_Fuck_, fine. I'll call Bobby and he can forge up some adoption papers."

The smile that lit up Cas' face _almost_ banished the tight feeling of fear inside of Dean. He felt his whole world was spinning and changing too fast, without his permission. Seeing Cas though, who had used to be so _awkward_ in his own skin, so unsure of what to do or what to say, seeing him so sure of himself while he took care of Sophie pretty much made up for it.

"I sure hope you know what you're doing Cas, 'cause I sure as hell don't." Cas simply smiled up at him, holding Sophie closer to his chest, "I think we're just making it up as we go Dean."


	9. The Beginning of All Things, Part 3

They decided to leave later in the afternoon, giving both Dean and Cas some more time to sleep, Sophie still hadn't woken up but they figured she needed as much sleep as possible. After checking out and getting settled in the car, Sophie curled up in between the two of them on the front seat Cas said, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Dean glanced away from the road looking over to Cas who was slouched down to where his head was resting against the back of his seat, head turned towards Dean.

"Not really giving you a choice."

"It's okay Cas. You were right about everything. It's just...my own fears you know?"

"I know. That's why I'm sorry." Dean shook his head, reached over Sophie and squeezed Cas' shoulder, "You don't need to be." Cas looked down at Sophie and rested his hand on top of her head, stroking her dark curls, "Neither of us is really ready for this."

"You're ready Cas. You've been doing great with her so far."

"But you're not. Ready that is."

"I'll learn to deal Cas." Cas let out a frustrated sigh and grumbled, "You shouldn't have to, Dean. That's why I'm apologizing, I pushed you into this and you're not ready and I'm hardly ready, I've only been human for three years and here I am rushing headlong into-"

"Stop, Cas. Seriously. It's okay. You know I've always wanted kids so that's not an issue. Just wanted to wait another few years maybe, enjoy the married life." He shot Cas a smile and got a scowl in return, "Maybe we could find someone else, explain her situation and-"

"No."

"Dean."

"We're keeping her Cas okay? I know you want this, know you don't want to let her go. We'll both learn and get used to it and figure it out okay? Life rarely goes as you plan anyway." When silence greeted him Dean glanced over to the passenger seat, Cas was looking down at Sophie, still stroking her hair and chewing on his bottom lip.

"Okay, Cas?" Cas nodded, sighed and said, "We don't even have anything for her. No clothes, no toys, not even a room."

"Easily fixed. Except maybe the room part." They fell into silence, Dean guessed neither of them would like her down in the guestroom, it was too set off from the rest of the house, too far away from Dean and Cas in case something went wrong.

"What about the 'storage' room?" Cas asked.

"Little small isn't it?" The 'storage' room had originally been a bedroom when they had bought the house. It had been the first office while the office of now had been Sam's room when he lived there, while Dean had had what was now his and Cas' room while Cas had been downstairs in the guestroom. After Sam had moved out and Dean and Cas started their relationship, they'd changed things around and that smallest room had been filled with random things they didn't really use but was for the most part empty.

"She is pretty small herself. I don't think she'll mind. When she gets older we can think of giving her the guestroom." Dean nodded, "Okay then. When we stop for dinner, I'll call Sam and ask him to head over and empty it out for us and call Bobby and ask him to get some furniture or something. We'll figure it out Cas."

"I know Dean."

"You know, she kind of looks like you too." Cas frowned and looked down at Sophie and asked, "You think so?"

"Yeah." They both had the same hair, the dark brown that in some light looked black and in others reddish-brown. Where Cas' was just a bit wavy Sophie's curled and from what Dean had seen of her earlier he'd noticed her blue eyes. Similar to the color of Cas' but not quite there. Dean didn't think anyone would ever match the color of Cas' eyes; they were too blue, too bright. Not even Jimmy had the same eyes and they were perfect clones. The shape of her lips and nose was also similar, almost like someone had planned for her to drop into their lives.

Hell, the way things worked out for them, someone probably had.

When dinnertime rolled around Dean found them a respectable looking diner, he got out of the car, letting Cas wake Sophie up so he could call Sam and Bobby and get them moving.

Neither really said anything about Cas and Dean suddenly coming into possession of a little girl, but Bobby agreed to get some papers going for them and to get a bed, desk and dresser for the room.

Dean returned to the car to find Cas was in his own conversation on the phone, Sophie leaning against his leg blinking sleepy eyes around the parking lot while Grace wandered around to do her business. Dean stood by Cas, saw Sophie looking up at him so he gave her a gentle smile. In response, she hugged Cas' leg tighter and pressed her face against Cas' hip. He couldn't help the smile that came along when Cas, apparently not noticing what he was doing, moved his arm to make room for her along his side and rested a hand on her shoulder.

He heard Cas sigh and say, "Jimmy don't be stupid, you know you're welcome to visit whenever you want." Dean chuckled and leaned back against the Impala. When Jimmy had gotten over his anger at being possessed for three years and blown up twice he'd pretty much embraced the idea of having a brother, a twin no less. Dean was constantly walking in on phone conversations between the two, arguing over who was supposedly the older twin. Jimmy thought it should be himself since he'd been human longer while Cas thought he was entitled since he was thousands of years older in the first place.

Cas ended his phone call, turned to Dean, and said, "Jimmy is going to send us some of Claire's clothes that she's grown out of."

"That's nice of him." Cas nodded his agreement and looked down at Sophie, "Sophie would you like something to eat?" Sophie looked up at Cas, blinked then went back to hiding against his hip. Dean knelt down to her height, rested a hand on her back and said, "Don't worry. Me and Cas? We won't let anything happen to you." She glanced at Dean, then up to Cas who smiled and nodded, "Nothing will happen to you while we're around."

Sophie was quiet for a moment, looking back and forth between the two then asked in a quiet, shy voice, "Promise?"

"We promise. Now how about some food? I need to get you into some pie appreciation classes." She shot Dean a small smile, still clinging to Cas' leg who shot his own smile to Dean then pulled the small flashlight from his pocket and blinked it a few times in Grace's direction who came bounding over, settling against Cas' other side.

"Why is it that everything attaches to you?" Cas looked down at Grace and Sophie, shrugged and said, "I'm surprised actually. I thought Sophie would be more attached to you than me since you're better with children."

"Cas you do fine with kids."

"You only say that because the only children I've had extensive exposure to is Mary and now Sophie." Dean hummed and they turned and headed for the diner entrance, Sophie between them, Grace trotting along ahead and stopping by the door, sitting down to wait when Cas gave her the signal to do so.

Dinner went without much excitement; Sophie enjoyed her chicken nuggets while both Dean and Cas inhaled their burgers. Over dessert, Dean tried to convert Sophie to the ways of cherry pie while Cas tried to bring her to the blueberry pie side. In the end, she enjoyed the apple the most, but hearing her giggle over their arguing over which pie was better made it completely worth it.

For that small amount of time the haunted look had left her eyes, she hadn't been clingy, shy, or fearful. She'd actually laughed and acted like a four year old was supposed to act, had even gotten into an argument with Cas about which color crayon was best suited to play tic-tac-toe with. Sophie delighted in the fact that she had beat Cas at the game multiple times, even though Dean knew from experience that Cas dominated strategy games of any kind. Dean, Sam and Cas had played Risk several years ago, back when Cas had still been an angel and he'd ended up dominating the world in a few hours.

Sam had been shocked, Dean had just been happy someone was finally able to beat Sam at the damn game.

"Ready to go?" At Sophie's nod, they were back in the Impala and on the road once more, Dean planned to make it back home sometime in the early morning if they didn't stop.

"Before we hit home we'll need to go do some shopping." Dean said, watching as Sophie slowly listed to the side, eyes drooping shut against her will.

"We didn't even ask her if she'd like to stay with us." Cas muttered, rearranging himself into an acceptable pillow for Sophie.

"I think if you asked her she'd say she wants to Cas." They fell into silence and when Dean glanced over at Cas again he was conked out, head leaning against the window. Dean shook his head and muttered, "Fill you up with blueberry pie and you're out for the count." Cas grumbled something that was probably an insult to Dean's intellect but didn't stir beyond that.

Dean hated Wal-Mart. Hated how crowded it was and how fake happy the employees were, he liked how cheap everything was, but Wal-Mart closely resembled Hell on Earth. Too crowded, too busy, too many stupid people who stopped in the middle of the aisle when clearly there were _other_ people walking around as well.

From the look on Cas' face Cas felt the same, he vaguely looked like he wished he were an angel again so he could smite every Wal-Mart off the face of the Earth. Dean had been tempted for them to split up to get the things for Sophie and get out of there in record time. He knew though if he sent Cas off with Sophie they'd end up taking the whole of the toy department back home with them.

Before they'd come in Cas had asked Sophie if she minded coming to live with them, she'd asked about her grandmother and Dean had explained how she'd gotten sick and wouldn't be able to take care of Sophie anymore. Sophie had thought about it, nodded and said, "Okay," taken Cas' hand and had dragged him towards the entrance of Wal-Mart.

The three headed for the little girls section and set Sophie loose, letting her pick whatever she wanted. Dean was just hoping she wasn't one of those princesses, pink and purple are the best kind of girl. He didn't think he'd be able to survive years of that. Thankfully, though she shied away from the dresses and went for things like jeans and t-shirts that were white, black, blue and green. She picked out some hoodies and scoffed at another little girl that was picking out Dora the Explorer shoes and went for the Converses herself.

"We've picked up a little punk child it seems." Dean muttered, watching the pile of clothes in the cart grow. Cas frowned at the term and asked, "Is that a bad thing?"

"Dude no way. I'd rather have a tomboy than a princess. Sam is a big enough one for me." Cas shot him a sidelong look and went to help Sophie pick out the proper shoe size, sitting cross-legged on the floor while receiving a lecture from Sophie on how to pick out the right size. It seemed to be recited from memory, someone telling her how it was done and Cas listened with his usual intensity.

It brought back memories of how Cas had listened to Dean when Dean explained how to shave, tie a knot in his tie, do laundry and many other things that came with being human.

They continued on their way through the store, stopping to get some sheets for the bed, a desk light and alarm clock. Sophie paused by the picture frames, frowned and whispered, "I don't have any of my pictures." Dean and Cas frowned at each other, then Cas pulled his phone from his pocket and went about sending a text.

"What are you doing?"

"Asking Gabriel to get some of her things from her grandmother's house."

"If he can do that then why the hell are we wandering around Wal-Mart with a cart full of new clothes?" Sophie answered Dean's question by saying, "I don't like my old clothes. Grandma made me wear _dresses_ and pink and frilly things. She said I needed to dress more like a girl 'cause I'm a girl and not a boy. I _know_ I'm not a boy but I don't like girly things." Dean blinked at her and she frowned up at him, face falling into a pout, "Please don't make me put them back."

"Okay, we won't. We've already gone through the trouble of choosing anyway." She nodded, pleased and they continued on, Cas glancing at his phone as the response came through, "Gabriel will bring some things to the house next week when he has some time."

"Sounds good."

They rounded off their purchases with a few new board games, some other toys Sophie seemed interested in, and despite her protests that she was a 'big girl' a stuffed frog Cas had found her staring longingly at. She seemed quietly pleased to have the stuffed animal, but too shy to admit she liked it in the first place. Dean remembered himself at that age, wanting something badly, but not asking for it, thinking he needed to act more grown up, more responsible. He didn't want Sophie to think those things; he wanted her to have a childhood.

There was still a several hour drive ahead of them and Dean spent it listening to Led Zeppelin, Sophie dozed off with her head on Cas' shoulder and Cas had his headphones on, the music blaring. Dean didn't bother him, knowing Cas was just looking for a little time to himself, to think, to gather up his thoughts and adjust to the suddenness of their situation.

An hour out from home he heard Sophie ask Cas, "What are you listening to?"

"He can't hear you." Sophie looked over to Dean, then back to Cas who was staring out the window, his eyes glazed over, mind elsewhere.

"Go ahead and give him a good poke, he'll come back." Sophie smiled and proceeded to poke Cas right where he was ticklish. Dean grinned at the startled huff that came from Cas, then Cas was rejoining them, pulling his headphones off and asking, "Yes?"

"I wanted to know what you're listening to." Cas watched her for a moment then asked, "What kind of music do you like?"

"I like what's playing. Haley, my sister, she used to let me listen to the radio sometimes when Grandma was asleep. I didn't like the same things she liked." Dean was in love with this child already, she didn't like princesses, didn't like pink frilly things and she _liked Led Zeppelin_.

"You'll fit in just fine with us kid." Dean told her, smiling when she glanced over at him. She gave him another shy smile, then frowned and turned back to Cas and asked, "You still haven't answered my question. What do _you_ like?" Dean added 'tough as nails' to his list of good things about little Sophie. Cas simply smiled and said, "I like all sorts of different music. Right now though I'm listening to my special playlist. It helps me think, clears my head and makes it easier to work."

Dean knew that playlist well. He'd come home many times to it blaring over the speakers in the office, Cas' head bouncing along to the beat while he wrote an article or worked on some translation that he found difficult to focus on. Dean didn't really mind it, it was filled with mostly hard rock songs, all with good beats that you could move along to, something to sing along with as well.

"Can I listen?" Sophie asked, perking up.

"We can all listen. Go ahead and plug it in Cas, most of your music isn't all bad like Sam's." Cas rolled his eyes but pulled the god-awful contraption Sam had bought years ago out from under the seat. It was plugged in and the iPod was placed into the cradle and soon the sounds of Cas' music was filling the car. The last hour of the drive was spent with the music shaking the windows, Cas and Sophie singing along and Cas answering Sophie when she asked, "What's this song called?"

Sam was waiting for them when Dean pulled into the driveway, he smiled and waved at them as they piled out of the car, Sophie was reduced to clutching Grace's collar and hiding behind Cas' legs when she spotted Sam. Sam approached, knelt down, looked around Cas' legs, and said, "Hi, Sophie. I'm Sam, Dean's little brother." Sophie peeked from around her hiding spot, gave Sam a critical look then finally said, "You're not very little."

There was a silence and then Cas laughed which caused Dean to laugh and Sam to roll his eyes at both of them.

"I've been telling him that for years Sophie. Don't worry about Sam though, he likes princesses and things so I bet you can kick his ass." Sam rolled his eyes and Cas gave Dean a dirty look for saying 'ass' around little ears and Grace just looked like she wished Sophie would stop touching her.

Sam helped them carry in their bags, they gave Sophie the tour of the house and then she went with Cas to the kitchen to start dinner while Dean and Sam stayed upstairs to unload everything. Bobby had gone through with everything and a nice bedroom set was waiting, the bed, dresser and desk matching with their dark, heavy wood. It would last Sophie awhile, which Dean was glad for.

"So..."

"Don't even start Sam."

Ignoring his warning Sam asked, "You ready for all this?" Sam was giving him a _look _so Dean had no other choice but to respond with, "Not really, but we'll be okay I think. She's a sweet kid, freakin' perfect for us." They were interrupted by a thud from downstairs, a startled shout from Cas, another thud and silence. Dean and Sam exchanged looks, "That can't be good."

By the time they reached the bottom of the stairs the sound of hysterical laughter was coming from the kitchen, so they headed in that direction and paused in the doorway to the mess that awaited.

"What the hell happened?" Dean asked, mashed potatoes were spread _everywhere_. It was like a mashed potato massacre had happened. Sophie clamped a hand over her mouth, stifling her laughter while Cas managed to calm himself long enough to say, "Sophie forgot to turn off the beater when she pulled it from the bowl of potatoes."

Sure enough, the mess was mostly centered around the bowl, bits stuck to the counters and window, even on the _ceiling_. Both Cas and Sophie were covered in the stuff too. Sam chuckled from behind Dean and Dean shook his head, wondering how long it would take to get all the potatoes off everything.

Cas and Sophie glanced at each other and promptly collapsed into another fit of hysterical laughter. Dean felt the corners of his mouth tug up at the sound, Cas rarely laughed as it was and Sophie needed it after everything she'd been through. The sounds of their laughter filled up something that had been empty inside of Dean; the fear that had been there was quickly banished.

This was something he could get used to.

Minus the mess.


	10. You Can Make Me Whole

It happens when Dean's back is turned; he's busy paying the guy behind the register for their fresh blueberries, tomatoes and watermelon. He doesn't know what sets it off or why it happens, but he hears Cas yell, "Grace, _no_!" There's the sound of a car horn blaring, tires squealing and a sickening _thud_.

Dean's heart crashes to the ground when he hears Cas' anguished scream, a sound that will haunt Dean's dreams for a long time, and he's turning to see Cas running for the road where Grace, shit, _Grace_ is sprawled.

"Shit." He's dropping his change, the bag of fruit and racing to where Cas has fallen to his knees and is pulling Grace's head into his lap. Dean comes to a stop a few feet away, he can hear the dogs labored breathing, the strangled whine, the claws scrabbling for purchase against the asphalt. Just like that, Dean _knows_ it isn't good; there won't be help in time for her.

The car that hit her is off to the side, a man climbing out of the driver's seat muttering, "I didn't even see her, Christ she just came out of nowhere." Dean ignores him, focused on how Cas is gently rocking back and forth, Grace's head clutched in his hands whispering, "Not Grace, please not Gracie, not her please. Please. _Please_."

"Cas."

"Don't."

"Cas-"

"_Dean. Don't_." Cas sounds so broken, wrecked. Dean just wants to pull him away from Grace, apologize repeatedly, and try to hold Cas together. Dean steps forward, rests his hand on Cas' trembling shoulder and gets it shrugged off.

"We have to...we need to get her help." Dean places his hand on Cas' shoulder, trying again. He knows Cas knows how bad it is, that no matter what they do Grace is gone, too broken to fix. He also knows Cas is ignoring it, pretending it's not as bad as it is, making himself believe it'll be okay. Dean knows the feeling, remembers he did the same with Sam, tried to tell himself Sam was only sleeping.

Grace whines again, straining against the hold Cas has on her, trying to turn her head to comfort him in the only way she knows how. She knows her master is unhappy, knows he needs this comfort and she's fighting to give it to Cas when she's slipping away. Dean's vision blurs, his eyes sting and Cas is looking up at him, his eyes pleading for Dean to _do something_.

So Dean does the only thing he can.

"_Gabriel_!" The archangel _has_ to come; this can't be one of those times where he doesn't show for hours or weeks, popping in long after the problem is dealt with. But he's there, directly in front of Dean, mouth open to no doubt spout some snarky comment, but it falls shut and his eyes fall to his brother.

"Oh, Cas."

"Gabriel." Cas has turned his pleading look to his brother, Gabriel's hand rests against the back of Cas' neck and he's looking so _sorry_, but there has to be something he can do. He can heal Grace and this can all just be a nightmare, they can go on with their sunny day, continue their drive with the windows rolled down and the music loud.

"Cas, you know the rules. I can't." Dean feels his hands curl into fists, _rules_, since when has Gabriel cared for rules. He's getting ready to tear into the archangel, but Cas is ahead of him, clutching Gabriel's shirt, "_Please_, brother."

"Cas-"

"I have _never_ asked anything of you. I have forgiven you_ for everything. _Just do this one thing I ask of you Gabriel. For once, _please_."

"Castiel, you know-"

"Bend the rules! Break them! When have you ever cared? You're in charge now Gabriel! There's no one stopping you but yourself!" Cas is shaking Gabriel, clutching and shaking with tears streaming down his cheeks and Dean doesn't know what to do.

Gabriel sighs, closes his eyes and rests his hand against Grace's side, "If I get in any sort of trouble I'm bringing it down on your head Cas." Dean can hear from where he's standing, the easier breathing, she's no longer struggling or slipping away, simply laying there as if she's wondering what the fuck just happened.

Cas breaks the silence by launching himself fully at Gabriel, wrapping his arms around his brother and whispering a litany of thank yous while the tears continue to fall. Gabriel hesitates for a moment, then he's for once returning the hug, not looking awkward or uncomfortable.

"I gotcha bro, its okay." Not knowing what else to do Dean turns to find to the driver, to tell him to go. When he returns to the brothers and Grace, Gabriel is looking up at him with regret in his eyes and whispering, "I have to go." If at all possible, Cas tightens his hold.

"Cas. Castiel, I'm sorry but I have to go." Dean kneels behind Cas, putting a hand on his back, urging him away from Gabriel. Cas finally lets go, looks lost for a moment before Dean's pulling him in and Cas is going, burrowing his way into Dean's shoulder through the layers.

"Take care of him." Dean simply nods and Gabriel is gone in a flutter. Dean can feel the slight tremors racing through Cas, can feel where Cas' hands are curling into the soft flannel of his overshirt. He knows what to do now; he knows how to fix _this_.

"It's okay Cas, everything's okay now." He gently rubs the length of Cas' back, feeling the tremors lessen and disappear; he's coming down off the rush of fear, that spike of adrenaline. Dean would sit here with him all day if he could, but they're sitting outside of a fruit stand on the side of the road, which thankfully isn't busy, but there are still a few people watching.

Grace is suddenly there, pressing her cold nose to Cas' cheek as if she's asking Cas if he's okay. Cas' hand comes up, strokes her head and curls into the thick fur around her neck. Dean tightens his hold and whispers, "So much for those fresh blueberries huh?" Cas makes a sound that's caught between a laugh and a sob.

"I just want to go home now Dean. Please."

"Yeah, of course." They slowly get to their feet, Cas somehow never losing his hold on Grace. Dean gets him and Grace settled into the backseat, has a moment to roll his eyes as Grace tries to climb her way into Cas' lap despite her size and then he's driving home.

It's late when they crawl through the front door; their plan had been for a weekend at the lake, just him and Cas, Grace too of course, before the weather went cold. Sam looks a little shocked to see them coming through the door, he and Sarah had offered to stay for the weekend and watch over Sophie. He takes one look at Cas, sees the dried tear streaks the new hole in his jeans over his knee and asks, "What happened?"

They both watch as Cas plods into the living room, collapsing on the floor in front of the couch, curling around Grace when she settles beside him. Dean knows he's probably feeling numb now, worn out from the tears and emotions he hasn't ever dealt with yet.

"I'll tell you tomorrow."

"Everything's okay though right?"

"Yeah Sam, everything's okay." Sam nods, hesitates before squeezing Dean's shoulder and disappearing into the guestroom. Dean wanders around downstairs for a while, not entirely sure what to do. He thought about making Cas some tea, then banished the idea. Considered getting a strong drink for himself but he doesn't really feel it, so he settles for leaning against the doorframe into the living room. Cas has his hand resting against Grace's chest, over her heart; his breaths have steadied and evened out.

He's so focused on just watching Cas that he nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears, "Daddy?" Sophie is standing behind him on the stairs, eyes foggy with sleep, her stuffed frog clutched to her chest.

"Hey, what are you doing up?" She shrugs and comes to stand by Dean, wrapping her arm around his leg. She frowns at the sight of Cas and Grace on the floor and asks, "Papa okay?" Dean will never get over how _adorable_ it is to think of Cas as 'Papa'. Sophie had thought it up by herself, claiming that it was confusing to call them both dad or daddy and started calling Cas Papa while Dean was Daddy. It always made his heart clench up in his chest a little bit.

"Yeah, he's fine. Just a bit of a stressful day is all." Sophie frowns again, resting her head against his hip. Dean quite suddenly knows what Cas needs.

"Hey, why don't you go lay down with him, I think he'd really like that right now." She nods and let's go of Dean; she's always been more attached to Cas. Dean doesn't know if it's just because of how Cas is with his leftover grace or if it's just because he was the one that was there when Sophie had lost everything. He'd been the one soothing her, protecting her; a bond does tend to form after all that.

Cas' eyes open when Sophie presses a gentle hand onto his shoulder, a small smile lights his face when he sees her and scoots away from Grace a little, making a space for Sophie to crawl into. She happily does so, pressing into Cas' chest and tucking her head up underneath his chin. After a few minutes her breathing evens out into sleep and Cas presses a kiss to her forehead. He looks up, catches Dean's eye, and gives another small smile.

Dean's heart feels like it's about to burst out of his chest. This is his family now. Cas, Sophie and Grace. How he managed to deserve something like this, how he managed to hold on to it all is beyond Dean's understanding.

"Dean, stop being antisocial." He smiles at Cas and goes to join them on the floor, leaning back against the couch and resting a hand on Cas' leg.

"You doing okay Cas?"

"Yes," his eyes close, "That was an experience I don't wish to repeat." Dean squeezes Cas' leg and whispers, "You won't have to Cas. Not for a long time okay?" Dean notices how Cas' fingers tighten in Grace's fur for a moment before his hand moves and gently strokes the soft curls of Sophie's hair.

"If that's how I react with Grace, I'd hate to see how I react to losing you Dean."

"You saying you love me more than Grace? I hadn't thought that possible." The look Cas gives Dean would probably have turned Dean to ash if at all possible.

"Don't you worry about that either Cas. I'm not going anywhere, not ever." Cas chuckles quietly before saying, "We all die eventually Dean."

"Yeah well, it ain't gonna happen for a long damn time. Same for you. We're gonna go out together as old farts, then we'll meet up in Heaven and you'll be all angelfied again and we'll cause chaos all over Heaven. Give Gabriel a taste of his own medicine."

"That...sounds nice Dean."

"It's the truth, you'll see."

"Of course." Dean finds himself absently stroking the length of Cas' solid thigh before muttering, "I'm sorry you had to experience this Cas."

"It had to happen eventually."

"I'm still sorry."

"It wasn't your fault."

"Cas-"

"It's okay Dean. I'm okay. I had you there after all."

"And Gabriel."

"Yes. I had my family there to look after me. That's all I could ask for." They fall into silence again, Dean's fingers still running over the soft denim, Cas' hand stilling it's movements through Sophie's hair when she stirs a little.

"I think she can hear."

"What?"

"Grace, I think she can hear now." To prove his point Cas snaps his fingers by Grace's ear, which...twitches.

"Holy shit." Grace turns to look at Cas, looking slightly annoyed at being disturbed by his noise.

"I think Gabriel healed that as well when he healed her other injuries."

"That's...that's pretty awesome Cas." Cas nods and Dean moves to lay behind him, draping an arm over his waist, hand resting against Sophie's back. Cas settles back against him with a soft sigh, eyes drifting shut.

"You know we're going to regret sleeping on the floor in the morning right? We're too old for this shit." Cas hums his agreement but neither makes a point to move. Dean smiles a little, pressing a kiss to the back of Cas' neck before he drifts off. He's totally okay with this being his family.

He's right though. They both regret sleeping on the floor when they wake up in the morning.


	11. The Greatest Thing That Can Happen

**Scoobert0 **made some art for this one too!

You know the drill with the spaces.

scoobert0. deviantart. com/ gallery/ 29011305#/ d3b7f62

* * *

><p>Dean's not sure when it is that he started falling in love with Cas, he knows it didn't just happen overnight, but he doesn't remember when exactly it started. He thinks maybe he realizes what that warmth in his chest means when he's showing Cas how to fall asleep for the first time. It's after the dust had settled and Lucifer was locked back in his cage and Cas was there, somehow brought back to life and asking if it was okay if he stayed with Sam and Dean for a while.<p>

Sam had asked how long 'awhile' was and Cas had responded with a quiet, "As long as it takes." It took a while for them to realize 'it' was how long it took Cas' now human life to run its course. Dean had wanted to hit Cas, ask him how he could give up Heaven for all this. He didn't deserve Cas' loyalty, faith, and friendship. Cas deserved to be in Heaven with his brothers, deserved to keep his wings and that power.

Cas didn't deserve to be lying on a hard bed in a cheap motel room; Sam snoring on the bed next to the one Dean and Cas were sharing. Dean had been leaning against the headboard, pillows piled behind him, not really watching the TV but watching as Cas tossed and turned beside him.

"Would you sit still and go to sleep already?" Cas had rolled onto his stomach; head turned towards Dean and whispered, "I don't know how." He almost looked ashamed, looked like he felt he should know how to do something as simple as sleep. Apparently, thousands of years awake and never sleeping is a hard habit to break.

"You need to relax, find a comfortable position, close your eyes and it'll come up on its own. You can't think too much."

Cas scooted closer to Dean, whispering so as not to wake Sam, "I don't like losing the time. Where anything can happen and I wouldn't be aware." Dean sighed and threaded his fingers through Cas' surprisingly soft hair and said, "I won't let anything happen to you Cas." Cas looked like he wanted to say more, but his eyes were drooping shut as Dean's fingers moved through his hair.

Cas fell asleep for the first time as a human with his cheek pressing against Dean's thigh and his arm wrapped around Dean's legs. Dean didn't sleep a wink that night, just rested his hand between Cas' shoulders and gently stroked his hair when his sleep became restless.

Cas didn't deserve any of this and Dean sure as hell didn't deserve Cas. He was just a dirty little human, a human who had tortured souls, slept with too many women and refused to acknowledge the existence of emotions. Cas was an angel, a being made of light, energy and love. A being that was pure and innocent and didn't deserve to be in the dirt with the rest of them. But a selfish part of Dean wanted to ignore all of that, toss it out the window and clutch Cas to him, beg him to stay forever, stay with _Dean_. Cas made it all go away, the fear and the pain, he filled Dean with such warmth and a feeling Dean didn't have a name for. Something he only really felt for Sam, but it was different, it went deeper. Straight to his soul it seemed.

Maybe he realizes he loves Cas when the three of them are working a case, it's the middle of May and it's hot and humid. They lose Cas somewhere in the crowd of people and find him again sampling the berries at one of the stalls situated in the middle of the farmer's market they're in.

Dean catches the look of surprise when Cas samples his first blueberry. Surprise quickly turns to pleasure and pleasure quickly turns to him purchasing three pounds of blueberries for eight dollars and telling the brothers he'll meet them at the car when they're done.

When he and Sam are finished interviewing people they return to the Impala to find Cas sitting on the hood, legs tucked up underneath him and his fingers, tongue and lips stained purple-blue from the blueberries he's eating one at a time.

Dean sort of wants to kiss Cas then, chase that bitter sweetness of the berries with his tongue. He remembers tossing the idea aside, reminding himself that Cas is, _was_ an angel and is off limits. Cas probably doesn't even return those feelings, why would he?

After that hunt ends with Cas experiencing his first broken bone and Sam needing emergency surgery to stop the internal bleeding they decide to slow down. They survived the Apocalypse after all, they deserve a slight break, plus there's not much left to hunt. Everything's laying low in the wake of the Apocalypse. They buy a house not far from Bobby's, they fix it up to their liking and the three move in not long after.

Sam and Dean take over the second level of the house; their bedrooms and the office/library are up there while Cas takes the room that's set off from the rest of the house downstairs as his own. They relax into their new lives; Dean easily gets a job at one of the shops in town and sometimes helps Bobby out at the yard. Sam gets his job at the local bookstore without a hitch and Cas spends his time sitting in the window seat in the living room reading or simply staring out the window while his broken leg heals.

Dean finds him there one morning, book forgotten on his lap, eyes far away and glazed over while he stares out the window. These faraway looks are becoming more and more frequent and Dean worries that Cas is falling into a bout of depression, that he's regretting his choice to become human and that any day now he'll be begging his brothers to take him back.

Dean's throat constricts when the thought of Cas leaving for good hits him, he tells himself he's coming down with something.

"Hey, Cas." Cas' attention returns to the now, his eyes slowly focusing and turning to look at Dean. A small smile graces his full lips and, "Hello, Dean."

"You doin' okay? Need anything?" Cas shakes his head and rests his head against the window, watching as Dean settles himself onto the couch. They simply stare at each other for a while, Cas blinking long and slow but his attention never wavers. Dean wonders how he could possibly live without _this_. Cas is the only one he feels he can be quiet around, the only one where nothing needs to be said because Cas already _knows_.

"You don't regret it do you?" Dean finds himself blurting out as the early morning light shifts into the warmer shades of late afternoon. Cas gives him that small, personal smile again and whispers, "Never, Dean."

"Never?" Cas nods his confirmation and Dean blames the stinging in his eyes on allergies.

It's nearly September when Cas experiences his first cold. He stood out on their front porch too long during a thunderstorm, and the head cold hit him with a force not long after. He's miserable, sneezy, and filled with so much snot Dean is shocked Cas hasn't drowned in it yet.

Dean takes care of him though. Brings him soup, cold medicine and tea with the right amount of honey that's only found in New Zealand in it. He sits with him on Cas' bed, reads, and watches movies with him on Sam's laptop. Cas falls asleep those nights pressed close to Dean, snuffling into Dean's side in his sleep.

It's then that Dean realizes that over all these months, the feelings that have been growing inside of him, have been love. Slowly slipping from 'friendship' to 'love' and Dean doesn't know how it happened. How he suddenly came to realize that he's loved Cas all along, that these feelings he's been trying to push away and hide is his deep and fierce love for Cas.

The realization startles him upright in the bed, startling Cas from his slumber with a sneeze and a groggy, "What's wrong Dean?"

Dean wants to tell him nothing. Wants to tell Cas to go back to sleep and wants to run away from this. Wants to get into the Impala and just drive. Drive and drive until he's somewhere that's not here, not this domesticity that isn't Dean.

Instead what comes out is, "I love you."

Maybe it's the way Cas simply stares at him over the tissue he's holding to his nose, one eyebrow raised, that keeps Dean from panicking and running away. Maybe it's the way that he simply says, "Well it's about time. Your soul has been telling me that for months now," that keeps Dean grounded.

"You knew?" Dean doesn't know if he should feel annoyed or relieved. Cas squints at him over another tissue and mutters through it, "I knew your _soul_ knew. I didn't know if _you_ knew."

"Didn't think you should, I don't know..._fill_ _me in on this_?" Cas simply looks at him, his eyes too blue in the dim lighting of the room before he finally asks, "Would you have believed me?"

Dean knows he has a point. Knows he probably would have scoffed and denied and moved on from it and probably never would have come to the realization himself. The silence between them quickly becomes awkward as they simply stare at each other.

"Do...um-"

"Yes Dean. I love you too. Can we go back to sleep now please? I think my head is going to explode." Just like that the awkwardness is broken and Dean snorts, nodding and laying down, Cas settles beside him, closer than before and rests his head on Dean's chest.

"So, what do we do now?" Cas lets out a sigh, probably annoyed at being kept from going back to sleep and says, "Nothing really needs to change Dean. We already live together, hunt together we already know each other. There's nothing _to_ change."

Which is probably a good thing. Dean has never done to well with change, likes to keep things as they are. He wants things to stay as they are, doesn't want to lose Cas' friendship or his brother.

"It'll take me some time to get used to."

"I know Dean."

"But uh, just remember that when I say or do something stupid, which I will since I suck at this relationship thing. Just remember that I do love you okay?"

"I know you Dean. You don't need to tell me this."

"I know, it just makes me feel better to say it okay?"

"Okay Dean." Cas has nearly drifted off again by then and Dean just enjoys his warmth, wonders why it took him this long to accept this. Cas has been the constant thing in his life over the years they've known each other. Cas has never left and he never really gave up on Dean when he should have. It will take Dean some time, but he knows he'll get there.

"There is one thing that will change though." Cas mutters. Dean feels himself tense, prepares himself for something he really isn't ready to hear and asks, "What?"

It takes a while for Cas to respond and he's pretty much asleep when he finally does, "We can have sex now."

Yeah, that's something Dean can definitely get behind.


	12. Nothing is Dearer

Castiel was surrounded by the kind of warmth that could only be achieved from sleeping in the same spot for nine hours. His body had sunken into the mattress a few inches, the pillows formed the perfect cradle for his head and the thick blanket had created a pocket of warmth for him to soak up.

Dean had long since vacated the bed; Castiel could vaguely remember Dean rolling him off his chest so Dean could get up. Castiel stretched his legs out, wincing as they hit the cold spot on the mattress and immediately pulled them back into the warmth.

"Papa." Castiel cracked an eye open at the whispered voice and smiled when he saw Sophie standing by the edge of the bed. He lifted up a corner of the blanket and said, "Get in here with me." She grinned and climbed up onto the bed and burrowed underneath the blanket with him.

This had quickly become one of his favorite times during the day. Everything was still quiet and calm, the fuzziness left over from sleep. Sophie would always come in after waking up and curl up in bed with Castiel and sometimes Dean if Dean stayed in bed as well. They would usually end up dozing off for another hour, sometimes Sophie would ask for stories and sometimes they would just talk, make plans for the day. Castiel loved these moments where he could just cuddle up, Dean wasn't much for cuddling like Castiel was so he took it where he could get it.

Sophie rested her head on his chest, her stuffed frog, which had been named Jeffrey, was squished in between their bodies.

"Did you sleep well?" Castiel asked when she had finally finished settling. She nodded, yawned and rubbed her cheek against his shirt.

"Good." The first few nights she had been with them her sleep had been filled with nightmares, they were slowly tapering off as the months moved on, but she still had them on occasion. They dozed on and off for another hour before he heard Dean coming up the stairs shouting, "Sophie! I thought I sent you up here to wake him up not fall back asleep!" Sophie giggled and slid down, burrowing under the covers. Castiel looked over at Dean, smiled and said, "You're welcome to join us if you wish."

"Tempting as that sounds I'm already awake and dressed." Castiel simply grunted at him, lifted the edge of the blanket and asked Sophie, "What are you doing?" She looked up from where she had rested her head on his stomach and said, "Your stomach is talking."

"Oh? Is it saying anything interesting?" Sophie frowned and pressed her ear against his stomach a little more, "It says...French toast for breakfast."

Dean chuckled from where he stood, leaning against the doorframe, "I tried to feed her some oatmeal earlier, but she said you said I wasn't allowed into the kitchen to cook anything unless it was Spaghetti-O's or Macaroni and Cheese."

"I can recall saying that yes."

"I'm not _that_ bad of a cook Cas."

"No, you're just not as good as I am." Dean snorted and Castiel looked down at Sophie again and said, "Alright Soph. Let's get up and make some French toast and eggs."

With an excited giggle, Sophie shot out of the bed and Castiel slowly followed, grimacing as his feet hit the cold floor. When he eventually made his way downstairs, Sophie had levered herself up onto one of the barstools that was situated at the breakfast bar, watching as Castiel prepared breakfast. Dean was in the living room watching something on the TV waiting for it all to be finished.

"Papa?" Castiel turned from watching the eggs and raised an eyebrow in question at Sophie. She smiled at him and asked, "When breakfast is over can we go outside for a while? I want to make snowmen."

"I don't know how to make a snowman."

"It's easy. I'll show you."

"Then of course we can." Sophie's smile widened and Castiel returned his attention to the stove. He heard Dean enter the kitchen a few minutes later and ask, "What are you two talking about?"

"I'm gonna teach Papa how to make a snowman later."

"Oh yeah? That should be entertaining." Castiel paused in his cooking and turned to Dean asking, "Aren't you supposed to be on a hunt with Sam?"

"Have you _not_ looked outside this morning?" Castiel frowned, shook his head and abandoned the eggs and French toast to look out the window. Apparently, overnight the few inches that had been predicted for their area had ended up being more like a foot or more.

"Oh."

"Yeah, couldn't get out even if we tried. Bobby called some other hunters to take care of it. You're stuck with me for the weekend I guess." Castiel simply hummed in response and returned to the stove. The original plan for this weekend had been for him to go to Chicago, one of the college professors he had befriended over the year had asked him to give a lecture on his current topic. Dean had planned to take the time off and watch over Sophie while Castiel was gone, but somewhere along the line he had 'forgotten' and he and Sam and planned to use his time off to go on a hunt or do something else together.

Castiel hadn't really minded, he could easily go to Chicago another time and Dean certainly deserved some time to himself with his brother.

"Sorry I forgot." Dean muttered from behind him. Castiel looked over his shoulder; Dean had joined Sophie at the breakfast bar and had his chin resting in his hands while he watched Castiel move about.

"It's okay Dean. There will be plenty of other opportunities for me to go to Chicago. I'm only sorry that you can't spend the time with Sam."

"Maybe later in the day I can find a way there. Not the end of the world." Dean snorted at his own joke and Castiel simply rolled his eyes and loaded up three plates with eggs and French toast.

Dean moaned after one bite and said, "Cas, you're awesome. You know that right?"

"Yes, but it wouldn't hurt for you to tell me more often." Dean rolled his eyes and shoveled more French toast into his mouth. Sophie grinned at the two of them around her own mouthful and the rest of breakfast went by in silence.

After the dishes were cleaned, Dean went out into the garage saying something about cleaning out some of the crap so the Impala would be able to fit in there again. Sophie went and settled on the couch in the living room to watch her morning cartoons and Castiel went upstairs to his office to get a little bit of work done before he spent the rest of the day with Sophie.

Grace was waiting for him under the desk when he came in and she perked up instantly, tail thumping and ears perked.

"There you are. Why are you hiding in here?" She woofed quietly in response and he knelt down and stroked her head a few times, rubbed her ears and nose and scratched under her chin. Castiel still had trouble sometimes, remembering that a few months ago she had been dying. He was nowhere ready to say goodbye to her and much to his chagrin; he still had dreams of that day.

"The things you do to me." He muttered, giving her head one last pat before settling into his chair and opening up the laptop.

An hour later, he was immersed in translating some ancient Greek texts to Latin and English. The glasses he needed to wear when reading were continuously slipping down his nose and he was minutes away from tearing them off his face and being done with them. He shoved them back up into their proper position as if by some miracle the force behind the movement would make them _stay there_ when he heard, "Papa, can I be in here?"

"Of course." Sophie would often join him in the office during the day while he worked and Dean wasn't around. She liked to read (or pretend to) the books that lined the walls, color or watch movies on the portable DVD player Sam had gotten her as an early birthday present. Sometimes she would sit on Castiel's lap while he worked and Castiel would read to her what he was writing out. Dean said it was pointless since she couldn't read, but Castiel had read in one of the many books he'd purchased after Sophie had joined their family that reading aloud to children could help them learn to read. He didn't want Sophie to fall behind or be left behind when she started school. Even if Castiel wasn't fond of the idea of sending her off to school when he could teach her himself, and much more accurately too.

Sophie came into the room, closing the door behind her and nudged Castiel's arm aside, so she could clamber into his lap. He momentarily had the breath knocked out of him when she kneed him in the stomach and simply waited for her to settle before returning to work.

Sophie watched him work, occasionally asking questions about the strange symbols of the Greek alphabet which he happily explained. Another fifteen minutes passed before the glasses slipped down his nose again and he ripped them off and threw them onto the desk. He huffed out a breath that blew the hair up off his forehead and Sophie looked up at him with a slight smile on her face, "You okay Papa?"

"Yes, let's go make some snowmen now." She grinned and hopped off his lap when he turned the chair around and headed out of the office shouting for Dean. Castiel looked down at Grace who looked back up at him and got to her feet to follow him into his and Dean's bedroom when he motioned for her. Castiel got dressed in his warmest clothes and headed downstairs to make sure Sophie had done the same.

When he got downstairs, Sophie was bouncing on the balls of her feet, impatiently waiting for Castiel to join her. She'd pulled on the ski pants they'd gotten for her a few weeks ago, Dean planned to take them all skiing at some point, Castiel wasn't really looking forward to it but he went along with it to keep Dean happy.

He pulled on his thick wool coat, scarf hat and gloves and helped Sophie into her own gloves, scarf and snowshoes. Sophie looked up at him when he stood and said, "I don't have a hat."

"We'll need to get you one in the future then." He pulled off his own and placed it on her head, rolling up the edges so they wouldn't cover her eyes. She grinned up at him as he took Dean's hat and put it on his own head and asked, "Ready?" She nodded and bolted for the backdoor, calling for Grace as she went. Castiel paused by the garage and poked his head through the door and asked, "Are you going to be joining us Dean?"

"Nah, I'm almost done out here. I might join you in a bit though." Castiel nodded and headed for the backyard where Grace and Sophie were already running around, destroying what had once been smooth and pristine.

He stood on the back steps and watched as Grace shoved her nose down into the snow and began running with it to the ground, Sophie chasing after her before throwing herself down into the snow.

"C'mon Papa! Time to make some snowmen!"

An hour later their backyard was littered with snow angels (he refrained from mentioning that they in no way, shape or form looked like an actual angel) and snowmen of various sizes and shapes, he couldn't feel his fingers, his nose or his legs. There was smile on his face though and warmth that went deep down into his soul as he watched Sophie and Grace chase each other around the backyard. Castiel turned and found Dean watching them all from the deck, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jeans and a small smile on his face.

Castiel went and joined him with a quiet, "Hello."

Dean grinned at him and said, "Hi." Castiel felt his smile stretch across his face even more and he found himself pressing close to Dean, wrapping his arms around him and digging his face into the warmth of his neck.

He was rewarded with a yelp and a, "_Jesus _your nose is cold!"

"And you're warm." Dean was only dressed in his jeans and long sleeved shirt so he must not have been standing here for long. Castiel basked in that warmth despite Dean's squirming.

"C'mon Cas, seriously, your nose is freezing." Castiel nuzzled Dean's neck, pressing his nose and cheek against the warmth; it earned him a growl and Dean trying to free himself from Castiel's embrace. Castiel smiled again, stripped his gloves off his hands and shoved his hands up Dean's shirt and rested them on the hot curve of Dean's spine.

"Holy _shit_. Cas!"

"Dean."

"I fucking hate you so much right now." Castiel chuckled and pulled away, moving his hands from Dean's back and shoving them into his own pockets.

"Ass."

"You'll survive Dean. Sophie! Let's go inside for a while to warm up." Sophie came racing up the stairs and collided with Dean's legs, wrapping herself around them.

"Can we have hot chocolate?" She asked him, voice slightly muffled from where it pressed into his side.

"Sure, that sounds really good right about now."

"With marshmallows?"

"Wouldn't be hot chocolate without marshmallows." Dean and Sophie disappeared into the kitchen and Cas turned to call Grace back to his side. She came immediately, nose covered in snow, tail wagging. Castiel grinned at her and turned his attention briefly to the backyard, taking in the footprints, snowmen and snow angels.

With another smile at the yard he turned around and joined his family in the kitchen where it was warm and bright, filled with laughter and love.


	13. Double the Trouble

"Shit, I hate you two _so much_ sometimes." Dean muttered, pausing in the doorway to the living room when he spotted twin heads of dark, messy hair over the top of the couch. Two pairs of bright blue eyes turned and looked at him, one eyebrow went up and Jimmy said, "We haven't even _done_ anything. Look we're even dressed differently!"

"You being here without me knowing about it is enough!" Jimmy rolled his eyes and settled back in his position against Cas' side. Dean sighed and was thankful that they had decided against fucking with him. Last time Jimmy had been around he and Cas had dressed identically and Dean had been forced to stare for an uncomfortable amount of time to finally tell who was who. He wasn't really up for that, he generally could tell the differences between the two easily. For one, they sounded different, Jimmy's voice just as Dean remembered from all those years ago, higher pitched and smooth while Cas' voice had changed to resemble something along the lines of the future Cas Dean had met. Cas was also thicker in the legs and arms from hunting and his daily runs and Jimmy's hair was usually neater.

The bastards tended to practice though, when Dean wasn't around, working their voices to be identical pitches, hair mussed the same and clothes that were baggy enough to hide musculature that would give them away. Dean really hated them for that sometimes and despised that fact that Cas had a 'twin' to play with.

"What do we owe the pleasure of your presence then?" Dean asked when no explanations were given. He moved into the living room and threw himself down into the chair across from the couch. The two looked incredibly comfortable with one another, Jimmy with his legs stretched out in front of him, Cas with one leg thrown over Jimmy's and the other curled up underneath him.

"Moral support." Jimmy muttered, eyeing the blue container in Cas' hands while saying, "I've lost my spoon."

Deciding not to confuse himself by asking about the spoon, Dean instead asked, "Moral support for what?"

"Sophie's first day of school is on Monday, Dean." Cas sighed, not looking pleased about this development while he dug around in between the couch cushions and produced the missing spoon.

"That's what I'm there for." Dean said, watching as Jimmy cleaned the spoon on the edge of his shirt and dipped it into the mysterious container in Cas' hands.

"Neither of you have sent a child off to school before, if Cas is anything like me at all he's going to be a mess. I remember sending Claire off, I kept trying to think of ways to keep her home until she got frustrated and yelled at me and marched herself into the school." Dean snorted and watched as Cas licked his spoon clean from whatever it was they were eating out of the container.

"I think we'll manage." Jimmy simply shrugged at Dean and said, "I wanted to come visit anyway, been awhile."

"Okay, _what_ are you guys doing?"

"Well, before you so rudely interrupted, Cas and I were making up embarrassing stories about our childhood and eating frosting."

"Frosting?"

"Got a sweet tooth, can't deny its urges." Cas hummed his agreement with Jimmy around the frosting covered spoon he'd just shoved into his mouth. Dean tried not to focus on how he could just imagine Cas' tongue swirling around the spoon, licking it clean and working off the—

Jimmy threw his spoon at Dean's head, snapping, "Hey! This is my little brother you're eye-fucking from over there Dean!" Cas rolled his eyes, the spoon popping out of his mouth with an obscene _pop_ and growled, "I am _not_ the little brother!"

"Just because you know more—"

"Oh don't you two start that shit up again, I thought you'd agreed by now!" Dean interrupted the age-old argument over who was the older twin by throwing the spoon back at Jimmy. The two shook their heads at the same time while Cas said, "We still haven't agreed."

"You guys are pathetic."

"Whatever, you're just begging to bring on the wonder twin powers with this attitude by the way." Cas nodded his agreement and they both went back to attacking the frosting. Dean rolled his eyes at the two, after the busy day he'd had at work he really wasn't up for trying to tell the difference between the two.

"Where is Sophie by the way?"

"She and Grace are over at Bobby's for the night. You, Sam, Cas and I are all going out to dinner tonight." Jimmy said, abandoning his spoon and slinging his arm around Cas' shoulders and tugging him snug against his side. The two had fallen into their roles as 'twins' fairly easily, Dean didn't know if it was because Cas had shared headspace with Jimmy for two years or if it was because they were constantly talking on the phone all the damn time. Dean was just glad that there was someone outside of himself, Sam, Bobby and Gabriel that Cas could turn to. Someone that was actually human and had grown up with an actual normal childhood but still had an understanding on how Cas worked. It was nice seeing Cas opening up with Jimmy, he relaxed more, laughed, smiled and joked, acted in a way that Dean had never seen and only really happened when Jimmy was around.

He didn't know what made Cas so open around Jimmy; he was just glad for it. Happy that Cas was happy.

"Please tell me nothing evil has been planned." Cas and Jimmy snorted at the same time and said as one, "Like we'd tell you."

"You guys creep me out sometimes." They blinked in unison, shot him identical smiles and Dean shot up from his chair, ignoring their laughs and heading for the stairs, "I'm going to shower. Please be less creepy by the time I get down here."

More laughter followed him up the stairs.

When Dean finally joined them again downstairs, Sam had arrived and was laughing at something Jimmy had said.

"Hey, Dean." Sam greeted, Dean nodded and plopped down on the couch by Cas since Sam had taken over the armchair Dean had been in earlier. Cas smiled over at him, gave his thigh a squeeze before saying, "Jimmy has decided we're going to the new noodle house in town tonight."

"Noodle house?"

"Vietnamese food." Jimmy elaborated, whispering something into Cas' ear who snorted and elbowed Jimmy in the side.

"I heard it's pretty good, it's not too far from the bookstore." Sam added, watching Jimmy and Cas interacting with a small smile. Dean raised his eyebrows in question at Sam when his brother's attention turned to him; Sam simply shrugged and smiled again.

"I'm starved, let's get going." Dean muttered, hopping onto his feet and hauling Cas up with him, "I'm feeling a little neglected here Cas." Cas grinned at him finally, graced Dean with a quick and dirty kiss that promised so much more later that night and said, "Apologies."

"Well, after that you're pretty much forgiven."

"Do you two really need to act like that while we're here in the room?" Sam asked, shooting Dean a look that begged him to keep his hands to himself while little brother was in the vicinity. Jimmy was nodding his agreement with Sam while Dean simply said, "You two are just jealous."

"Please, if I was _that_ jealous I'd simply switch places with Cas and neither of you would ever know the difference. I know how hot you are for this body Winchester!" Jimmy said, and then disappeared out the front door, Sam snorted and followed while Dean looked to Cas and asked, "Should I be worried?"

"No, I'm far too possessive." And with that Cas was also out the front door, leaving Dean in the empty living room wondering how this had become his life.

They were about halfway through their dinner when a group of high school girls were seated at the table behind Sam and Dean, there were three of them and they were all chattering away in some language Dean couldn't understand. He didn't really care though; he was enjoying his bowl full of noodles and pork too much to worry about it. He'd been hesitant to try this, especially when he discovered 'Vietnamese food' did not include a burger and fries. Cas, being the showoff that he was had ended up ordering for them all, pleasing their waiter by ordering in freakin' Vietnamese of all things and was currently the only one eating with chopsticks. Sam had managed fairly well before realizing that noodles were harder to grab compared to the pieces of meat and vegetables.

"Show off." Dean muttered, eyeing the former angel as he smoothly maneuvered his chopsticks. Cas simply smiled at him, then promptly ruined his smoothness by choking on his food.

"You okay there Cas?" Jimmy asked, pounding on Cas' back and handing him his glass of water. Cas waved it away with a nod and said, "The girls behind Sam and Dean find us to be very cute Jimmy."

Jimmy merely grinned and said, "Of course they do." Dean simply shook his head and focused on his food, he was used to him and Sam getting recognized out in public for their looks, but whenever it happened to Cas he couldn't help the little flair of possessive jealousy that reared up its head. Cas was _his_ damnit, no one else's.

Cas fell silent, playing with his food, head titled to the side that said he was listening in on the giggles and conversation going on behind Dean.

"They are particularly fond of our mouths, and hands. They wish to cover us in chocolate sauce and lick it off our bodies." Cas finally said, Jimmy snorted water out of his nose and Sam rolled his eyes, muttering something under his breath that Dean didn't hear, he was too busy focusing on not turning around and telling them to knock it off, Cas was _his._ But since he _wasn't_ turning around his attention focused on Cas' mouth, and he couldn't really disagree, Cas' mouth looked positively sinful when it wrapped around the straw of his drink or his chopsticks and Dean really wasn't going to start thinking about Cas' hands in a public place.

"You can seriously understand them?" Jimmy asked, raising his eyebrows at Cas.

"Of course I can, I know every language there is."

"Unless it includes pop culture references and body language." Cas flicked a piece of carrot in Dean's direction while Jimmy said, "Surprised you can remember everything, would just give me an information overload."

"Gives him migraines sometimes." Dean muttered, recalling Gabriel warning them about it when Cas had finished his change into humanity, the human mind wasn't meant to hold so much. Cas' brain was like a library with too many books shoved into it, sometimes overfilling to the point of leaving Cas with a migraine that made the ones Sam used to get look like a walk in the park.

Sam switched from annoyed with the girls behind them to concerned, attention on Cas, "Still?" Cas shot Dean a glare, probably for ruining the mood at the table before saying, "They're very rare, there's no need to concern yourself Sam."

Sam, not looking very convinced simply sighed and let it drop. The uncomfortable silence was broken with Jimmy saying, "I wonder if Amelia would go for that chocolate sauce thing."

"Jesus _Christ_, Jimmy, really not appropriate dinner conversation!" Jimmy simply grinned at Dean and Cas decided his opinion was needed on the matter, "It's really not as pleasant as it sounds Jimmy, it's very sticky and gets uncomfortable. Also messy."

"Oh my _God_." Was Sam's response while Dean let his head fall into his hands and Jimmy cackled with glee.

"Really, not something you _share_ Cas." Dean snapped finally when Jimmy had calmed himself and Sam stopped looking like he was going to throw up his dinner.

"But I share everything with Jimmy."

"Then save it for when we're not in public!" Jimmy threw his arm around Cas' shoulders and said, "Don't worry Cas; I don't mind it in the least."

So Cas being Cas responded with, "Whipped cream is much more pleasant."

Dean groaned into his hands while Sam shouted, "Can we get the check please!"


	14. Mirrors into Windows

Castiel wakes up on Monday morning with a very unhappy feeling in his stomach. He knows Sophie is looking forward to going to school, excited and scared all at the same time, a bundle of nerves and excited energy. He knows it will be good for her to go to the school, interact with children her own age, it's good to bring her more out of her shell. Castiel was perfectly content to keep her home though, teach her himself, keep her safe from the outside world, she could stay here with him forever and not grow up and be his little girl for eternity.

He was very much okay with these thoughts.

It was early, much too early and Castiel was content to just lie in bed for a while more, listening to the sounds of Dean downstairs, getting things ready for the day. Grace was a warm weight down by his feet, snoring softly with her paws twitching in the air. He shook his head at the dog and burrowed down into his pillow, he could pretend it wasn't Monday, pretend it was still Sunday and go and make breakfast and watch cartoons with Sophie.

The bedroom door creaked open and he heard Sophie pad into the room, felt the edge of the bed on Dean's side dip a little then the warm weight was pressed against his side underneath the blanket, Jeffery pressed between them. Castiel happily rolled onto his side and pulled her close, burying his nose in her dark curls, hand automatically stroking down her back.

Sophie giggled and whispered, "Morning Papa."

"Stay here in bed with me all day. I'll tell you wonderful stories about a little girl who goes on many adventures."

"Daddy says I have to go to school no matter what you say."

"We can lock the door, barricade ourselves in here and ignore Daddy. You can stay here with me forever." Another sweet giggle lifts his heart and Sophie tucks her head up under his chin, breath warming his chest through his t-shirt.

"You're not allowed to ever grow up okay?"

"Okay Papa."

"Cas, don't you think you're being a little clingy?" Castiel glances up, sees Dean standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest, Castiel shakes his head and pulls the blankets up over his and Sophie's head, blocking out the world.

The corner of the blanket lifts and Dean fits himself underneath, body turned towards Castiel and Sophie, small smile on his face, "You don't have to worry so much Cas, Sophie is going to have a good day at school."

"I can teach her much more effectively than they ever could. Books get so many things wrong."

"It's only kindergarten Cas, she's going to be learning how to count and read and write mostly."

"I can teach her that. I _have_ taught her that, she won't be learning anything new so she should just stay here."

"Cas we had this same discussion last night." Castiel sighed and held Sophie closer to his chest; breathing in the smell of the baby shampoo she'd washed her hair with last night. Both Dean and Jimmy had told him that Cas _could_ teach Sophie, but going to school would let her interact with other children, allow her to make friends and join the outside world so she wouldn't be cooped up inside all the time. She couldn't stay with Castiel all the time, no matter how much he wanted it.

"Are we having a panic attack in here yet?" Castiel sighed at the sound of Jimmy's voice coming from behind him; he'd been too focused on Sophie to hear Jimmy coming into the room. He shoved Castiel over, settled on the bed behind Castiel, and pulled the blanket down from over their heads.

"Papa says I don't have to go to school today." Sophie said, grinning over at Jimmy.

"Well, Papa is being selfish; you're going to school today."

"But Papa will be alone today. I don't want him to be alone." Castiel squeezed Sophie in a hug, her soul changing from the calm and relaxed blue-green it had been to a worried silver-gold color. Sophie was much too kind hearted for someone her age, she was barely five years old and she was worrying about Castiel's wellbeing, he loved her so much at that moment.

"No he won't! Mary will be keeping him company today, don't worry, I wouldn't leave to go back home if Papa was going to be all alone after you go to school." Jimmy draped himself over Castiel's back, putting him closer to Sophie so they could whisper to one another while Castiel groaned unhappily. He'd forgotten that he was going to be watching Mary today, Sarah and Sam both needing to work, Bobby was off on a hunt and Dean would also be going to work. As much as he loved Mary he really wasn't up for watching her today, he was going to be too preoccupied with worrying about Sophie and her first day.

Jimmy squeezed his shoulder and Castiel was glad to have had him there over the weekend, a nice distraction to keep him from panicking until the last moment. He was glad to have Jimmy in his life, glad that were capable of having this type of relationship after everything he'd put Jimmy through, judging from the dark blue that Castiel could see in Jimmy's soul as Jimmy gave him a squeeze Jimmy was quite pleased with how things had worked out as well.

He just wished Jimmy could stay longer instead of leaving after they dropped Sophie off at school to return to his own family and job. Castiel found himself craving the type of comfort Jimmy offered, hugs and casual touches that would sooth Castiel's fears and calm his nerves. Castiel could remember being an angel, surrounded by his brothers and sisters, their grace connecting with his when he was troubled, soothing and calming him. A hug or touch from Jimmy or Gabriel brought him the same reassurance and he constantly longed for it.

"C'mon Sophie, I think there's a Poptart in the kitchen with your name on it kiddo." Jimmy gave Castiel one last squeeze before hopping off the bed, pulling Sophie from Castiel's hold. Dean smiled over at him and pulled Castiel close, "She's going to be fine Cas."

"You don't know that for sure." Castiel pressed his face against the warmth of Dean's neck and tucked his arms between them, feeling the steady beat of Dean's heart against his hands.

"They know to call you if anything goes wrong and Sophie knows she can tell her teacher she wants to go home if she gets scared or misses you too much."

"I don't want her to grow up." Dean chuckled, pressed a kiss into Castiel's hair, "I don't want her to either, but she's going to." Castiel laid there for a few more minutes, enjoying Dean's warmth and the sounds of Jimmy and Sophie laughing down in the kitchen.

Dean gave Castiel's hip a pat and said, "C'mon, we need to get dressed now." Castiel sighed, nodded and they both crawled out of bed to get dressed.

Fifteen minutes later they were all bundled up in their warm winter clothes and walking down the street towards Sophie's school. Sophie was walking between Castiel and Dean, holding their hands while she walked, kicking at the snow in front of her. Jimmy was on Castiel's other side, Grace walking between them. The dog would occasionally nudge Castiel's hand with her nose, giving her reassurances in her own way, which Castiel was grateful for.

When the school building came into view, he started babbling.

"Maybe we should go into the classroom, talk to her teacher again, that way I can put up some sigils to keep-"

"Cas, stop. Sophie is going to be fine." Castiel scowled at the school, they had met Sophie's teacher last week when they'd gone to enroll her, she was kind woman who had constantly reassured them both that Sophie would be safe and well looked after. There were only so many things she could protect his daughter from though, there were still rogue angels out there, demons, ghosts and other things that an ordinary person had no hope against.

They entered the school, children, parents and teachers were milling about in the hallway, chatting excitedly and planning for the day. Sophie took off her jacket, gloves and scarf and hung them up on a hook outside the classroom door, her bag went into her cubby, which had been assigned last week as well.

Castiel pulled off his gloves and knelt down in front of Sophie, tugging on the chain around her neck to make sure the protection and anti-possession charms were still in place and intact. His hands were shaking as he tucked them back underneath her sweater, smoothed down some wayward strands of her hair, "Do you have your lunch?"

"Uncle Jimmy packed it for me."

"PB&J, banana and apple juice, also a cookie. Every kid needs a cookie in their lunch." Jimmy said from his place behind Castiel. Castiel nodded, "You have them call me if you want to come home okay? You don't have to stay all day if you don't want to." Sophie nodded and Castiel bit his lip, fighting the tears that were threatening to spill, he really didn't need to cry in front of her, didn't need her to see how worried he was.

"All right, come here, give me my hug." Sophie threw herself into his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck and squeezing with as much force as a five year old could.

"You behave yourself; do as your teacher says okay?" She nodded against his neck and pulled away, Castiel stood and backed away so Dean could have his turn, telling her to have fun and to make some friends. Jimmy was last, saying good-bye and that he would see her for Christmas. The bell rung and children were rushing past to enter the classroom, Sophie looked back at the three of them before she followed, she looked terrified and it took every bit of Castiel's self-restraint to not rush forward, scoop her up and take her home and make her hot chocolate.

Castiel gave her his most reassuring smile, Dean waved her on and Jimmy shouted, "Knock 'em dead kiddo!" Sophie grinned and disappeared into the classroom, the teacher shutting the door behind her. Castiel couldn't help the whimper that escaped and the step forward he took towards the door. Jimmy grabbed his arm, spun him around and hugged him, whispering, "She's going to be fine Cas."

Castiel rested his head on Jimmy's shoulder, felt Dean's hand on his back and asked, "How are you so calm Dean?"

"Dude I'm freaking out as much as you are. I'm just better at hiding it is all. Plus I went through the same thing when Sam started school, I may have only been a kid but I still wigged out about not being able to keep an eye on him all day."

"You just need to distract yourself." Jimmy released Castiel, and gripped his arm, tugging him towards the exit.

"You'll have Mary today, and don't you have an article to write?" Dean appeared on his other side, taking hold of Castiel's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Don't remind me." He _did_ have an article to write, a rather large important one that would appear in some of the bigger magazines all over the world and he hadn't even _started_. His first draft was due tomorrow, he couldn't believe he'd let the time slip away from him like that, he was usually much better at being done long before his deadlines came up.

"See? You're already distracted." Castiel snapped out of it and looked around; they were outside now, walking down the street towards home while Grace trotted along in front of them.

"First day is always the hardest Cas, it'll get easier." Castiel nodded and gladly welcomed the hugs both Dean and Jimmy gave him before Dean left for work and Jimmy left for home.

By lunchtime, Castiel was a wreck, he'd only managed a few paragraphs for his article, Mary was being fussy, the washing machine had thumped itself to death and he felt the familiar pressure building up behind his eyes.

It was just his luck that as soon as one of his migraines was mentioned he would end up getting one. At the worst possible time too.

"Oh Mary, why of all times do you have to be so fussy today?" Castiel muttered, wincing at the screech she let loose. She was refusing to go down for a nap, didn't want to eat anything he offered her and was having quite the time dropping her toys and screaming until Castiel had returned them to her grasp.

"You're being very annoying today." Mary simply squealed again, making a sound that would one day resemble 'Cas', but until then it simply made him wince and increase the pressure behind his eyes. Castiel glanced at the clock, it was almost time to start heading back for the school to pick Sophie up, he was grateful for it, the day had been dragging along without her here to help distract him from the slow creep of time.

"Come on you, let's get you bundled up." He scooped Mary up off the couch and headed for the front door where their things were stashed. Mary let out a frustrated whine at not being able to hold onto her toys. Before the crying could begin; he pressed his mouth to her neck and blew, resulting in a happy squeal and giggles. Castiel did it one more time before setting Mary on the floor by Grace so she would have something to lean against while he pulled on his jacket, hat and gloves. Grace heaved a world-weary sigh as Mary grabbed hold of some of her fur before Castiel was picking her up again and getting Mary into her own warm clothes.

"Come on Grace, let's get Sophie." Grace shot up from the floor and followed him outside.

It was much too bright outside with the sun shining on the white snow, it was too loud with Mary babbling in his ear as they walked and just too cold, numbing the back of his neck and his nose. His head started it's pounding in time with his heartbeat and the edges of his vision blurred a little.

"This is wonderful timing." Castiel muttered, rubbing his temple. Grace whined a little and nudged his hand when he dropped it back down and he gave her ear a tug.

They reached the school and he only had to wait a few minutes in the cold until the bell rang, releasing the younger students from their classes. Castiel made a mental note to talk Dean into buying him a car so he would be able to wait in warmth when picking Sophie up from school during the winter.

"Papa!" Sophie came bolting down the stairs and Castiel managed to kneel enough to be able to catch her in his one available arm. Castiel pressed a kiss to her forehead and muttered, "I missed you." Sophie giggled, squirmed in his hold until he let go and said, "I wasn't gone _that_ long."

"I still missed you." Sophie grinned at him, kissed Mary's cheek and hugged Grace before taking Castiel's hand in her own and started heading for home.

"Did you have a good day?"

"Yep!" It was enough for Sophie to launch into her day, going into detail on the other kids she had met and how her teacher had been impressed that Sophie already knew her alphabet and how to count to twenty. Castiel resisted the urge to go back and roll his eyes at her teacher, _of course_ Sophie knew how to do those things, he'd taught her himself, she also knew how to count to ten in Latin and knew the first few letters of the Enochian alphabet. Sophie was smart and she learned quickly.

The rest of his day was lost in a blur of migraine induced pain and dealing with Sophie and Mary. Sophie understood that Castiel wasn't feeling well so she'd settled herself down and was happily working on the worksheets her teacher had handed out as homework. Mary was finally settling down by the time night was falling and Dean was due home any minute, naturally, it was when Castiel would finally have some help during the day that Mary took it upon herself to finally fall asleep on his chest.

Castiel sighed and settled himself into a more comfortable position on the couch, resting his hand on Mary's back as she slumbered on, drool soaking into his shirt. It wasn't entirely comfortable but it was finally _quiet_. All lights in the house were off, save for the one currently on in the living room, dimmed down to its lowest setting so if Castiel squinted just right it didn't send shooting pains through his head. The curtains were drawn, Mary was sleeping, Sophie was occupied, finally…Castiel could suffer in peace.

Until Dean announced his homecoming by barging in through the front door, slamming it shut behind him and flicking on the lights.

"Too bright! Too loud!"

"Cas?"

"Much too loud, much too bright." Castiel had a hand clamped over his eyes, the pain increased, pressure built, oh his head was going to _explode_.

At least none of the noise had awakened Mary, thank everything that was holy, Mary still rested.

"Shit Cas, I'm sorry." The light flicked off, Dean toed his boots off and stepped into the living room, Sophie was glaring at him from her spot on the floor, as if knowing Dean had somehow done wrong. Dean lifted Castiel's head from the couch and sat down, Castiel's head resting in his lap.

"Didn't we just talk about your migraines too?"

"There's irony in there somewhere." Castiel muttered, willing his heart to stop beating so he wouldn't feel it in his head. Dean's fingers wove through his hair before resting on his temples, rubbing gentle circles before asking, "Did you take your medicine for it at least?"

"No."

"You idiot, why not?"

"Makes me drowsy. Can't watch Sophie and Mary if I'm sleeping."

"Should have called me Cas, I would have come home." Castiel simply sighed, enjoying the gentle pressure Dean was putting into his temples, occasionally pausing to run fingers through his hair and over his forehead.

"Magical fingers, oh I love your magical fingers." Castiel was vaguely aware of Sophie telling Dean about her day and Dean speaking to her about it, he was too focused on how wonderful Dean's fingers were, how it was helping alleviate the pain in his head some, not enough, but some.

"I'm going to get you one of your pills, and I'll call Sam and see when he'll be able to come and get Mary. You just lay here and relax Cas." Castiel simply grunted and didn't bother moving for fear it would have him bent over the toilet for the rest of the night like the last time.

"Are you going to be okay Papa?" Castiel nodded as he felt Sophie's small hands sink into his hair, moving much like Dean's had been before he'd left to get the medication doctors had prescribed him for the migraines.

"It's only temporary Sophie."

"So you'll be better tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"Good, you can help me with my work tomorrow then!"

"I'm sorry I couldn't help you with them tonight Sophie, I really wanted to hear about the rest of your day and see what you're working on."

"It's okay Papa, I'll have more tomorrow." Castiel nodded and heard Dean returning, he lifted himself up a little, resting a hand on Mary's back to keep her from shifting too much and accepted the pill from Dean and swallowed it down. Dean returned to his spot underneath Castiel's head and resumed his rubbing, Sophie found a movie to watch at Dean's bidding and situated herself between the couch and Castiel's hip. Grace entered from the kitchen, Dean must have let her in because the last thing Castiel could remember doing before flopping onto the couch with Mary was letting the dog outside, she licked Castiel's hand and settled on the floor where he rested his hand on her head.

"Doing okay Cas?"

"Mmm, s'nice." A few minutes or an hour passed by, Castiel didn't know, all he knew was the pill was kicking in, fogging his mind and dulling the pain.

"Doing okay Cas?"

"Mmhmm."

"Magic fingers?"

"Mmm."

"Don't even know what I'm saying do you?" Castiel was aware of responding with something, but not much after that.

Castiel slowly dragged himself back to consciousness at some point during the night. His mind was too fogged with sleep and the pill he'd taken, all he really knew was that Dean wasn't there anymore, Mary had been replaced with Sophie on his chest and his hand was still resting on Grace's head.

"You awake?" Castiel cracked an eye open, was pleased to note the light didn't send pain shooting through his brain, and managed to somehow focus on Dean.

"You hungry? There's some pizza in the fridge."

"Mmfrl." Apparently, his brain wasn't attached to his mouth yet, somehow it managed to translate to a 'no' in Dean's mind though since he came and kneeled on the floor, bringing himself even with Castiel's head.

"Are you feeling better at least?" Castiel nodded, somehow managed to bring his hand up to rest it on the back of Dean's neck and sighed.

"I hate when you're in pain Cas, why didn't you call me?" Castiel's brain couldn't really think of the words so he simply went with gently squeezing Dean's neck and fought to keep his eyes open.

"You don't need to go through this kind of shit by yourself, all you had to do was call any one of us and we would have come to help you. Hell even Bobby would have dropped his hunt, we all know how much these migraines take out of you, last time you couldn't even _move_ without hurling." Castiel tried to convey his _don't remind me_ into his frown.

"Sorry, know you don't need to remember that shit, but you don't need to do it alone Cas okay? Please just call me if no one is home next time okay?" Castiel nodded and sighed again, mindlessly working his thumb along the curve of Dean's jaw.

"I love you too much to see you in pain and not do anything about it."

"Mmm."

"Is that 'I love you too'?"

"Mmm."

"Those pills really take it out of you don't they?" Castiel nodded, Dean chuckled, pressed a kiss to his temple, and muttered, "I'll get Sophie up to bed and then I'll come and get you tucked in too. Can't have you sleeping on the couch, your back will hate you in the morning."

"Mmf."

"Nope, you're not sleeping on the couch." Dean stood, gathered Sophie up off Castiel's chest and carried her upstairs to her room. Castiel finally allowed his eyes to drift shut, allowed the fog to resettle in his mind. He felt Dean return, heard him sigh, but couldn't find it in himself to open his eyes again, to get his mind working on getting his limbs to move.

"You're so going to owe me a massage or something in the morning Cas." Dean muttered before he somehow managed to lift Castiel up off the couch, grunting with the effort.

"How's a little guy like you weigh so damn much?" Dean muttered, shifting Castiel's weight a little, Castiel simply hummed, nuzzled into Dean's neck and sighed happily.

"You're such a girl." Dean settled him into a bed; he guessed they were in the guest room since he hadn't been held that long and he didn't figure Dean would be able to get his weight up the stairs without some kind of help. His jeans were removed, along with his socks, the blanket was pulled out from under him and tucked in under his chin, he heard Dean move around the room before he felt that familiar weight settle in beside him.

Castiel moved back against Dean without complaint, pressed his back into Dean's chest, their legs tangled together and Dean's hand was a warm weight against his stomach.

"Go back to sleep Cas." Dean whispered, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck, tightening his hold around Castiel's waist. Castiel simply hummed and fell back into sleep, content and warm.


	15. Haven in a Heartless World

Dean didn't know what he was expecting when he got home, but it certainly wasn't Gabriel sitting in the living room with a ring of sigils around him and Jimmy and Cas yelling at each other in the kitchen.

"Um…"

"I'm in time out." Gabriel muttered, popping a lollipop into his mouth. Dean stared at him and Gabriel waved his hands at the sigils surrounding the chair, "My little brother is a sneaky, manipulative bastard."

"He's…got you trapped in a chair?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"You'll see when you head into the kitchen, go through the dining room." Dean eyed him, shrugged and did as he said. When he entered the dining room he blinked, looked around and back to the wall. Sophie was sitting on the floor in front of the wall; a pair of Cas' boxers sitting on her head like a hat, the wall in front of her had been decorated in crayon. A lot of it was her own drawings, but some were more involved and were probably the doing of Gabriel.

Sophie turned and looked up at him with wide blue eyes and said, "Gracie did it." The dog in mention sighed from her place half in and half out of the kitchen and looked at Dean like her whole world was collapsing in on itself.

"Did she now."

"Uh-huh."

"Somehow I don't think Grace could draw on the wall."

"She can." Dean chuckled, shook his head and asked, "Is there a reason you've got Papa's…uh…underwear on your head?" Sophie gave him a look that told him she was very unimpressed and said, "Uncle Gabe said it's a fashion statement."

"Right." With that Dean spun around and entered the kitchen where Jimmy was saying, "You should just paint over it Cas."

"I would but I can't find the paint, otherwise this will have to do."

"You're gonna strip the paint off using that!"

"I will not!"

"You will!"

"I won't!"

"You will!"

"You're a filthy liar!" Cas shouted, tossing a dishtowel at Jimmy and tackling him to the ground. Jimmy let out a surprised grunt and the two began rolling around on the kitchen floor, tossing insults at one another and trying to get the upper hand.

"I come home and it's like the freakin' circus." At Dean's words two pairs of bright blue eyes popped up over the edge of the counter, Cas blinked at him and said, "It's Gabriel's fault."

"I heard it was Grace's." Cas frowned at him and shook his head while Jimmy said, "He gave Sophie sugar, and has been teaching her the finer points of driving everyone crazy."

"Well, Gabe is good at that."

"I can still hear you, you know!" Gabriel shouted from the living room. Both Jimmy and Cas shouted at the same time, "You shut your mouth Gabriel!"

"You're not going to corrupt my child!" Dean thought to add.

"I'm not corrupting! I'm educating!" Cas made a face and got to his feet, looking like he was going to go into the living room to give Gabriel a piece of his mind. Dean grabbed him around the waist, dragging him back and said to Jimmy, "Why don't you go and negotiate Gabriel's release? He's only allowed out if he's going to clean up the mess on the dining room wall." Jimmy nodded, gave Dean a salute and disappeared into the living room.

"And you-" Dean was cut off by Cas twisting around in his arms like a cat, breaking free and shoving Dean back against the counters.

"Um…" Cas pressed up against him, all sharp angles and lean muscle. Dean's hands automatically went to Cas' hips, pulling him closer, Cas hummed his approval and a firm thigh was nudged between Dean's legs.

"You know it's probably not the best idea to mol-_mmf_." Quite suddenly and without warning Cas was all over him, warm hands sliding up underneath Dean's shirt and quick nips and licks to his lips to coax his mouth open. After the day Dean had had he couldn't help the groan that escaped, couldn't help the one hand that slid from hip to the swell of Cas' ass that was always so damn tempting. Cas hummed his approval again and Dean spun them around, pressing Cas into the counter.

"You're freakin' awful you know that right?" Dean muttered, kissing his way down the length of Cas' exposed throat. His response was the slow grind of Cas' hips against his own, Dean huffed out a laugh then jumped when Gabriel shouted, "You shouldn't molest people in the kitchen! It's unsanitary!"

"Fucking Gabriel." Cas chuckled, hauled Dean in for another kiss and whispered, "Later tonight, I'm going to ride you so hard you forget your name."

It took all of Dean's willpower not to throw Cas over his shoulder and haul him upstairs, instead he growled, "You're a fucking cocktease of the Lord you know that right?"

There was a gasp from behind them and Sophie shouted out for the whole house to hear, "Daddy said 'fuck'!" Cas groaned and slapped a hand to his forehead, "I'm going to kill _everyone_ in this house, starting with you Gabriel!"

"Hey, I didn't do anything." Gabriel popped up beside Dean, grinned at his brother then yelped when Cas leapt at him, wrapping around Gabriel like a rabid monkey. Dean sighed, watched as Gabriel stumbled around the kitchen and turned to Sophie and said, "You young lady, you know better than to say that word."

"You said it first."

"Doesn't mean you get to say it." Sophie glared up at him, but the effect was lost due to the fact she still had Cas' boxers sitting on top of her head. Dean chuckled, took her hand and headed into the dining room where the wall was still decorated with her colorful depictions of their family, "And this, we talked about this."

"Uncle Gabe said it was okay."

"We also talked how we're not to believe everything Uncle Gabe says." Sophie pouted up at him, crossing her arms and grumbling, "But I _like_ Uncle Gabriel." Dean sighed and was about to launch into the lecture he and Cas had given her about Gabriel a month ago when it had been discovered the archangel would be joining them for Christmas dinner. He was interrupted though by Cas shrieking in the living room, Jimmy giving a triumphant shout and Grace shooting up and racing into the living room to save Cas.

"Well, can tell Gabriel is here." Dean jumped and spun around to see his brother, Sarah and Bobby coming into the house from the backdoor. Sophie let out an excited squeal and launched herself at Sam who picked her up and swung her over his shoulder.

"Sounds like World War Three in the living room." Bobby grumbled, eyebrows rising under his hat. True enough there was thudding, shouts, yells, Grace barking and the sound of something breaking.

"Yeah, I don't even know what's going on in there." Dean mumbled, grinning at Sarah who handed Mary over to him. His niece was sleeping peacefully through all the chaos, he kind of envied her for that, he'd give anything for a nap right then.

Sam and Sophie disappeared into the living room where Dean could only guess some tickle torture was happening from the sounds Cas was making. Bobby disappeared to find the alcohol and Sarah gave him a look that clearly asked why she had joined this family.

"Might as well go check the food, I know Cas is supposed to be cooking but it doesn't sound like he's getting away from the living room for a while." Sarah nodded, a smile on her face as she turned towards the oven, "Food I can handle."

Cas finally managed to get away from the mess, he stumbled into the kitchen, arm wrapped around his chest, cheeks red from his laughter and a little breathless.

"I hate Gabriel. And Jimmy."

"They're just doing what brothers do." Dean grinned over at him from where he was sipping his beer with Bobby at his side, Sarah was keeping an eye on the turkey in the oven and Mary had been placed in a highchair with some mashed potatoes to keep her occupied.

Cas grunted, pressed a kiss to the top of Mary's head, narrowly avoiding getting potatoes stuck in his hair. He joined Sarah over by the stove, eying the various pots to make sure nothing was burning.

Cas dug a bottle of beer from the fridge and joined Bobby and Dean at the breakfast bar, Bobby watched Mary and Sarah while Cas stared at Dean like he wanted to shove him up against the counter and have his way with him again.

What was with the people in the house today? Usually Gabriel and Sophie weren't a handful and Cas and Jimmy were usually plotting against Dean instead of each other. It was like everyone had lost their minds.

Maybe Gabriel was to blame. It was usually always Gabriel's fault anyway.

There was loud laughter from the living room and Dean muttered, "That can't be good." Cas simply took a sip of his beer, rolled his eyes at Dean in a clear _ya think? _look. Sam entered the kitchen with a smile on his face and said, "Gabriel has allowed Sophie to play dress up."

"Do we even want to know?" Bobby asked, looking ready to bolt back to his house if things continued to get out of hand. They're all saved from wondering what 'dress up' means for Sophie when the girl in question entered the kitchen dressed up in a smart looking white dress, an authentic looking tiara on her head and covered in glitter.

"I thought you weren't one for the princess look." Dean said, looking her up and down. Cas simply took a drink of his beer like this was all too much for him and Sophie simply looked at Dean like he's an idiot and said, "I'm not a princess! I'm a _Queen_!"

Cas sprayed his beer all over the wall, Bobby choked on his and Dean resisted the urge to slam his head into the table. Gabriel entered the kitchen then, he was also covered in glitter and looked like he didn't have a care in the world, he simply looked at Cas who was doubled over and shaking with silent laughter and said, "Queen Sophie demands to know when dinner is."

"Dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes." Sarah said, looking from Sophie to Gabriel to Jimmy who had joined them all with his own beer. Cas finally straightened, took a deep breath and said to Gabriel, "Hey Gabriel, since you're covered in glitter too…does that make you the fairy godmother?"

It was Jimmy's turn to spit his beer all over the wall while Cas doubled over again when Gabriel growled out, "I _will_ turn you into toad Cas!"

Cas let out a snort and said, "You've got the wings, should cover them in glitter too, you'd look so _precious_."

"_Castiel_." Cas simply snickered again and Jimmy shot out of his seat when Gabriel's hand popped up into the position to snap, he grabbed Cas and tugged him into the dining room saying, "We're going to set the table! There will be no turning into toads tonight! It's Christmas for crying out loud!"

Fifteen minutes later the table was set and the food was laid out, everything looked mouthwatering and Dean couldn't wait to dig in. He paused though, before they served everything up and looked around at the table.

How his family had grown from just him and Sam to eight people was beyond him. Gabriel and Bobby were sitting across from Dean, talking about some ancient text, Sam was on his left feeding Mary some carrots, and Cas was on his right bickering with Jimmy about the proper way to toast a marshmallow while Sophie was sitting next to Gabriel, gleefully stacking an obscene amount of mashed potatoes onto her plate.

This was his family, his life now. Everyone was happy, laughing, and smiling, the joy could actually be felt in the air and for once in his life, Dean didn't expect something to go wrong in the next few moments.

Dean took hold of Cas' hand underneath the table and gave it a squeeze, Cas paused in his argument and turned to look at Dean, a small smile on his face, blue eyes bright and shining. Cas returned the squeeze on his hand, leaned over and whispered so no one else would hear, "I still haven't forgotten about my promise."

"You're a kinky bastard." Cas simply grinned at him and returned his attention back to Jimmy; he didn't remove his hand from Dean's grasp. Dean didn't know if there was a place beyond 'happy' but he was totally there in that moment.

And Cas _really_ held up his end of the promise to make Dean forget his name later that night.

* * *

><p>Dean walked in through the front door and immediately heard, "<em>Well I woke up tonight and said I'm gonna make somebody love me and now I know, now I know, I know that it's yo-ou! You're lucky, lucky, you're so lucky!"<em>

"Yeah! _Sing it, _Cas!" Dean frowned and walked into the living room where everyone was settled, Cas was singing at the top of his lungs dancing in place with Sophie to the beat of the music while Claire and Jimmy played along on their plastic guitar and drum set.

"_Oh well do you, do you, do you want to, want to go where I've never let you before? _Oh, hello Dean." Cas stopped his singing and dancing when he caught sight of Dean standing in the doorway, a blush creeping up his cheeks.

"Oh c'mon! We were doing so well too!" Jimmy turned around and glared at Dean, "You ruined it!" Dean held up his hands in surrender and looked around the living room, Claire and Jimmy were on the couch with Sam and Sarah sprawled on the floor in front of them. Amelia was sitting the armchair with Mary on her lap while Cas and Sophie were apparently the standing entertainment.

As a Christmas present Claire had received and X-box and a few games, compliments of Gabriel. Dean had left the group setting up the console and _Rockband_ to go on an alcohol run for the adults.

Claire looked at Dean over the top of the couch and said, "Uncle Cas was jammin'."

"Yeah I saw that." Cas' blush deepened and he handed the microphone to Sarah who promptly stood and went about choosing a song while Cas came around to Dean and snatched the bags from him.

"Hello to you too."

"Alcohol. I need it." Cas muttered, disappearing into the kitchen. Dean snorted and followed him and asked, "So how are things going?" Cas set the bags on the counter, took out one of the beers and popped it open with a sigh, "Awkward."

"Well, at least she isn't yelling at you this time." Cas grunted and leaned against the counter; Dean picked out a beer of his own and stood in front of Cas, watching him as he peered into the living room every now and then.

Jimmy and Claire visited often enough, but this was Amelia's first time joining them for Christmas and New Year's. They'd learned early on that Amelia wasn't as quick to forgive as Jimmy, no one could really blame her since the last time she'd seen the Winchesters they'd pretty much destroyed her life and Cas had taken her husband from her without a word. So it ended with Amelia not joining Jimmy and Claire when they visited, she'd agreed to come this year though. Jimmy had arrived a few days before to have time with Cas then Claire and Amelia had arrived earlier that morning in time to join them in opening presents and have breakfast.

It was awkward and tense, but there was no yelling and no glares, Amelia had even offered to help Cas make breakfast and that hadn't ended badly either. Dean was glad to see her settling in, smiling at Sophie and she'd been laughing at Cas when Dean had come back from his booze run, so hopefully things would continue along this route while they were here for the week.

"Just take it easy like you did with Jimmy. Hang out and talk, get to know one another."

"I am. We are, we had a nice talk about how I'm handling Sophie going to school for the first time this morning. She gave me some good tips."

"Good." Music started up in the living room followed by Sarah singing along with whatever song she had picked. Sam started laughing about something, Sarah started yelling at him for interrupting, and Jimmy started yelling at them for being idiots and not paying attention to the game. Their yelling was followed by a thud and more laughter and shouting from Sam and Jimmy. Dean couldn't help the grin on his face; Sam deserved this normalcy and happiness.

"I'm glad you're happy Dean." Dean turned his attention to Cas and smiled at him and said, "Of course I am." He grabbed hold of Cas' belt and pulled him forward, resting his forehead against Cas'.

"This isn't how I thought my life would go when I thought about the future." Cas mumbled, eyes slipping closed as he leaned against Dean.

"And how did you think it would go?"

"I knew I wouldn't survive," Dean tightened his hold on Cas while Cas continued, "If I hadn't decided to stay on Earth with you and with Sam I'd most likely be doing what Gabriel is doing now."

"Running Heaven?" Cas nodded, sighed and said, "Heaven was in chaos, someone needed to do it."

"So why didn't you? Why did you come back?" Dean had never really asked, too focused on hunting and getting back on track then with settling down and working on his relationship with Cas. He knew the main reason, knew Cas had once again given up Heaven for him but he knew there had to be more to it. At least he hoped, he didn't want to be the only reason Cas had chosen this life.

"Near the end I'd begun to feel Dean. Emotions, cravings. I wanted, I felt. As an angel I didn't have that."

"And once you had it you didn't want to give it up."

"I would never have been the same angel I had once been after experiencing those things. I would have missed it, missed you." Dean pressed a kiss to Cas' temple, closed his eyes and whispered, "I love you Cas."

"I know you do."

"Just…thank you."

"For what?"

"For coming back. For choosing to stay and choosing me even if I was in denial about how I felt about you." Cas chuckled and they both turned when they heard, "Papa? Daddy?"

"Yeah Soph?" Sophie looked to Dean, then to Cas and asked, "Is this one of those 'private' conversations I'm not allowed to be around for?" Dean snorted and Cas smiled at her and said, "No Sophie, you're welcome to join us if you want." Sophie grinned and came over to them, leaning against Cas' side and taking Dean's hand in one of her own. She played with his ring and Cas asked, "Did you get everything you wanted for Christmas?"

Sophie was silent for a moment before she said, "No." Both Dean and Cas exchanged looks, "What didn't you get then?" Dean was pretty sure they'd given her plenty this year, most of which she had asked for and several things she hadn't.

"I wanted a little brother or sister."

Dean learned that it is quite possible to choke on your own spit and Cas looked like his brain had blanked on everything and anything.

Jimmy's head poked in from the living room and asked, "You guys okay?" Dean continued with his coughing while Cas opened his mouth to respond, found no words and simply shut his mouth again.

"Guys?" Jimmy came over to them, looked down at Sophie who didn't look too pleased with the situation then looked back up at Cas.

"What's going on?" Dean managed to get control of himself and promptly turned towards the cabinets behind him to get to the hard liquor while Cas continued to look like his brain had found the 'off' switch. Jimmy finally turned to Sophie and asked, "What happened?"

"I told them I wanted a little brother or sister." Sophie sounded on the verge of a temper tantrum; she glared at Dean and pouted up at Jimmy who was chuckling. Dean found the whiskey and promptly took a swig from the bottle while Jimmy slung his arm around Cas' shoulders and said, "Oh boy, this is fun."

Cas didn't move beyond glaring at Jimmy, finally Cas blinked, sighed and said, "Maybe one day Sophie, but don't you think we should wait awhile?"

"No." Dean took another swig, chuckled and murmured, "Of course not."

"Well, adoption does take a long time. A year or two usually."

"You're not _helping_." Cas growled, elbowing Jimmy in the side and yanking the whiskey from Dean's grip to take his own swig. Jimmy simply leaned back against the counter, a big smile spreading across his face, "Well you can't deny what Queen Sophie wants." Sophie nodded her agreement, looking up at Dean and Cas with big eyes.

"We'll um…we'll think about it Sophie, okay?" Sophie sighed, rolled her eyes and muttered, "Fine."

"Come on Sophie, Claire wants you to sing a song with her." Jimmy took hold of Sophie's hand and pulled her back into the living room. Dean looked at Cas, Cas looked at Dean and they both went for the whiskey again.

"_Another_ kid?" Cas simply looked at Dean, sighed and said, "I wouldn't mind another one. But, not for a while at least."

"Well, Sophie doesn't seem to want to give us a while to settle." Cas sighed and rubbed a hand over his forehead, "Jimmy did say it can take years. Perhaps we should at least look into it? I'm sure we'd be ready enough in a few years."

They stood in silence for a while, simply passing the whiskey back and forth while everyone in the living room took turns on the game; it was nice background noise, the laughter and jokes floating into the kitchen. Dean could get used to hearing it all the time.

He'd always imagined a large family for himself whenever he'd taken a moment to think about a life he'd never have when he'd been hunting on his own and then with Sam again. Just thinking about it now though gave him the willies; he was content with Sophie, Cas and Grace. From the looks of it so was Cas, he had enough trouble letting Sophie go to school for a half a day, another kid probably wouldn't do that any good.

"Why don't we regroup on this next week? After everyone's gone back to their respective homes. We'll think and talk about what to do then." Cas nodded, "That sounds like a good plan."

"Hey, where's your furchild? I haven't seen her since breakfast." Cas frowned over at him and Dean supplied, "Grace."

"Oh, she's hiding from the mayhem and chaos in my office." Dean snorted and nodded, Grace usually did hide out when everyone was over, only coming out if Cas made enough unhappy noises. Dean was prepared to mention that go join her in hiding out when from the living room came Gabriel's voice, "Hey! You two better not be molesting each other in the kitchen again!"

"I'm going to kill him." Cas grumbled, taking a large sip from the bottle before thrusting it at Dean and running into the living room. Dean chuckled when he heard Gabriel yelp, Jimmy laughed and shouted, "I got your back bro!" Dean took one last sip from the bottle, put it back in its place and went to go save Cas from Gabriel's wrath when Cas let out a shriek that let everyone know he was being tickled within an inch of his life.


	16. Looking into You

Castiel didn't understand his restlessness, it thrummed underneath his skin, filled him with an anxious energy that he didn't understand. It reminded him of his grace, how it had curled and pulsed, how his human body had barely contained it.

It was early; the sun had just peeked over the trees, the sky turning a light gray, pink around the edges. Birds were chirping, next-door Mr. Meyer's alarm clock was going off, across the street, Ms. Yang was leaving for work and Castiel was _awake_. Very rarely was he up this early, and if he was it was against his will, usually something for work. He was awake though, on his own, not because of work and not because of some noise in the house. He was awake because he felt like he was about to vibrate out of his own skin.

Castiel didn't like feeling like this, it was new and annoying. Dean was a warm weight against his back and all Castiel wanted to do was press back into that warmth and go back to sleep, but he couldn't. With a sigh he gently lifted Dean's arm from his waist, slipped out of bed, and padded over to the closet to pull on the clothes he wore for his runs. Grace popped up from her bed when he headed out of the bedroom, careful to be quiet so as not to wake Dean. He checked on Sophie then headed to the kitchen; he allowed himself a few minutes to stretch while he ate a banana and allowed Grace to eat her breakfast.

"We're going to go far today Grace." Grace simply looked up at him, ears perked, tail doing a slow wag behind her. It had been a few weeks since his last run, too busy with work and having Jimmy and Amelia around, too wary of the cold and the ice. He usually ran the four miles to a park in the center of town to get a warm bagel and cup of tea before he turned and headed back home. With this sudden increase of energy that needed to be burned off, he saw himself going much further.

Castiel headed into the living room, Grace trailing along behind him, he didn't bother grabbing her leash, she never strayed from his side during his runs so it was pointless. He grabbed his iPod from the table by the front door and slipped it into its holder strapped around his arm, popped the earbuds into his ears and slipped a light sweater on over his head, slipped on his running shoes and as quiet as he could slid out the front door.

The morning was cool and clear, they'd had a small heat wave come through, warming just enough for the snow and ice to melt. His breath appeared in front of him in small, white clouds before they disappeared into the morning, he did another quick stretch before hitting the play button on his iPod, allowing the music he usually listened to while running fill his ears, blocking out everything but the sound of his blood rushing, his heart pounding and the feeling of his feet slapping on the pavement.

Castiel set off down the sidewalk, Grace keeping pace at his side, _Muse_ playing in his ears, the beat setting the speed at which he ran.

When he reached the park Castiel picked up the pace from a quick jog to a run, _Muse_ slipped into _Mindless Self Indulgence_, the quicker, harder beat perfect for his new pace. He glanced down at Grace to make sure she was doing okay; she was still keeping up with him not at all bothered by the new speed.

Castiel relished the burn of his lungs fighting to pull in enough oxygen, the burn in his calves and thighs as he pushed himself. His heart was pounding, blood rushing through his veins, breath coming out in quick puffs of white mist. It was only now, during these moments that he allowed his mind to kick back in, allowed it to work over whatever had him so restless, so anxious.

Castiel nearly broke his stride when he realized he was worried that Dean may not _want_ another child in their home. Castiel knew he wanted another child, he sometimes felt he had too much love, that he needed more people in this family to give it to, that he would explode if he didn't. It would be good for Sophie as well, she'd grown up with a sister, she was accustomed to having someone else to spend her time with. She got along with Claire amazingly well; she cherished Mary and was never happy whenever the two girls left to go home.

Castiel knew Dean was happy with their family now though, they'd all settled into their new roles; Sophie had fit into their routine with near perfection and fit their lifestyle. Dean may not want another child, may be perfectly happy with how they were now. Dean never had done well with change in the first place. Castiel wanted to expand though, not immediately, in a few years' time after they'd managed to settle more.

He was worried Dean may not want this.

Maybe they should just get Sophie a cat and be done with it. Castiel could handle this, his family now was enough, he could settle for this. He _had_ settled for this, he loved his life now. Loved how close he was to his brothers, to Dean and to Sam and Mary and Sarah and even Bobby. This was enough, he was happy, why risk ruining it?

He slowed his run to a jog, then to a quick walk and finally collapsed down onto a bench in a bus stop. Grace sat beside him and he reached over and absently stroked her head and tugged on her ear. He hadn't seen her a lot this last week, with everyone being there and her hiding out underneath his desk. He'd missed her presence at his side while being with the rest of his family.

"You need to not hide so much." Grace's ear flicked back at him and he sighed and looked around for the first time, wondering how far he'd come from home. Castiel didn't immediately recognize where he was and nearly yelled at himself for not bringing his phone so he could call Dean for a ride back home if he got lost. It had happened once before, he'd gotten so lost in his thoughts he hadn't paid any attention to where he'd gone.

He recognized the street name though when he caught sight of it, he'd come about eight miles from home today and he winced at the thought of having to run back now. He was still restless, still full of energy but his body itself wouldn't be happy with him later.

"Well, I guess we should, as Dean would say, face the music." Castiel stood and turned and jogged back down the street, quickly picking up the fast pace from earlier.

By the time he reached home, his legs were screaming at him along with his lungs, he feared he'd collapse as soon as he stopped moving. Knowing Dean and Sophie would be awake by now he wasn't quiet when he burst into the house, pulling his sweater off and dropping it by the front door. He kicked off his shoes, removed his iPod and immediately headed for the stairs to go up before his legs gave out. Grace headed into the kitchen and straight for her water bowl, Castiel wanted some water himself but he feared if he stopped, he'd never make it up the stairs.

Dean blinked sleepily at him from the bed when Castiel entered their bedroom, Castiel was a little surprised to realize Sophie had yet to come out of her room and Dean had yet to leave the bed, Dean was usually up and moving by now.

"Was wondering where you'd gone off to." Castiel simply grunted at Dean in response. His breath was still coming out in harsh pants, his shirt was sticking to his skin, sweat was running down his back and his hair was plastered to his forehead. He was torn between stripping naked and collapsing in bed for a week or stripping naked and collapsing in the shower for several hours.

Castiel opted for the shower; hot water would feel marvelous on his already aching legs. He pulled his shirt over his head and heard Dean ask, "How far did you run?"

"About sixteen miles, give or take."

"Sixteen…Jesus, Cas." Castiel simply shrugged, pushed his pants and underwear down in one go and briefly enjoyed the way Dean's eyes darkened and trailed from his face to his chest, down to his stomach and lower. Castiel had more pressing matters though, Dean could wait.

Twenty minutes later, he was stepping out of the bathroom and collapsing face first onto the bed with a groan. Dean chuckled and manhandled Castiel so he was all the way on the bed and under the covers.

"Think you went too far Cas."

"It's not the distance Dean; I can go much farther than sixteen miles. I just pushed myself too hard is all." Dean's hand stroked down his bare back, over the curve of his ass and down to his thigh where the muscles were still twitching and aching from the strain he'd put on them. Dean hummed, sighed and rolled off the bed.

"Where are you going?" Castiel muttered into the pillow he'd shoved his face into.

"I'll be right back, don't worry." True to word Dean was back a moment later, pulling the covers off Castiel who grunted in annoyance and said, "Make up your mind, do you want me covered or not."

"Cas if I could have my way you'd be naked and uncovered _all the time_."

"We can move to a nudist colony then."

"It's not other people I want to see naked." The sharp smell of Icy Hot hit Castiel's nose seconds before Dean's hands smoothed over his right calf, fingers kneading into knots and cramping muscles. Castiel moaned and muttered, "Have I told you lately that I love you?"

"Mmm, yeah. Last night as you were coming if I remember correctly." Castiel hummed, sighed and muttered, "That was a good orgasm." Dean snorted from behind him as his hands moved up to Castiel's thigh.

Dean worked on his leg for another five minutes before moving on to his other leg, the Icy Hot leaving his skin tingling and nose burning from the smell, it felt too good to complain though.

Castiel had pretty much dropped off into sleep by the time Dean finished, he was vaguely aware of Dean rolling Castiel over onto his back and pulling on some pajama pants while saying, "Can't have you naked when Sophie comes to crawl into bed with you soon."

As soon as Dean finished tucking Castiel in Sophie entered the room, stepped over Grace who had come in at some point and collapsed in the middle of the floor, and crawled into bed with Castiel. She was nowhere near as awake as she usually was when she came crawling into bed with him, which meant she hadn't slept well, which meant nightmares. Castiel roused himself enough to situate himself comfortably on his back so Sophie could curl up against his side.

"Morning Papa." Castiel hummed, wrapped an arm around her and absently stroked her shoulder with his thumb while he mumbled, "Sleep Sophie. You're safe." She nodded and they both dropped off into sleep together.

* * *

><p>It wasn't until later in the day that Dean finally came and found him. Sophie had gone off with Sarah and Mary, Sarah saying Sophie needed a lack of testosterone for the day. Castiel didn't mind, Sarah was right in a way, Sophie needed a mother figure.<p>

Castiel had finally hit his stride on writing an article that had been giving him trouble for the last few days so he didn't turn to greet Dean when Dean let himself into the office. He listened as Dean threw himself on the couch that they had brought in for Sophie to be able to spend time on when she was in here with Castiel.

Castiel didn't bother speaking; Dean would get to his point eventually, so he just let the music he was listening to and the tap of his fingers on the keyboard fill the silence between them.

Finally, "What are you_ listening_ to?"

"_Cage the Elephant_."

"Weird band name." Castiel rolled his eyes, it was pointless to get in an argument about music with Dean, Dean who was so set in his classic rock and thought everything else was weird no matter what. Castiel continued his writing, only pausing every so often to push his glasses back up his nose. He wanted to take them off, but he knew Dean would go through on his threats to either staple them to Castiel's face or deprive him of blueberries.

The silence stretched for another few minutes then Dean asked, "So, what's this article on?"

"Are you really interested or are you just stalling for what you're really in here to talk about?" Dean scoffed from behind him and said, "I take an interest in your work Cas." Castiel paused in his writing and turned in his chair to give Dean an incredulous look over the rims of his glasses.

Dean grinned at him and said, "You look like a pissed off, hot librarian when you do that." Castiel raised an eyebrow and Dean chuckled, "Gonna punish me for being too loud?"

Castiel turned back to his work and said, "You didn't come in here to discuss your sexual fantasies with me Dean."

"You're such a buzzkill." Castiel shook his head and went back to typing, "So, what's the article on?"

"It's about how language is driven by culture not biology. Now what do you really want to talk about Dean?" Dean sighed and his feet thumped down onto the floor as he sat up straight and said, "Figured it was time to get on about what Sophie said."

"Sophie has said a lot of things."

"Don't play stupid Cas, it's not attractive on you." Castiel felt his brow furrow, "That doesn't-"

"_Cas._" Castiel sighed, saved his progress on his article and turned to face Dean. It was time for _that_ conversation then. He pushed his glasses to the top of his head and stared at Dean, taking in the swirling violet, yellow, blue and gray colors of his soul.

"There's no reason to be nervous or worried Dean. I'm happy either way."

"I hate it when you do that shit with me."

"Maybe you should learn to not project it so clearly then." Dean glared at him and Castiel stared impassively back. Dean huffed a laugh and said, "Well, do you want another kid?"

"Eventually. But like I said Dean, I'm perfectly happy either way." Dean stared at him for a moment, violet and yellow fading into orange, Dean still didn't say anything though.

Castiel sighed and muttered, "I can see you've made a decision Dean, just say it." Dean shot him a glare before rolling his shoulders and muttering, "Maybe we could start doing some research? Jimmy did say it would take a couple years. We do some research on it, wait a bit and start the process?" If it had been physically possible Castiel's heart would have burst with his joy and love for Dean in that moment. Something must have shown on his face though because Dean chuckled and beckoned him over, "Come here you big sap."

"I am not a sap." Castiel joined him anyway though, allowing Dean to situate them to where he was laying mostly on top of Dean, face pressing into Dean's neck while a smile slowly spread on his face.

"You really wanted this huh?" Castiel nodded and Dean grumbled, "Should have just said so doofus."

"I was being honest Dean, I don't mind either way; I just didn't know how you would feel about it."

"I've always wanted a big family. Although I think two kids is enough for us." Castiel hummed, toyed with the collar of Dean's shirt and said, "I was hoping for five."

"Please tell me you're joking." Castiel chuckled, nodded and said, "I'm joking. Two is perfect. Plus we have Mary to join us." Dean nodded his agreement and they fell into silence, Castiel enjoying the warmth of Dean's body and the feel of Dean's hand absently stroking his back.

"We'll have to move stuff around. Or simply move to a bigger house." Castiel frowned and looked up at Dean, he didn't want to move. This was _home_; it was the perfect distance to the school, to Sam and to Bobby. He _liked_ this house. Dean caught Castiel's look, smiled and said, "You're right. We'll just move shit around. We'll move your office down into the guestroom, move Sophie into this room and have the new kid in Sophie's room."

"We should get Sophie a cat in the meantime," Dean frowned down at Castiel, "It would be a good responsibility for her to have, plus it will keep her from pestering us about getting her a new sibling. I don't think she understands how children come to be yet."

"She's got Grace for that."

"Grace isn't hers. I'm the one that cares for Grace, she simply gives the dog attention, they're playmates." Dean snorted, sighed and asked, "A cat? Really?"

"Yes. They're easier to care for than dogs. All she would have to really do is feed it and clean the litter box." Dean made a face, the nodded in agreement, "All right fine. But only because it will keep her from bothering us."

"You don't like cats do you?"

"Eh, they're alright. They're just…standoffish."

"Cats are good to have around."

"Yeah well, you just love all of God's creations. Except for one." Castiel glared up at Dean, an involuntary shudder running through him. Dean chuckled, "You came flying out of that bathroom-"

"Dean, I swear to my Father if you-"

"I didn't know you could scream like a little girl Cas."

"I did not _scream_ I _yelped_."

"It was totally a scream."

"I'd like to see how you react when a very_ big_ spider crawls up your leg while you're naked in the shower."

"It was _not_ that big Cas."

"It was large enough."

"Wasn't even poisonous. Never thought an angel of the Lord would be scared of spiders."

"I was _naked_, and it _crawled up my leg_."

"You can face demons without even blinking but a little spider comes along-" Castiel pinched Dean's side, hard.

"Ow! You ass!"

"_One_ time Dean, it only happened _one_ time."

"And I'm never going to let you live it down either." Castiel growled, shoved away from Dean and headed back for his desk, "I'm going back to work now, you can just…go do whatever it is you do."

"I'll stay here. Protect you from any spiders that might come by." Castiel tossed a large, heavy book in Dean's direction. He dodged it with a laugh, "Don't be bitter baby."

"If you call me baby one more time I'm withholding sex for a week." Dean chuckled, settled himself back on the couch and Castiel went back to work. Five minutes later Dean asked, "Can I call you babe?" Castiel let his head fall onto his desk with a dull _thunk_ and wondered how it was that he loved Dean while Dean simply chuckled from his perch on the couch.


	17. The Darkest Hour Never Comes

Things had been tense in the Winchester-Novak family for several days now, there had been celebration to begin with, happy to have Cas alive and well, but Cas was over it now and was just pissy and annoyed with everyone. Only Sophie and Sarah were saved from his annoyance, Sophie because she was Sophie and would just curl up with him and all would be well. Sarah because she cheated and brought Cas blueberry ice cream every day.

Dean understood Cas' annoyance, he honestly did, but it wasn't Dean's fault Cas had gotten himself mauled by a werewolf and then tossed off a cliff for good measure. It wasn't Dean's fault that the doctors had ordered Cas to stay in bed or on the couch for a few more weeks and to stay away from solid food for a few more days so his stomach could finish its healing.

A couple weeks ago had found Sam, Dean and Cas on a hunt not too far from home; a werewolf was on the loose so they'd gone off to hunt it. Dean could still remember the sound Cas had made as claws had sliced deep into his chest, could remember the rush of anger, the chant of _my Cas, you don't touch_ running through his head. Could remember quite well the way his heart had stopped when he'd seen Cas go over the edge, the fear he'd felt when he'd left Sam to kill the creature and stumble his way down the steep incline, yelling for Cas the whole time.

Doctors had informed Dean that Cas had only survived the fall because of the trees he'd crashed through and the branch that had impaled him. He'd broken his wrist, had a few bruised ribs, the slashes on his chest were deep but not life threatening, then there had been the internal damage from the tree branch that stuck up through his stomach and scared the shit out of Dean. In words Cas was damn lucky to be alive and was going to be okay, which Dean was grateful as fuck for, but he was still unreasonably annoyed at Cas for giving him that kind of scare. Dean couldn't lose Cas, he couldn't. There would be no way in hell that he would endure something like that.

Cas though, was trying his hardest to drive everyone insane. At first he'd been annoyed at Bobby for dropping all his hunts to come back home when he'd heard about Cas. Then he'd been annoyed at Sarah for cancelling her business trip, then annoyed at Sam for closing the bookstore, annoyed at Jimmy for hopping on the first plane from Illinois to South Dakota, then annoyed at Dean for using his vacation time and not calling Jimmy in the first place to keep his brother from panicking.

So Cas had bitched, moaned, and been pissy, yelling at all of them to get the hell out and go back to work and to stop worrying about him so much. He'd finally stopped when Sarah had gotten in his face and yelled that Cas was family, and he'd almost died. So they could fucking worry if they wanted to or not since Cas was what held them all together and kept everyone sane, so they'd worry if they wanted to because they loved him. Cas had shut up and only been grumpy after that, the annoyance only returning when he was allowed home finally.

Dean understood, Cas was only restless; he couldn't eat his favorite foods and couldn't go on his runs to burn off the extra energy. The painkillers kept Cas from working since they made him a bit loopy and unfocused and he refused to work like that. So Dean understood, but it was getting a little old.

He stepped in through the garage and into the kitchen to see Cas standing in front of the stove cooking something that smelled freakin' wonderful.

"Cas, you know you're not supposed to-"

"I know Dean!" Cas snapped, glaring at Dean over his shoulder. Dean shrugged out of his jacket and sighed at Cas, "You don't have to make dinner you know, Jimmy said he'd-"

"Maybe I want to make dinner. Maybe I want to do something other than sitting on the couch or lying in bed all damn day!" Dean held up his hands in mock surrender and crossed his arms over his chest, returning the glare Cas was sending at him. Cas sighed and looked away first, turning the stove off before turning to face Dean, shoulders hunched and eyes cast down, staring intently at his feet.

"I'm sorry Dean." Dean softened immediately; he was so whipped, as Jimmy liked to point out.

"It's okay Cas; I know you're just restless."

"I shouldn't be taking it out on you though, or Jimmy and Sam. It's not right." Dean opened his mouth to respond, say he understood because Dean was the same whenever he was reduced to having people do everything for him. Cas held up his good hand though to silence Dean and Dean watched as he shuffled forward, looking up at Dean through his ridiculously long lashes.

"I'm sorry," he hooked a finger through one of Dean's belt loops and pulled Dean forward until he could lay his forehead on Dean's shoulder, "Forgive me?" Dean chuckled and rested his hands on Cas' hips, thumbs slipping under the thin t-shirt to rub at the smooth, warm skin there, "Of course I forgive you Cas, I'm the same way, so I understand." Cas sighed, nodded and rested more of his weight against Dean. Dean pressed his nose into Cas' thick hair, took in the smell of his peppermint shampoo, cooking oil and blueberries before he muttered, "I haven't made it any easier I know, I've been a huge mother-hen."

"Understatement." They stood like that for a while before Cas pulled away to return to his cooking. Dean watched him for a moment, quelling the urge to ask if Cas was okay and if he needed anything, instead he asked, "Where's Jimmy and Sophie?"

"They went to town to get a few things for dessert." Good, that meant pie.

Jimmy had burst into the hospital six hours after Cas had been admitted, pissed off and demanding to know why he'd had to hear about Cas from the hospital calling him instead of hearing it from Dean. Honestly, Dean had been thinking of calling him in a few days when they knew for sure how Cas would be. Jimmy, Amelia and Claire had only left a week before to return home, he didn't think Jimmy would come out again so soon. Jimmy had banished that thought by getting up in Dean's face and growling out, "Nothing would keep you from Sam. Nothing is going to keep me from Cas, we're brothers now, we share DNA and have shared headspace, I know him better than you ever will so don't pretend to know how I would react."

Two days later when Cas was coherent enough, Jimmy had announced that he'd talked with Amelia and they were going to move from Pontiac to Sioux Falls so they could be closer to everyone.

That too had pissed Cas off, but Dean had seen the joy in his eyes before he'd managed to hide it, Dean knew Cas would love having Jimmy closer. So Jimmy moved into the guestroom, watched over Cas during the day when Dean was at work and searched the local houses for sale while Amelia and Claire packed house back in Pontiac. Dean didn't mind, he liked Jimmy, liked how Jimmy made Cas more human and gave him the constant comfort that Cas craved.

They heard the front door open, heard Sophie race into the living room and heard her exasperated sigh before she came tearing into the kitchen shouting, "Papa! You're not supposed to be up!" Sophie had taken on her role as Cas' nurse like a duck to water, and she was dead serious about it too, which just made her all the more adorable.

When Sarah had brought Sophie to the hospital after school, Dean had had to explain that Cas had been hurt, not exactly his favorite moment. Sophie had fallen silent, much like she had been the night Cas had found her, and she refused to leave Dean's side for anything, refused to go to school and refused to leave Cas' side when they were finally able to see him. She'd been sleeping in their bed lately too, clinging to Cas and only sleeping peacefully when she was squeezed between the two of them.

"Well I've got your father over there keeping his eye on me, so I think I'll be okay." Sophie stood with her arms crossed, glaring up at Cas with her eyes narrowed and jaw jutted out. It was the same look Cas got when he was being stubborn about something, she looked so much like Cas it was hard to believe they weren't actually related in some way.

Sophie made an 'hmmph' sound, glared up at Cas, looked at Dean, returned her attention to Cas and said, "We got you a present."

"Is that so?"

"It's in the living room. On the couch." The _where you're supposed to be_ was left unsaid but heard anyway. Cas narrowed his eyes at Sophie, Sophie returned the look and Dean leaned back against the counter and enjoyed the show. Jimmy entered the kitchen then, leaned next to Dean and said, "I'll finish dinner Cas, you two go and watch TV or something." Cas sighed and muttered, "This is a battle I'm not going to win is it?"

"It really isn't." Dean and Jimmy grinned at the glare Cas shot them then he handed his wooden spoon over to Jimmy, took Sophie's hand, and shuffled into the living room with her. A moment later Cas' deep, throaty chuckle floated into the kitchen and Dean turned to Jimmy and asked, "What did you get him?"

"Go see for yourself." Dean turned and headed into the living room where Cas was on the couch, Sophie was kneeling on the floor putting something on Cas' feet. When Dean saw what it was, he sighed, rolled his eyes and asked, "Really? Don't you have enough?"

"I only have the one pair Dean." Sophie finished putting the sock on Cas' foot; Cas held it up and wiggled his toes at Dean, a wide grin spreading across his face. Sophie lifted Cas' other foot and began putting the other red fuzzy toe sock on Cas' foot.

"Plus the other pair I have aren't toe socks, just plain socks."

"The joy you get from socks is disturbing." Dean collected his guns and knives, but Cas had his small collection of socks. Most were regular socks, some were toe socks, but all of them were striped, brightly colored or had strange little designs on them. Dean didn't understand Cas' fascination with it all, but Cas loved his socks and Dean figured it was better than pills or alcohol.

Cas simply rolled his eyes, wiggled his toes again and pulled Sophie up from the floor and onto his lap when she was done. Dean settled himself on the couch next to the two of them, smiled when Cas leaned against his side, attention on the movie he must have put in before settling on the couch.

The three of them just sat there for the next thirty minutes, Dean enjoying the warmth of Cas' body pressed against his side, Sophie enjoying the movie and Cas dozing off a little due to the painkillers he'd taken not long ago, the fact that Dean was gently massaging the back of his neck probably didn't help either. They all jumped when the front door opened and Sarah entered the house, "I come bearing your new family member!" Sophie immediately leapt off of Cas' lap shouting, "Socks is here!"

'Socks' being the cat they'd adopted a few days ago. Dean, Sophie, Sam and Sarah had gone to the pound the other day to get a cat for Sophie like he and Cas had planned not too long ago. It'd taken awhile, since they needed one that got along with dogs and had enough patience to deal with a five year old. They'd finally come across a stray cat that had no name, he was a dark charcoal gray color with black stripes, a white chest, chin and paws. Sophie had loved him immediately, and dubbed him Socks since his white paws made it seem like he was wearing socks. He'd needed to finish a series of shots, have a check up and be neutered before they could bring him home, Sarah had agreed to pick him up today since Dean had had to work and Cas was in no way allowed out to do things on his own yet.

Dean and Cas stayed on the couch, watching as the two girls cooed over the cat through the carrier door. Cas hadn't seen the cat at all, was probably curious about it, but he was too drowsy and boneless against Dean's side to want to get up.

When they opened the carrier door Socks immediately shot out and disappeared into the guest bedroom down the hall. Sophie started to go after him but stopped when Cas called to her, she rejoined them on the couch along with Sarah and Cas said, "He'll come out when he's ready Sophie. He's just frightened; he doesn't know where he is."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. When he's ready, he'll come out, explore the house, and settle in with us. In a few days he'll be acting like a cat." Sophie nodded, sighed, and settled back on Cas' lap to finish watching the movie.

After dinner and after Sarah had left and Jimmy had disappeared into the guestroom to have his nightly call with Amelia and Claire, Socks finally appeared. He skirted around the lower part of the house, checking everything out, he even paused by Grace and gave the dog a curious sniff. Grace of course just licked his head and went back to sleep.

"Your dog is a freak dude." Cas simply sighed and went on ignoring Dean. Sophie came over to say goodnight to them, Cas finally having talked her into spending the night in her own bed. When she disappeared upstairs with Socks following her Dean managed to get Cas coherent enough to get him up to bed as well.

When Dean finally joined Cas under the covers, all the lights turned off and windows closed against the January chill, Dean allowed himself to relax. Cas insinuated himself in Dean's space, moving until he'd gotten Dean's arm draped over his waist and his legs tangled with Dean's. The air was chilly in their room so he just pulled Cas closer and tightened his grip, enjoying the excessive heat that poured of off Cas' body. Cas let out a satisfied sigh at the further contact and pressed his face against Dean's neck muttering, "I thought you didn't cuddle."

"This isn't cuddling. This is manly huddling for extra warmth." Dean felt Cas' chest vibrate with his silent laughter, "Right. Of course." Dean slipped a hand underneath Cas' shirt, stroked the soft skin of his lower back, and whispered, "I love you Cas, I just want you to know that."

"I know you do Dean."

"Yeah well, I don't say it often enough." Cas sighed, his own fingers idly tracing designs onto Dean's side, "You do. Just not with words."

"The whole soul thing?" Cas nodded and added, "And your actions. You're not a man of words Dean."

"Actions speak louder than words huh?" Cas chuckled, "With you yes."

"In any case, I love you, Cas."

"I love you too, Dean."

"Well I know you do, since you're a big sap you make it painfully obvious all the time." Dean felt Cas' scowl against his neck, "I am not a sap." Dean rolled his eyes but didn't push it now; he rather liked having Cas' weight and warmth pressed against him. If Dean pointed out that the wallpaper on Cas' laptop was a black and white picture of Grace or that the new phone Sam had given Cas for Christmas (it was one of those damn iPhones that everyone and their mother had and Cas was totally in love with the stupid thing) had a background picture of Dean pressing a sloppy kiss to Cas' cheek while Cas beamed and had his nose scrunched up adorably due to the extra slobber, he would roll away from Dean and be a grouch to him in the morning. Dean didn't want that at the moment, so he kept his mouth shut and just held Cas a little bit tighter, mindful of the bruises and bandages Cas was still sporting.

"Night Cas." Cas shifted a little, pressed a warm kiss to Dean's neck and whispered, "Goodnight Dean."


	18. Lost 'til You're Found, Part 1

Okay! So...this..._this_ is what's been keeping me from updating as regularly as I should have been on other things. I've been working on this puppy for about a month now and it's taken over my brain and wormed its way in and wouldn't really let me write anything else.

So...yeah. There's that excuse.

I've split it into two parts, since it's _long_, 30 pages and 15,677 words, whew. Longest oneshot I've ever written in the history of ever.

It's also pretty much been co-written between myself and **Susangel**. It was her idea, she got me thinking with her little comment of "you ever wonder what happened to Cas when he got dragged back to Heaven in 4.20?" Which...of course I have. And naturally I decided to embark on thinking about it and then writing it and then pestering her for ideas for it. Which turned into me going "you know, we should just collaborate on this."

Thankfully she agreed to that.

_So_, a good chunk of this is her genius, most of the dialogue and torture scenes are from her mind and I just put them down into coherent sentences. I don't know what urged me to place it into my 'verse, but I did so therefore some angst once again found it's way into my fluffy little world. Don't worry, there's still fluff going on in here.

Anyway, praise **Susangel** for her brilliance and patience and for cracking the whip at me because otherwise I would have been stuck on this forever and wouldn't have gotten anywhere on any of my other stories. She's amazing and I love her to itty bitty pieces and you guys should totally love her like that too. Hopefully now I can get back to updating Million Little Things and Sweet Tyranny for you guys before ya'll came at with pitchforks and torches.

So I hope you enjoy this, it was fun writing it and torturing myself over it and pestering Su about it with endless emails in the middle of the night and my consistent whining that it was never going to get done but Hallelujah it is done and I'm wiping my hands of it.

Little warning, there is torture, other than that though, ya'll are set to read. So, enjoy, don't forget to review and don't forget to praise **Susangel** as well since the majority of dialogue/idea/torture scenes are pretty much all on her. I was just the mouthpiece.

Oh...one more little thing. I apologize for any mistakes that may still be here. I read over it as well as I could but I went and got myself infected somehow and am happily trippin' on Nyquil and am poppin' cough drops like they're candy. So I'm a bit out of it and bit woozy and probably didn't catch everything I should have. I'm done now.

Read on!

* * *

><p>"<em>Lost 'til you're found, swim 'til you drown<em>

_Know that we all fall down_

_Love 'til you hate, strong 'til you break_

_Know that we all fall down_

_If ever your world starts crashing down_

_Whenever your world starts crashing down_

_That's where you'll find me."_

All Fall Down - OneRepublic

* * *

><p>"What do you think Cas? Demon?" Castiel turned from surveying the surrounding area to look at Sam; he nodded and pointed towards a warehouse across the street.<p>

"It's in there."

"I've never been happier to have your radar around Cas; this is much quicker than searching_ all_ of the buildings." Castiel nodded his agreement and the two moved towards the door, Sam holding the Colt down by his side while Castiel adjusted the grip on his old sword. It felt different now, not as light and more awkward than anything in his grip, but it still did the job and he still handled it with the ease that only thousands of years of practice could produce.

Sam nodded from his position on the right side of the door, Colt up and ready to fire as Castiel pushed the door open, allowing Sam to enter first before he followed closely behind.

The screaming was the first thing that Castiel became aware of, followed closely by the smell. What little he had left of his angelic senses picked up on the demons presence towards the back of the warehouse, the smell of decay and hellfire was strong and only getting stronger as they got closer to the demon.

Castiel placed a hand on Sam's shoulder, halting their progress, "It knows we're here."

"There goes the element of surprise then."

Castiel shook his head and whispered, "It doesn't know who we are, it just wants to go back to Hell, thinks we're here to exorcise it, not kill it."

"That's good at least."

"Just shoot it Sam, don't bother with talking to it. I'll get the man down." Sam nodded and strode forward while Castiel circled around towards the back where the demon's latest victim would be. The screaming cut off when Sam's voice echoed through the warehouse, pulling the demons attention away. Castiel moved forward, out from behind stacks of boxes to where the demon had strung up his victim, Jacob Matthews, much like the demons had done to the souls on racks in Hell. He'd been strung up-

-_by his wings, heavy chains made of metal that couldn't be found on Earth, sigils carved into the surface keep Castiel contained, unable to fight. He was hanging by his wings, sharp hooks piercing them just underneath the arch of bone. He'd learned to stop struggling hours ago, his movements causing the hooks to dig deeper, cause more damage. The pain was immense, unlike anything he's ever felt before-_

"Cas! _Castiel_!" Castiel blinked, tore his gaze away from the chains holding Jacob up by his wrists, Sam was unhooking Jacob, the demon dead on the ground behind him.

"Cas! Get over here and help me get him down!" Castiel nodded and rushed over, accepting the key Sam must have pulled off the demon to unlock the cuffs around the man's ankles. The two of them got Jacob to the car and to the nearest hospital, both of them leaving before they could be questioned by doctors or cops.

The ride back to the hotel was silent, Sam didn't ask what happened with Castiel and Castiel didn't explain anything. He frowned at his reflection in the window, why now of all times would he think about when he'd been dragged back to Heaven? He hadn't thought about his time in Zachariah's 'rehabilitation' for years. Why would he suddenly go back to the time he'd been dragged back to Heaven, which had ended up being months of torture for him while only a few days had passed on Earth?

"Cas…are you okay?" Castiel drew himself back to the present, turned his attention to Sam who was looking at him with worry, forehead creased and brows drawn together. They were at the hotel, must have been for a while now for Sam to be concerned with Castiel's lack of response.

"I'm fine Sam."

"You sure? You've been spaced out for a couple minutes now."

Castiel sighed, shrugged and reached for the door handle, "Just tired I guess." Sam nodded; not looking very convinced but got out of the car as well, letting them into the hotel room where they went their separate ways for a while. Sam disappeared into the shower and Cas turned his phone back on so he could call home and let Dean know everything was okay.

"So, just a demon thinking he'd be sent back to Hell huh?" Castiel sat down on the bed with a sigh, "Yes, he was one of those demons that prefer the torturing of souls rather than causing trouble up here."

"Well at least he didn't cause you guys any trouble, went down without a fight."

"Yes, easy case, we should be home by tomorrow."

"Good, Sophie and Grace are driving me nuts dude. Do-

_-you really think you can make a difference Castiel?" Castiel stared up at Zachariah as his superior paced in front of him. Ramiel and Hamael stood on either side of him, Ramiel holding Castiel's sword, which was dripping with Castiel's blood. Zachariah probably found it poetic, torturing Castiel with his own blade._

_Castiel watched as Zachariah snapped his fingers at Ramiel who handed Castiel's blade over without comment or question. Castiel didn't know why both Ramiel and Hamael are needed here, his wings are useless now, bones broken and delicate flesh torn. Every small movement of his shoulders and back sends bolts of excruciating pain through damaged nerves. _

_Hamael looks slightly worried as Zachariah opens a small vial of thick red liquid, Castiel immediately knew what it was, smelled the sulfur from where he's kneeling, he knows what will happen. He gazed up at Hamael, trying to catch his brother's eye, tried to beg and plead without actually speaking. Hamael though, drew his wings tighter against his back and fixed his gaze elsewhere. Ramiel is the same, wings tight to his back, fists clenched and gaze elsewhere._

_Castiel tried to get their attention, tried to ask for help, reached out with his grace, pleading for them to _say_ something, to _help_ him. But they continued to ignore-_

"_Cas_!" Castiel blinked rapidly, taking in the fading yellow paint of the wall across from him, the stained brown carpet beneath his shoes, "Damnit Cas, would you answer me!"

"I'm here Dean, I'm sorry I was…distracted." Castiel's hands were shaking, he shoved the one currently not holding the phone to his ear between his thigh and the bedspread, the other clutched his phone so tightly the plastic creaked ominously.

"Must have been a hell of a distraction." Castiel sighed, closed his eyes and whispered, "I'm sorry Dean, I should go. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Cas, wait-" Castiel ended the call before Dean could keep him on the phone, get him talking. This wasn't something Castiel wished to discuss, he doesn't understand it himself so there would be no help from Dean knowing. He doesn't understand why this is happening, doesn't understand _what_ is happening.

Castiel leaned forward until his elbows were resting on his knees, bringing his hands up to rub at his forehead and temples, this is not something Castiel needed happening to him now. He certainly does not need to go and lose his mind because of it either.

"Not getting a migraine are you?" Castiel jumped at Sam's voice coming from behind him, he hadn't heard the bathroom door open or the shower shut off.

"No, just…tired."

"Well, hop in the shower. If we leave in an hour we can hit home by dinner tomorrow night." Castiel nodded, ignoring the worried look Sam was giving him, gathered clean clothes and a towel and locked himself in the bathroom.

By the time Castiel emerged from the bathroom Sam had everything but Castiel's things packed and put away in the car. Castiel dressed and packed quickly, he understood Sam's desire to get home as soon as possible, he too wanted to get back home.

"Hey Cas, sure you're okay?" They'd managed several hours in silence, nothing but the radio playing quietly in the background to break it; Castiel looked over at Sam, saw the concerned look again and looked away from him. He couldn't bear to see Sam looking at him like that right now, didn't want to think about what Sam's thinking about.

"I'm fine Sam."

"You're sure? You've been acting awfully spacey since the warehouse; you didn't get whammied with anything did you? Dean'll kill me if something happens to you." Castiel smiled slightly at his reflection in the window, "Don't worry Sam, I'm fine."

"If you're sure. Why don't you take a nap or something if you're that tired, I'll wake you up for dinner." Castiel nodded, he could go for a nap, and he'd for once gotten up early that morning to go on a run and to finish the research from the night before. Sam's car wasn't as comfortable as the Impala, but Castiel shifted until he was in a comfortable enough position and soon drifted off.

_Castiel had been healed more times than he could count, he was strapped down on a table now, arms and legs bound down by his sides, wings spread out across the small room. Zachariah was there, along with Ramiel, Hamael has long since been dismissed, Zachariah had probably sensed the other angel's distress and discomfort about what they had been doing to Castiel._

_Castiel couldn't understand Hamael's discomfort, they hadn't been particularly close, were from different garrisons. Ramiel, however, they were close, as close as angels could be to one another. They'd trained together, fought together, spent time on Earth with him along with Uriel, Anael and Balthazar. Ramiel seemed not to remember any of this as he turned to Castiel, Castiel's sword in his hands; the tip had been dipped into the container of blood. Castiel knew what was coming, but no matter how he braced himself, no matter how many times he'd try to bite back his screams he always failed._

_The first cut was shallow but ran along the base of his wing, an angel's most sensitive area. The demon's blood spread like wildfire through his body, even the smallest trace was painful, it cut deep down, to his very core, ate away at his grace and left scars that would never heal._

_Another cut, at the base of his other wing, deeper this time, much more painful. Castiel tried to hold in his screams, tried not to whimper and cry out. Tried not to beg Ramiel to stop, to just let him go. They were _brothers_ surely brothers didn't do such things to one another; surely this wasn't how it was supposed to be._

"_You're thinking too much like a human still Castiel." Zachariah's voice came from behind Castiel, Castiel shifted slightly so he could see Zachariah pacing along the back wall of the small room they were in._

"_You need to remember who you truly are Castiel. You're just a foot solider, nothing more, nothing less. You do as you're told and you do it without question. Do you understand?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Are you willing to obey your orders now Castiel?"_

"_No." Zachariah made a disgusted noise from behind Castiel, he nodded at Ramiel and another, much deeper cut went into his side, demons blood setting fire to his grace._

"_I don't understand your fascination with this human Castiel. He's nothing, we could crush him without a single thought yet you do as he asks without question, following his orders as swiftly as you should follow mine, yet you don't."_

_Another cut, followed by another and another and another. Castiel could feel the blood taking hold, could feel his grace working harder to get rid of the infection, much like a humans immune system. His limbs were shaking, his temperature rose as his grace fought, he felt strange, like he was flying even though he wasn't. He blinked a few times but the room continued to dip and curve, Zachariah's voice was far away, echoing strangely in the room._

_Distantly Castiel heard the sound of his sword being set down; faintly he felt Ramiel's hands on his right wing, gentle but firm, gently stroking and soothing the ruffled feathers. Castiel knew not to relax as much as he wanted to, but this was something different, the first time Ramiel has touched his wings like this, with something like regret._

_The first snap of bone was loud in the quiet room and Castiel-_

-bolted upright, his scream caught in his throat. Sam stopped shaking him, his eyes wide with concern, "Jesus, Cas, you were really out." Castiel blinked at him, breath coming out in harsh pants, a phantom ache along his back where his wings used to be.

"Was it a nightmare?" Castiel looked over to Sam, hesitated then nodded. He took a moment to take in where they were, a parking lot in front of a diner; he must have slept clear through to dinner time.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No. I'm fine Sam; let's just get something to eat." Sam stared hard at him, brows furrowing before he sighed and climbed out of the car grumbling, "Dean is a bad influence on you."

Castiel couldn't find it in himself to argue as he followed Sam into the diner.

* * *

><p>Dean frowned at the wall in front of him, Sam's voice coming in quiet and quick over the phone, "I don't know Dean, something is off with Cas."<p>

"Define 'off' Sammy." He heard Sam's sigh, could imagine the bitch face he'd be pulling right now.

"I don't know Dean. He's been spacey since we left the warehouse, and he had a nightmare in the car." Dean felt himself frown again, Cas didn't really do nightmares, didn't do dreams period. Several centuries of not sleeping or dreaming apparently having rubbed off on Cas, leaving his sleep mostly dreamless. There was the occasional _happy _dream and if something happened to Dean on a hunt an occasional nightmare about Dean dying, nothing beyond that though.

"It was a pretty intense one too, took me forever to wake him up." Dean rubbed a hand over his face, something was off with Cas, he knew this. Cas hadn't been his full self in their earlier phone conversation, including the whole 'distracted' thing. Distracted Dean's ass, he'd heard the harsh breathing, the few stray whimpers, Cas was going through _something_ and he didn't want to tell.

"I'll talk to him when you guys get home Sam. Not much I can do over the phone." Especially if the asshole hung up on him like he had earlier.

"Alright. We'll be there this time tomorrow." Dean nodded even though Sam couldn't see it, hung up, and turned to look into the living room. Sophie was curled up on the couch with Grace who looked extraordinarily displeased with the situation, Cas had wanted to take her with him on the hunt but Sophie had refused, claiming Grace needed to stay behind to help Socks acclimate to his new home.

Sophie looked over at him with a large grin and asked, "Papa gonna be home soon?"

"Yeah, this time tomorrow night." Sophie let out an excited squeal and jumped off the couch and headed for Dean, she slammed into his legs and wrapped herself around him. Grace watched them from the couch, a large sigh escaping from her. The dog could be a bigger drama queen than Sam sometimes.

"Jeez Sophie, he's only been gone for two days."

"Two days is two days too long!" Dean couldn't help himself; he grinned down at her and lifted her into a hug until she squirmed to be let down. She bounced back over to the couch, situating herself around Grace again and turned her attention to the movie on TV. Dean had such a great family.

The next day when Cas came home he could see instantly something was wrong, he was distracted and fidgety, there were dark circles under his eyes which were flicking everywhere instead of focusing in on Dean like a tractor beam. He even _jumped_ when Sam slammed the front door shut behind them, he smiled through when Sophie barreled into him, hugged her tight and close and did the same with Dean.

When everything had calmed down and Sam had left to return to his own family, Dean followed Cas into the kitchen, watching as he opened the fridge and peered in at the contents. Dean leaned against the counter, arms crossed over his chest as Cas began pulling ingredients out for dinner.

"So." Cas' eyes flicked over to Dean then back to the fridge, "So?"

"Going to tell me what's up Cas? Or am I going to have to guess?" He saw Cas' brows furrow, his mouth tightened and those blue eyes flicked over to Dean again, all sure signs he was hiding something.

"There's nothing going on Dean."

"Sam said you had a nightmare."

"Nightmares aren't uncommon."

"They are for you." Cas sighed and headed for the sink to wash his hands. Dean snagged him around the waist as he passed and pulled him back, turning Cas so they were facing each other.

"Sam also said you were acting spacey and not all together."

"Sam meddles."

"He's worried about you."

"There's nothing to be worried about." Dean sighed and pulled Cas closer so their hips and chests were pressed together, "Cas, there's _something_ going on here."

"Dean I'm _fine_. Sam is just reading too much into a simple situation. There's no need to worry yourselves." Dean stared at Cas who stared right back, Dean knew there was something going on here, could see the exhaustion and weariness in those familiar blue eyes.

"You remember your first migraine Cas?" One of Cas' hands slid around Dean's waist, fingertips pressing into the tense muscles of his lower back, Cas nodded and continued the one handed massage, he was trying to distract Dean, but it wasn't going to work this time. Not yet anyway.

"Well, Gabriel said you could easily have gone insane. So you're not…you know…going crazy?" Cas chuckled and rested his forehead against Dean's shoulder, then he sighed, pulled away from Dean and headed for the sink again.

"No Dean, I'm not losing my mind."

"Are you sure? Maybe we should call Gabriel down to check, crazy people don't think they're the crazy ones you know." Cas rolled his eyes at Dean and returned to his assortment of dinner ingredients spread over the kitchen counter.

"You don't need to bring Gabriel into all of this, there's nothing to worry about." Cas pulled a cutting board from its spot, set an onion on it and reached for one of the knives in the cutting board. Dean opened his mouth to speak but stopped when he noticed Cas had frozen, eyes locked on the knife he'd pulled free, they quickly lost their focus and Dean could tell Cas' mind had gone elsewhere.

"Cas?" No response. Dean frowned and walked over to Cas, rested a hand on his shoulder and shook him a little. Cas' shoulder was rigid under Dean's hand, his eyes were focused on something not in the kitchen and his breaths were coming out in quick, harsh pants.

"Cas!" Nothing. Dean shook him harder, gently slapped a cheek and prodded Cas in his ticklish spot on his side. Nothing got a response, Cas was just…gone. Dean was close to panicking and calling Gabriel or 911, _something,_ when Cas finally snapped out of it, blinking rapidly and staring down at the knife in shock.

"Cas?" Cas blinked over at him, stared back down at the knife he currently had a death grip on and said, "Dean."

"Okay, after seeing that there is no way you're fine Cas."

"I am fine. I guess I'm still tired."

"There's no way that was from exhaustion. It was like you weren't even here anymore! What the hell is going on with you Cas?"

"Nothing Dean."

"Cas, damnit-" Cas slammed the knife down onto the counter, glared over at Dean and snapped, "I said I'm _fine_! Just back off!" Dean watched in shock as Cas turned and stormed out of the kitchen, and stomped up the stairs, a few seconds after that the door to what Dean assumed was the office slammed shut.

Sophie poked her head into the kitchen, a frown on her face as she asked, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing Sophie. How about pizza for dinner tonight?" Sophie nodded, grinned, and disappeared back into the living room. Dean sighed and stared at the knife that Cas had left on the kitchen counter, he would need the big guns for this issue.

* * *

><p>Castiel stayed hidden in the office for the rest of the night, he hadn't meant to snap at Dean, hadn't meant to storm away but he'd done it all anyway. He couldn't tell if he was ashamed, embarrassed or still annoyed. He was possibly all three. He just didn't want to face Dean right now, Castiel was <em>tired<em>, he wanted to sleep but then again he didn't because when he slept he dreamt. Castiel had never really remembered his dreams, he knew he had them because every human had dreams, but he just didn't remember them. These though, were more than dreams, they were _memories_. What was happening to him had dawned on him in the kitchen after the knife had triggered another memory to come up from the depths of his mind.

Memories of being dragged back to Heaven, Zachariah's torture to break him and return Castiel to Heaven's way. _Zachariah's_ way, keep him from warning Dean and Sam the plans that had been laid out for them. Since he'd had his grace to cushion the memories, since he'd always been too busy with the Apocalypse and searching for God the memories had never bothered him. Now they were back, filtering in through his subconscious and reminding him he'd been through something any normal person would have issues with.

What had Sam called it when Dean had relived his memories of Hell? PTSD, something Castiel was now experiencing with his memories of Heaven. Just why _now_ of all things confused him, he'd been human for years now, what had set him off?

Castiel sighed and buried his face into the couch cushions. He'd tried to work earlier but he couldn't focus enough. He just wanted to forget again, move on from this and be happy with his life like he had been.

There was a quiet knock on the office door before it opened and Sophie's head poked through, "Papa?" Castiel sat upright and forced a smile for her.

"Yes, Sophie?"

"Tuck me in?" Castiel glanced at his watch, winced at the time and stood, more than happy for the distraction of tucking her in. Sophie grinned up at him, took his hand and the two headed down the hallway and into her bedroom. Grace was waiting for them on Sophie's bed, her tail thumping against the covers when her eyes landed on Castiel.

Grace hopped off the bed when Sophie crawled into it; Castiel sat down on the edge, pulled the blankets up around her chin and tucked them in around her sides. She giggled up at him and the sound lifted his heavy heart.

"Would you like a story?" Her latest favorite was _Where the Wild Things Are_; Castiel found himself enjoying the story as well and wouldn't mind reading some more of it to her tonight. Sophie hummed in thought though before shaking her head, "Sing to me instead?"

"Very well." Castiel stood and turned off the overhead light and made sure the small lamp on her desk was turned on. Sophie moved over on her bed, making space for Castiel to sit beside her, when he was settled she turned onto her side, rested her head against Castiel's side and slung her arm over his waist.

Castiel waited until she was settled before he draped his arm over her, lightly stroking her shoulder while he began singing an old Enochian song. It may have been considered a lullaby a long time ago, but now it was simply a song of love and peace, he sang it often to Mary when he was putting her to sleep and Sophie had a love for the song as well.

By the time he was halfway through Sophie was a warm, sleeping weight against his side. Castiel smiled down at her, gently slid out from underneath her and tucked her back in underneath her blankets before slipping out of her room, Grace following behind him.

Castiel spotted Dean standing in the doorway to their bedroom, arms crossed over his chest, his eyes followed Castiel as he left Sophie's room and Castiel felt his cheeks flush with his shame from earlier. He wasn't ready to confront Dean with all of this, didn't want Dean to worry, so Castiel turned and rushed into his office, closing the door after allowing Grace to slip in behind him.

He heard Dean sigh on the other side of the door and heard his footsteps heading downstairs to lock up for the night. Castiel didn't intend to sleep in the office, he would go and crawl into bed with Dean when Dean had fallen asleep, and perhaps he was taking the cowards way about this but he just wasn't ready to face Dean yet. Wasn't ready to face anyone.

Castiel dozed fitfully on the small couch, partially out of fear of falling asleep and dreaming and partially because the couch was _small_ which made it uncomfortable. Grace lay on the floor, head resting on her paws; she was close enough for Castiel to touch whenever he let his hand trail over the side of the couch.

It was around four in the morning when Castiel finally decided Dean would have fallen asleep, he had to get up early to go to work so he wouldn't stay up waiting for Castiel, he was pretty sure of this.

Castiel crept into their room, Grace sticking his side like glue. He changed out of his clothes quickly, opting only for pajama bottoms since it was still warm outside from the spring heat wave they were experiencing. He crawled into bed, wincing when Grace leapt up onto her spot on the bottom of the bed. She rarely slept up on the bed now, preferring her own bed over in the corner instead of being kicked by wayward feet while the two men slept. Dean didn't move though, Castiel knew he was faking his sleep since anything and everything would wake Dean up.

It was several minutes before Dean rolled over, his hand landing on Castiel's bare arm, thumb stroking the soft skin there.

"Cas, you awake?" Castiel remained silent, kept his eyes shut and his breathing slow and even. He could fake just as well as Dean when he wanted to.

Dean sighed and whispered, "I'm sorry okay? I didn't mean to piss you off." Apparently, Dean knew when Castiel was faking just as well as Castiel knew when Dean was faking.

With a sigh, Castiel rolled over, looked at Dean and muttered, "I'm not angry Dean. I was just…"

"Just what?" Castiel hesitated and Dean slid his arm over Castiel's waist, pulling him close.

"Embarrassed I suppose. I didn't mean to shout at you."

"It's okay Cas."

"You should sleep Dean; you have to get up early for work." Dean nodded and kissed Castiel's shoulder, his breathing evened out in sleep shortly after.

Sleep didn't find Castiel at all that night.

Castiel was walking the fine line of sleep and wakefulness when he heard the bedroom door open and shut quietly. Grace shifted down by his feet but didn't raise any kind of alarm so he continued lying where Dean had left him earlier that morning.

"Cas?"

Castiel sighed and opened his eyes, Jimmy was peering down at him a look of concern on his face. Apparently, Dean was trying to gang up on Castiel.

"Hello Jimmy."

"Whatcha still doing in bed?" Castiel shrugged and watched as Jimmy sat on the edge of the bed, his hand coming to rest on Castiel's foot.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine Jimmy."

"Dean and Sam seem to think otherwise."

"They're being overbearing." Jimmy smiled and patted Castiel's foot, "Want some time to yourself today? I can take Sophie to the movies; Claire has wanted to see her anyway." Castiel thought about it, as much as he did want to be left alone Sophie was a nice distraction from everything that was going on in his head.

"Sure Jimmy, if you want to."

"Awesome. Why don't you get your lazy ass out of bed and make us some breakfast then before we head out?" Castiel nodded and dragged himself out of bed, pulled on a shirt and followed Jimmy downstairs where Sophie was occupied with watching her morning cartoons. Castiel was slightly disappointed that she hadn't come and crawled into bed with him that morning; Jimmy must have told her not to.

Sophie immediately shot up off the couch when she spotted him; she slammed into his legs, wrapped her arms around him and beamed, "Morning Papa!"

Castiel managed an actual smile, tugged on her hair, "Morning Sophie. Pancakes?"

"Yes!" Nothing out of the ordinary happened during breakfast; Castiel made them all pancakes and bacon, and listened as Jimmy and Sophie made plans for the day. They would be going to the movies and to the zoo, which would leave Castiel alone for most of the day.

Part of him was happy about this, the other not so much.

It was nearing late afternoon when Jimmy, Claire and Sophie came home. Castiel was relieved to hear them, the silence in the house was oppressing and he'd run out of things to do to keep himself occupied. Castiel listened with a small smile as he heard Sophie shout for him, run into the living room and then into the kitchen where he was currently seated.

"Papa!" She plowed into his legs, clambered up onto his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging tight before saying, "I love you Papa."

"I love you too Sophie. Why don't you just ask me what it is you want instead of trying to soften me up?" Sophie giggled, settled herself onto his lap and said, "I want a penguin." Castiel heard Jimmy snort from where he was standing in the kitchen doorway and Castiel felt his eyebrows rise.

"A penguin?"

"Yes."

"We just got you a cat Sophie, don't you think you should spend some time with Socks first? Before you get a penguin?"

"Socks would understand." Castiel chuckled, patted her back and said, "I'm sure he would, but we can't get a penguin, I'm sorry." Sophie pouted, sighed and slid off his lap.

"Well, I tried, but it seems like neither of us is getting a penguin." Sophie said to Claire before the two disappeared into the living room. Jimmy chuckled, sat next to Castiel at the counter and asked, "How was your day?"

"Fine. I worked." Which, of course was a lie.

"Of course you did." Castiel shrugged, nudged an envelope with his finger while Jimmy just sat there, staring at him.

"What?"

"Nothin' Cas. I'm gonna go entertain the girls, come join us okay?"

"Sure Jimmy." Jimmy nodded, hopped off the stool and headed into the living room where Claire and Sophie were. Their shrieking and laughter soon followed. Castiel sighed, rearranged the pile of mail on the counter into a neat stack and headed into the living room where Jimmy and Claire were holding Sophie down while Jimmy tickled her.

Sophie spotted him standing in the doorway, "Papa! Help me! Please-

_Don't do this brother. Please." _

_Ramiel stared at Castiel for a long moment before saying, "You know I have to Castiel."_

"_No! You don't! Ramiel, you don't understand, we've been lied to! Zachariah has-"_

"_You've dirtied yourself Castiel!" Castiel watched as Ramiel made his way across the room, listened as he moved objects around, Castiel had hoped Ramiel would listen to him, would understand all of them had been tricked and lied to._

"_Brother-" Castiel stopped as a familiar smell assaulted his senses. It wasn't the demons blood of earlier, it was cleaner, older._

"_I don't have to do this Castiel. All you need to do is place your loyalties where they belong again."_

_Holy oil, demons blood and an angel's sword were the few things that could actually harm an angel. Castiel had endured the demons blood and the sword; the holy oil terrified him though. He didn't know how he would react to it while it was unlit, knew the fire could kill but if it was just the oil, surely-_

_Ramiel splashed the oil into the wounds littering Castiel's sides, it _burned_ like nothing Castiel had ever known. While the demons blood had ripped into his grace, had torn at it and devoured it, the holy oil just _burned_. It slowly worked through his body, leaving everything in its wake burning and aching with such intensity that Castiel thought he was finally dying._

_Castiel tried to hold his scream in, tried to not give that pleasure to Ramiel, to know he was finally hurting Castiel. He couldn't though, the pain was too much, Castiel cried out and jerked against his restraints, tried to curl in on himself to ease the burning._

"_It can end Cas-_

-tiel!" Castiel gasped, felt Jimmy shaking his shoulder, saw Claire and Sophie watching him with wide, worried eyes while Jimmy shook and yelled his name. Castiel shot up off the floor and raced for the bathroom, bile already working its way up his throat.

He bent over the toilet, gagging and retching pathetically while Jimmy told the girls to put a movie in. Shortly after Jimmy was in the bathroom as well, kneeling down by Castiel's side, "What's going on Cas?"

"Nothing Jimmy." Jimmy snorted and watched as Castiel settled himself onto the cool tile of the floor; it still felt as if the holy oil was burning through his system, phantom aches along his sides and back from where he'd been cut. Jimmy placed a gentle hand on Castiel's back and Castiel couldn't help but flinch away from it, he still _ached_ everywhere.

"Cas, c'mon. You're worrying me here."

"I must have eaten something that didn't agree." Jimmy was silent before he scoffed and said, "I'd believe that but I doubt you've eaten anything. What's going on Cas?"

"_Nothing_."

"Cas, don't push me away. Just tell me what's going on. I want to help here, so does Dean. We're worried about you."

"Please just leave it Jimmy." Jimmy sighed before he stood and headed back to the living room where Castiel could hear Sophie asking what was wrong. Castiel stood, cleaned himself up and joined them.

"You okay Papa?"

"I'm fine Sophie; it was just something I ate." Sophie watched him for a few minutes, looked at Claire then Jimmy, then asked turning her attention back to Castiel, "Can I sleep over at Claire's tonight?" Castiel glared at Jimmy over Sophie's head, his brother simply raised an eyebrow in challenge though, silently daring Castiel to say something.

"Sure, why don't you go pack a bag?" Sophie grinned at him, gave him a tight hug before bounding up the stairs with Claire in tow.

"Glare all you want Cas, I'll take Sophie for the night so you and Dean can talk about whatever the hell is going on with you." Castiel sighed and nodded; they waited for the girls to come downstairs again and said their goodbyes.

Once again, Castiel was left alone.

He tried to work but found himself unable to focus on the computer screen or any of the books or papers he had spread over his desk. So he found himself down in the living room on the couch, a random channel on the TV and his sketchpad spread over his lap, Grace curled up on the couch next to him. He wasn't paying too much attention to what he was drawing, just randomly drawing lines and figures.

"Hey bro." Castiel jerked, a dark line cutting through what he'd been drawing and turned to glare up at Gabriel.

"Some serious thinking you're doing there." Gabriel sat himself down on the other side of Grace, rested a hand on her side and smiled over at Castiel. Castiel simply shrugged, put his pencil and sketchpad away and leaned back against the couch, watching Gabriel. His brother usually announced when he was going to drop by for a visit, or come on their weekly visits but those took place on Saturdays, not Sundays.

"What do you want Gabriel?"

"Can't just come and check up on you?"

"No?"

"You wound me." Castiel sighed, shifted slightly so he could look at Gabriel easier and stroked Grace's head when she placed it on his thigh.

"Just getting sick of Heaven's shit is all, Raphael won't stop his bitching and everyone thinks we've done wrong by averting the apocalypse. I needed a break."

Castiel eyed Gabriel, he suspected Dean had something to do with this; he'd called Jimmy after all so he wouldn't be bothered by calling Gabriel to check up on Castiel.

"So, how's it going bro? You okay?" Castiel rolled his eyes and growled, "I'm getting sick of people asking me that question."

"There a reason they'd be asking that?" Castiel shook his head and turned his attention to the TV, some strange cartoon was playing now, something that Castiel didn't understand. He watched it anyway.

"Well, you know if you ever need to talk about anything I'll come down Cas, all you need to do is ask." Castiel nodded and sighed when Gabriel vanished. He would have to talk to Dean tonight about this; he didn't need his family barging in on his thoughts and into his mind. Especially with the state it was currently in.

* * *

><p>"<em>You call my name, I come to you in pieces<em>

_So you can make me whole._

_I've come undone _

_But you make sense of who I am."_

Pieces – Red


	19. Lost 'til You're Found, Part 2

_Dreaming of the way it used to be, can you hear me?_

_Falling in the black, slipping through the cracks_

_Falling to the depths can I ever go back?_

_Falling inside the black_

Falling Inside the Black - Skillet

* * *

><p>"Well, something's definitely wrong with our boy." Dean cursed as his head slammed into the hood of the car he was currently working on before he turned to glare at Gabriel.<p>

"Thought I told you not to sneak up on me." Gabriel shrugged, pulled a piece of paper from one of his jacket pockets.

"He was drawing this when I popped in." Dean took the piece of paper from Gabriel, unfolded it and swallowed when he saw what was on it. It was definitely one of Cas' drawings, darker though than what he usually did.

"What the hell is this?" Gabriel pointed to the figure that took up most of the center of the page, he couldn't make out any features on the face, but he could tell it was an angel judging by the wings coming from the sides.

"I think that's supposed to be him."

"You think Cas drew himself being tortured? Why?" Gabriel was silent, his gaze focused on the drawing Dean clutched in his hands. If Cas had been tortured…someone would definitely be paying for it.

"When Cas was an angel still…did he ever leave his vessel?"

"Uh…well can't speak for all the times he wasn't around me and Sam, I don't know what he did. But he did get dragged back to Heaven once."

Gabriel's eyes snapped up to Dean's, "Dragged back to Heaven?"

"That's what Anna said." Gabriel grumbled something under his breath and said, "Go home early or something and take the day off tomorrow. I'll be by tomorrow to see if this is what I think it is."

Gabriel vanished before Dean could ask anything else.

"Asshole."

Dean did what Gabriel had said though and headed home early; hoping that Cas would tell him what the hell was going on with him himself.

The house was unusually quiet when Dean let himself into the kitchen, Cas wasn't there cooking, he didn't hear any music coming from upstairs in the office and no TV in the living room. Dean headed into the living room and spotted Cas lying on the couch, Grace's head resting on his stomach as he absently stroked her ears.

"Cas?" Cas jumped, bolted upright and looked at Dean with wild eyes, "Dean! What are you doing home?"

"I got off early. You doing okay?"

"I wish everyone would stop asking that. I'm _fine_." Dean eyed Cas and refrained from saying that he didn't look _fine_. Cas looked like death warmed over, bags under his eyes, face lined with stress and fatigue. Dean knew he hadn't eaten anything today or the night before either.

Instead of bugging him, Dean sat down by Cas' feet and said, "I've got tomorrow off. Anything you want to do?" Cas sighed and rubbed at his forehead; Dean frowned and watched, knowing what the move usually meant.

"Not particularly." Cas finally muttered, hand returning to Grace's head when she let out a little whine.

"Cool, we can just have the house to ourselves. Jimmy said he'd keep Sophie over as long as we needed."

Cas scowled over at Dean and asked, "You spoke to Jimmy?"

"Yeah, he dropped by the shop to tell me that Sophie was spending the night." Dean didn't mention that Jimmy had confirmed Dean's fears of something going on with Cas.

Cas didn't talk much for the rest of the night and Dean didn't push him, not wanting another fight to break out between them. They ordered pizza again for dinner that night which Cas only really fidgeted with instead of eating and when they went up to bed later Dean knew Cas didn't sleep at all that night.

The next day, if at all possible was even worse.

Dean woke up to an empty bed, there was no familiar warmth pressing against his side and Cas' side of the bed was cold. Which had happened…never. Cas was _always_ there when Dean woke up and it was just weird to not have him there. Especially this early in the morning when Cas was generally dead to the world.

Dean got himself out of bed; he checked the bathroom and office for Cas and not finding him headed downstairs. He was about to head into the living room to see if Cas was on the couch again but paused by the kitchen, Cas was seated at the breakfast bar, a chocolate cake in front of him.

"There a bake sale or something I don't know about?" Dean asked, stepping into the kitchen. It looked like a bakery had exploded in here. Cakes, muffins, cupcakes and pies littered the counters, flour, eggshells and empty bags of sugar were everywhere else.

"No." Dean went and stood in front of Cas, watching as he spread frosting over the cake; it was a double-layered chocolate cake with something in the middle, the frosting Cas was spreading over it was chocolate fudge. Dean's mouth was watering, a slice of that cake and a glass of milk and Dean would be set.

Or maybe that apple pie over on the counter, there was a peach pie also and some blueberry muffins…

"You're drooling Dean." Dean grinned unashamedly at Cas, shrugged and said, "You're a great cook Cas, but you're an amazing baker." Which was probably thanks to Dean. When Cas had started experimenting in the first place he'd done it with pies so it would be something Dean would be willing to try.

Dean leaned against the counter watching as Cas turned the plate every now and then to better get the frosting over the surface. He took in the way Cas' mouth was a tight line, took in the way his eyes were slightly squinted.

"You're not getting a migraine are you?" Dean wouldn't be surprised if it were the case, Cas was stressing about something and he was obviously exhausted. All of it could lead up to a migraine.

"Cas?"

Cas sighed and muttered, "Maybe a small one."

"There's nothing small about your migraines babe." Cas shot Dean a glare at the nickname and Dean held up his hands, it wasn't something he could control, it was reflexive.

"You should take one of your pills, not like we've got anything planned today." Cas shook his head, finished frosting the cake, and simply sat there, eyes staring ahead at nothing while his foot absently moved along Grace's side. Dean frowned at the dog, she hadn't left Cas' side pretty much since he'd gotten home, she hadn't clung to him like this since before she'd gotten her hearing back.

"Cas-"

"I don't want to take one Dean."

"It's for your own good." Plus it would make him get some sleep finally; hopefully whatever was going on with Cas would be solved with a good night's rest.

"_No_ Dean." Dean sighed, gave Cas one last look before he turned and headed back upstairs to get the pills, he'd get Cas to take them no matter what it took. He figured it was something Gabriel wouldn't be above doing either, would probably be proud of Dean for doing it in the first place.

When Dean came back downstairs with a pill tucked away in the pocket of his sleep pants he found Cas still sitting at the breakfast bar, staring off into space, chin cupped in his palm.

"At least go and sit in the living room or something, I'll bring you some tea." Cas hesitated before he nodded and headed into the living room, Grace trailing along behind him. Dean rubbed his forehead and went to get the water going along with everything else needed for a cup of tea.

When the water was done, he poured it into the cup with the tea bag, found the blueberry honey Cas had recently become addicted to and poured a generous amount into the cup.

Dean double-checked to make sure Cas was still tucked away in the living room and pulled the pill from his pocket, managed to grind it up without the damn thing shooting across the kitchen and poured the powder into the tea. It probably made him some kind of douchebag, drugging his husband (and Dean _still_ wasn't used to calling Cas that) but it was something that needed to be done. Cas was going to be in pain soon and he was already tired enough, all of that combined did not equal a good time.

"Here you go, one cup of tea with that weird ass honey you like."

"Thank you Dean." Cas took the cup and twisted it around absently, not taking a sip. Dean chewed on his lip as he sat next to Cas, ignoring the grunt of annoyance it got from Grace.

He watched as that cup turned around and around before he finally said, "Better drink it before it goes cold. I know you hate cold tea." Cas swallowed it all down in three gulps, set the cup down on the table and looked at Dean with an eyebrow raised in challenge. It took everything Dean had in himself to not celebrate the fact he'd just drugged the person he loved.

"Yes, I'm happy." Dean said instead. It usually took about an hour for the medicine to kick in, and Dean knew a way to get Cas sleepy enough to where when the pill finally kicked in he wouldn't be able to resist the pull into unconsciousness.

"Wanna go have sex?"

Cas exhaled a long breath and whispered, "God yes."

Thirty minutes later Cas was sprawled over Dean's chest; both of them were catching their breath and covered in sweat and…other things. Dean had to admit, even exhausted and with something on his mind Cas still knew how to leave Dean an incoherent mess.

Cas rolled off Dean, his arms and legs flung out in every direction with no care to the fact that Dean happened to have a hand in his face and a leg situated underneath his own. It wasn't very comfortable but Cas looked on the verge of passing out so he didn't dare move.

Cas' hand slapped against Dean's cheek and he slurred out, "Should shower."

Apparently, drugs kicked in quicker on an empty stomach, Dean had forgotten this. Cas rolled onto his side, nuzzled into Dean's arm and promptly started snoring. Dean rolled his eyes, stumbled out of bed and cleaned himself and Cas up as well as he could with a washcloth, pulled some pants onto Cas and redressed himself before saying, "Alright Gabriel. Now would be a good time for you to show up."

"I'd hate to ask what you two were up to earlier."

"Whatever, just…_fix him_." Gabriel hopped up on the bed and rolled Cas onto his back, rubbed his hands together and Dean asked, "What are you going to do?"

Gabriel placed a palm on Cas' forehead who mumbled something in his sleep while Gabriel said, "Gonna take a look at his dreams." With that, his eyes fell closed and the room fell into silence. Dean waited, and waited and then waited some more. He waited so long he heard the front door open and close and footsteps coming up the stairs. He worried that Jimmy had brought Sophie back home early, but Jimmy and Sam appeared in the doorway both looking concerned.

"Figured we'd drop by. Lend a hand." Sam whispered, coming to stand by Dean while Jimmy moved to the other side of the bed and watched Gabriel with Cas.

A few more minutes passed before Gabriel's hand was jerking off Cas' forehead so quick it was like he'd touched something burning. Dean jumped forward as Gabriel rolled off the bed, spitting out some creative curse words as he went.

"Gabriel? What happened?" Gabriel ignored Dean and paced around the room, cursing and glaring and generally being pissed off. Dean exchanged looks with Jimmy as Cas whimpered, curled in on himself in his sleep and muttered, "No."

Gabriel abruptly ran out of steam, headed back over to the bed and rested his hand on Cas' forehead once more. Cas stilled in his sleep, his forehead smoothed out and he slowly uncurled.

"It's okay bro; I won't let them hurt you again. I promise."

"Gabriel? What the fuck is going on?" Dean stepped forward, aiming to grab Gabriel's shoulder to spin him around and get some actual answers out of the angel, but Gabriel leaned down, pressed a kiss to Cas' forehead and disappeared.

"Son of a _bitch_!"

The room was silent for a few minutes; Dean sat on the edge of the bed and pushed the fringe of hair that had fallen over Cas' forehead off to the side.

"What the hell was that about?" Sam finally asked, he'd been pacing the length of the room while Jimmy and Dean sat on the bed, watching Cas as he slept, thankfully quietly since Gabriel had probably done something to ease his dreams.

"Probably nothing good." Jimmy muttered.

Dean sighed and rubbed a hand over his face and whispered, "How am I supposed to help him if he won't let me in?" Sam stopped his pacing and came to stand by Dean, his hand resting on Dean's shoulder, "You're helping him just by being here Dean."

Dean snorted, not really believing the whole power of love crap, "Right."

"Samantha's right Dean. All we can do now is wait for Gabriel to tell us what the hell is going on and then we'll be able to do something about it."

Dean looked at the two of them, sighed and asked, "And what are we supposed to do in the meantime? Braid each other's hair and paint our nails?"

"If that's what you really want to do I could always get Amelia's nail polish. Or if you're up for brighter colors I'm sure Claire has got some neon ones." Dean glared at Jimmy, ignored Sam's snicker, continued glaring at the two of them as Sam threw his arm around Jimmy's shoulder, and said, "Oh, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

And here Dean had thought he'd have Jimmy on _his_ side when it came to torturing. He grumbled at the two of them and headed downstairs to watch some TV while they waited for Gabriel to come back or for Cas to wake up.

Dean didn't even want to know how the hell they ended up watching a _soap opera_ of all things, but apparently it was the only thing on TV and the they were all settled on the couch, discussing the plot of all things.

Sam sat up straighter with an excited, "Oh!"

Jimmy looked over at him and asked, "Oh 'I just found out who the baby's father is', or oh 'I can't believe she just did that?'"

Sam, looking extremely pleased with himself said, "Both."

"Who is it then?"

"Valerie slept with Mark _and_ Todd, but it has to be Mark's baby since Todd had that whole ordeal last week when he found out he was sterile!"

"I knew it!"

"Then why'd you have to ask?"

"Wanted to see if you'd gotten it right." Sam rolled his eyes at Jimmy while Jimmy grinned at him and Dean hid behind his hand muttering, "How do you _know_ this shit?"

Sam ignored Dean, and looking pleased with himself again said, "Of course I got it right." Jimmy opened his mouth to reply but they were all interrupted by Cas asking from behind them, "What's going on?"

All three jumped and turned to look behind them, none of them had heard Cas making his way downstairs. Safe to say Cas looked immediately suspicious and worried that the three of them were seated on the couch, watching a damn _soap opera._

Jimmy threw one arm around Dean's shoulders and the other around Sam's and cheerfully said, "Oh just some manly bonding! Except for Samantha here." Dean couldn't help the snort that escaped at Sam's glare and his grumbled, "If you call me that _one more time_…"

"You'll what?" Jimmy eyed Sam, his jaw set and chin raised in such a way that reminded Dean of Cas when Cas was being a stubborn little bastard.

Sam returned Jimmy's look and tackled him to the floor, Jimmy grunting in surprise. Cas gave Dean a look, eyebrows raised as their brothers rolled around on the floor.

"This has got to be one of the weirdest dreams ever."

"Unfortunately you're awake Cas, and sadly so am I. C'mon, let's ditch these nutjobs." Dean stood up from the couch and headed for Cas, ignoring the Jimmy's and Sam's indignant, "Hey!"

Cas sighed and rolled his eyes but leaned into Dean's side when Dean pulled him close, "I hear there's perfectly good cake in the kitchen, we should get us some."

Jimmy's head popped up over the edge of the couch like a little jack-in-the-box, "Cake? Why did no one say there was cake?"

"Dude, Cas practically baked something for the whole neighborhood this morning. There's _everything_." Cas' cheeks turned a little red and Dean couldn't help but press a kiss to the soft hair at his temple.

Then Jimmy was there on Cas' other side, Sam with him as he said, "Well, I'm sure I speak for Sam as well when I say we'll be more than happy to help you get rid of that problem." Dean rolled his eyes at Jimmy, delighted in the small smile it pulled from Cas and the four of them headed into the kitchen.

It was an awkward silence that fell over the four of them as they ate their various baked goods. Dean was enjoying the apple pie, Jimmy the chocolate cake (which had raspberry preserves in the middle, Dean had been tempted to actually deviate from his beloved apple pie) and Sam was enjoying the peach pie.

The awkward silence was finally broken by Cas, "So, not that I don't like having everyone over, but what are you doing here?"

"This pie is wonderful Cas." Sam muttered, stuffing his mouth with it, much like Dean usually did, he had to be proud of the kids form. Dean nodded his agreement and filled his own mouth; Cas turned his attention to Jimmy, eyebrows raised.

"We…um. Well…you see…"

"They stopped by because the girls wanted to have a day for themselves." Dean interrupted, glaring at Jimmy. He never could deny Cas anything when looked at like that.

Cas looked like he didn't believe a word of it.

"Yeah, Sarah and Amelia said they needed to have a testosterone free day," Sam shrugged, smiled and shoved more pie into his mouth, "What can you do huh?"

Jimmy nodded his agreement, "I certainly didn't want to be couched." Cas grunted, clearly still having issues believing them but he stood up anyway and headed into the kitchen for whatever reason. Jimmy sighed, dropped his fork to his plate and Dean rubbed the back of his neck. He felt bad for lying to Cas, but he knew Cas would throw a fit of epic proportions if he knew what was _really_ going on.

Sam pushed the rest of his pie around on this plate and whispered, "Well that was close."

When Dean was finished with his pie, he left Jimmy and Sam to clean everything up and went to find Cas.

"Come on Cas; let's go upstairs for a bit." Cas turned away from the kitchen window to eye Dean, who simply smiled and held out his hand. Cas sighed, took it and allowed himself to be dragged upstairs. Dean pushed Cas onto the bed and ignored Cas' look of annoyance as Dean tucked him into the blankets and pillows.

"I don't need to sleep Dean. I just woke up in case you forgot." Dean didn't bother mentioning that Cas had only slept for a few hours and could probably go for a bit more, especially if his migraine medication was still kicking around in his system. Dean was surprised Cas was even coherent.

"You don't need to sleep Cas; just want to spend some time with you is all."

"We've already spent time together."

"Not _that_ kind of time." Dean muttered, crawling into bed beside Cas. Cas watched him for a moment before scooting over and curling into Dean's side, face pressing against Dean's neck.

"How's your head?"

"Better, still hurts but it's not as bad." Cas muttered, sighing quietly when Dean buried his fingers into the dark, thick hair. Dean smiled and gently rubbed his fingers over Cas' head, gently tugging on hair and soothing with his fingertips until Cas was humming quietly in his pleasure.

It didn't take long for Dean to work Cas into a light doze, fingers moving from his head to his shoulders and finally down to his lower back.

When Cas was finally asleep Dean moved out of the room as quietly as possible, the house was dark and quiet but he hadn't heard Jimmy or Sam leave, so he knew they were here somewhere. He found Sam in the office sprawled on the couch, woke him up and went to find Jimmy who was snoring into Sophie's pillow.

"Rise and shine princess." Jimmy woke with a snort, glared at Dean and followed him and Sam back into Dean and Cas' room. Dean muttered, "Alright, Gabriel the douchebag, time for you to show up." He didn't expect Gabriel to show up at all so he was surprised when the archangel popped into existence at the end of the bed.

"Okay, time for you to tell us what the hell is going on." Dean hissed, keeping quiet so as not to wake Cas. Gabriel sighed quietly, rested two fingers on Cas' forehead to keep him under and moved further into the room to stand in front of Sam, Jimmy and Dean. The archangel actually looked exhausted, his shoulders were slumped and he had a defeated kind of look to him.

"I think it's better if I show you instead. It might be easier for you to understand." Gabriel moved back to the bed, standing by Cas' side while Jimmy, Sam and Dean moved closer as well. Gabriel paused with his hand over Cas' forehead and said, "Be warned, it's not pretty."

_None of them had a chance to ask anything before the room went dark and Dean felt like he was being punched in the gut. When his senses came back online he was pleased to note that neither Sam nor Jimmy had fared any better, all three were gasping and bent over._

"_What the hell was that?" Dean snapped, righting himself._

"_Welcome to Cas' dream." Gabriel muttered, arms crossed over his chest and eyes focused forward. Dean looked around, they were in some kind of room, it was bland and windowless, not even a door. Much like the green room Dean had been in all those years ago, just nothing as extravagant._

_Dean felt his heart leap into his throat and his stomach twisted itself into knots when his eyes landed on the figure in the middle of the room. He was strung up by his wings, hooks piercing the flesh just beneath the arch. His hands were bound and hanging loosely by his sides, his feet were dangling inches off the floor, toes barely touching as he swung gently with every twitch that ran through his body._

_It wasn't the Cas he knew, but there were similarities, dark hair, eyes that were too blue, the same strong jaw. Dean's eyes kept going back to those wings though._

_The feathers were that same glossy black as the feather that was hung up in their living room. Blues and greens shimmering along the dark surface as the light shifted, they would have been beautiful had they not been so ravaged. Feathers were missing in clumps, some parts were bent into awkward angles, and to Dean's utter horror there was blood and something that was a bright silvery-blue color pooling on the floor directly beneath wings that shouldn't have looked so damaged._

"_Cas…" Dean raced forward, heard Jimmy and Sam scrambling forward with him. He needed to get Cas down, needed to help him, needed to show him he was safe and nothing could hurt him like this ever again._

_Dean's hand passed right through Cas' body, as did Jimmy's and Sam's._

_Up close Dean could see the damage done to the wings, could see the cuts and slashes littering that body, sigils were burned into the underside of his wings, into his sides, his thighs…_

"_Where are we exactly?" Jimmy asked, turning his attention to Gabriel who had joined them._

"_This…this is Heaven's 'rehabilitation'." Gabriel didn't sound at all pleased; Dean couldn't blame him, he himself felt ready to go on a murderous rampage. The dicks had done this to _his_ Cas._

"_They bound him into this form, makes him weaker, easier to hurt. Locked him into this room, those sigils on the bindings keep his powers in check. What was only a few days on Earth for you guys was several months of this for Castiel."_

_Dean felt like throwing up._

_They all jumped away when Cas suddenly whimpered, his breath hitching in his chest, toes flexing as he tried to get his weight off of his wings._

_Sam looked away from Cas, turned his attention to Gabriel and quietly asked, "Can't you-"_

"_No. I can't stop what has already happened Sam. This is a memory, a dream, we're only observers here."_

_Dean felt his hands clench into fists, if Zachariah wasn't already dead he'd be killing the dick all over again, and enjoying it a hell of a lot more._

_An angel Dean had never seen before popped into the room in front of Cas, "Well Castiel? What do you say brother?"_

"_No." Dean, Sam and Jimmy backed away as the new angel moved around Cas._

"_That's Ramiel, he and Castiel used to be close." Gabriel muttered, coming to stand by the three of them as Ramiel moved to the small table set in the corner of the room. There wasn't much on it, a jug of holy oil, a small container of what looked like blood and one of the swords angels carried. Dean had a sick feeling that that sword was Cas' own._

_Ramiel picked up a small needle from the table, Dean would have laughed at the fact that an _angel_ was using a needle, but he couldn't find the joke in the situation. This was _Cas_ being tortured._

"_What is he doing?" Sam whispered, he looked how Dean felt. Pissed, sick to his stomach and incredibly sad. None of them had even known what Cas had gone through when he'd been dragged back to Heaven. Anna had said it was bad, but Dean hadn't the slightest idea how bad._

"_That's demons blood. Poisonous to angels, one of the few things that can actually hurt us. It tears at your grace, rips it apart until there's barely anything left." Dean squeezed his eyes shut as Cas' scream ripped through the room, it tore through Dean and ate at him, and he'd probably have his own nightmares of this._

_Cas' scream choked off, he whimpered and gasped, "Please brother…don't do this."_

"_It's for your own good Castiel." Dean watched long enough to see the needle pierce the skin where wing joined back, Cas thrashed and whimpered again, the motions causing the hooks in his wings to tear more, to dig deeper._

_Jimmy turned away from it all, hands over his eyes as he whispered, "Why would _angels_ do something like this?"_

"_Because they're spineless dicks, that's why!" Dean shouted. He wished he could hit something, kick and punch and break until he was drained and empty._

_Another whimper came from Cas, more thrashing and cut off cries._

"_I'll kill them all." Dean growled, crossing his arms across his chest, hands clenched so tight his nails bit into his palms._

_Gabriel turned and looked at Dean and said, "You can't."_

"_Why? Because they're angels? Well I don't fucking care!"_

_Gabriel stepped into Dean's personal bubble, he was nothing like the carefree Gabriel he knew, nothing joking or smiling. He was pure archangel now, all wrath and divine justice, "You can't because they're already dead. I made sure they begged for it just like they made my brother beg for it."_

_Dean had never been scared of Gabriel, but he was in that moment._

_Dean's attention returned to Castiel as Zachariah appeared in the room, everything holding Castiel up vanished as Zachariah snapped his fingers. Cas' cry as he landed on his knees in front of Zachariah echoed throughout the room and all Dean wanted to do was rush over and pull Cas onto his lap and make everything okay again._

"_Castiel, Castiel, Castiel. When will you ever learn? It breaks my heart to have to do this to you." Zachariah stood in front of Cas while Ramiel stood behind him, hands resting on Cas' wings._

_Cas managed to glare up at Zachariah and ground out, "You have no heart."_

_Gabriel chuckled from beside Dean and muttered, "That's my little bro."_

_Ramiel jerked on one of Cas' wings, Cas bit off a scream as he curled forward, trying to pull away from the pain, Ramiel's hands kept him upright though._

"_Your loyalty is admirable if misplaced. Do you really think those puny mud monkeys love you? You're nothing but a weapon for them!"_

"_Dean-" Another tug on his wings from Ramiel cut Cas off._

"_You serve Heaven! You don't serve man and most certainly not Dean Winchester!" The urge to puke was strong again, Dean squeezed his eyes shut, "They tortured him because of me."_

_Sam's hand found Dean's shoulder, his eyes were sad and concerned, "Dean…it's not your fault. They're the only ones to blame here. Not you."_

"_You will not leave this room until you learn your place again Castiel."_

"_Then I will never leave. I rather you kill me than betray Dean." Dean's vision blurred and he turned to look away. Jimmy was already crying beside him and Sam looked on the verge himself, Dean couldn't cry, not here, not now. He swiped angrily at his eyes, glared at Zachariah and wished he could kill the smarmy son of a bitch all over again._

"_Oh, I won't kill you Castiel. You'll just wish you were dead." Zachariah twirled one of the swords around in his hand, looking down at Cas with a smug smile on his face. He looked ready to plunge it deep into Cas' chest when he paused, grinned and said, "Well, isn't this interesting."_

_Cas glared up at Zachariah as he yanked Cas' head back by his hair, "You might be able to endure your own suffering, but are you willing to let your vessel and his family die?"_

_Cas' glare faltered, "What?"_

"_Your pretty little vessel is dying Castiel. His daughter will soon follow. All because you came into their lives!" Zachariah released Cas' head and walked around him in a circle, smiling and sounding smug as he asked, "Are you willing to let them pay for your mistakes? If you hadn't interfered in their lives none of this would have happened."_

_Zachariah bent down and looked at Cas, "Last chance Castiel. If your vessel and his daughter die, the line ends for you. There will be no way for you to ever return to your precious Dean. If the line ends…well…let's just say you'll be here for a very long time. Eternity sums it up real nice don't you think?"_

"_Jesus Cas…" Dean whispered, vision blurring again. He could remember his rage at Cas that night, could remember Jimmy being equally pissed off, yelling his frustration to the night sky, cursing Cas. If they'd known…_

"_How do I know," Cas grunted with the effort of trying to sit up straighter, to not be kneeling before Zachariah, "you're not lying?" Zachariah waved a hand and the wall in front of them showed the scene that had happened in the warehouse that night. Jimmy lying on the floor dying, one of the demons heading for Claire to kill her, Sam and Dean fighting their own captors._

_Cas watched it all; knowing Cas as well Dean did now he knew he was agonizing over this choice. He didn't want to betray Dean, but he didn't want to break his promise to Jimmy either._

"_So what's it going to be Castiel?" Zachariah tugged on Cas' hair again to get his attention, "Your vessel? Or Dean?"_

"_I-"_

"_You can save your vessel! All you have to do is place your loyalties in their rightful place once more."_

_Cas' gaze lowered to the floor as he whispered, "Alright."_

"_Alright what Castiel?"_

"_I…yield."_

_Dean heard Jimmy try to cover up his sob, "Oh Lord…be broke because of me." Jimmy turned and walked away to the farthest corner in the room, his back turned to everything going on, shoulders shaking. Dean chewed on his lip and reluctantly turned back to watch Cas._

"_Say it Castiel! Say you serve Heaven!"_

"_I…" Cas trailed off, his eyes returning to the scene playing like some sick movie on the wall in front of him. Zachariah nodded to Ramiel who snapped one of the bones in Cas' wings like it was nothing more than a twig._

"_Time is running out Castiel. How much longer do you think they can last?"_

"_I serve Heaven, I don't serve mankind."_

"_That's why he said what he did in the warehouse. They were probably watching him." Sam muttered, he was chewing on a fingernail and glaring over at Zachariah much like Dean was._

"_Not good enough Castiel. Tell me what I want to hear."_

"_I don't…" Ramiel tugged on Cas' wings again, "I don't serve Dean."_

"_There! That wasn't so hard was it?" Zachariah grinned down at Castiel, "Now Castiel, I'm going to let you go. But now if you ever dare cross me again, you want to be the only one to pay for your sins."_

_Zachariah turned to Ramiel and said, "Let him go, don't bother with healing him, let it serve as a reminder."_

"_Son of a _bitch_. That explains why Cas walked out of there instead of zapping off. I just thought he was trying to make a point or something." Dean muttered, watching as Castiel was released, his wings dragging behind him, broken and branded._

"_I think we've seen enough." Gabriel whispered, snapping his fingers. The room disappeared along with the angels. It was all replaced with a field filled with bright flowers and a bright blue blur shooting past where they were all standing._

_A high-pitched giggle that reminded Dean of warm summer days, apple pie and church bells ringing in the distance reached their ears, "You can't catch me Gabriel!"_

_The blue blur slowed and Dean recognized the dark wings and the color of blue that stared at him every morning when he woke up to Cas staring at him. It was Cas, young and healthy, giggling and laughing as he flew around the field, Gabriel chasing after him. The non-dream Gabriel chuckled quietly from beside them, snapped his fingers again and Dean was back in his bedroom._

The four of them stood in silence, Gabriel nodded at them and disappeared, probably back to Heaven. Jimmy took a deep breath, turned and walked out of the room, quietly locking himself into the office across the hall.

Sam looked over at Dean, forehead creased with worry, "Are you going to be okay Dean?" Dean honestly didn't know, but he nodded anyway and Sam sighed, squeezed Dean's shoulder and said, "I'm going to head home. I'll be back tomorrow alright?"

"Okay." Sam squeezed his shoulder again and disappeared downstairs and out the front door. Dean continued standing where he was before he finally moved and crawled into bed beside Cas. Cas looked peaceful in his sleep now, a small smile on his face while he dreamt of happier times with Gabriel up in Heaven before his life went upside down when Dean entered it.

Dean sighed, gently placed his hand on Cas' cheek, and whispered, "I really don't deserve you Cas." Cas sighed in his sleep and shifted closer to the warmth of Dean's body, mumbling incoherently in his sleep.

For once, it was Dean watching Cas sleep instead of the other way around. He couldn't help but just stare at Cas, the parted lips, gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed deep and slow. Dean brushed his thumb along Cas' cheek; he still couldn't believe Cas was here with him after everything they'd all been though.

Cas had given up more than Dean could even comprehend, he'd killed his own brothers, hell he'd even died twice, but here he was, curled against Dean's side and snoring lightly in his sleep. Even after everything he'd been through (most of which Dean hadn't even known about or understood) Cas was still _his _Cas. His sweet, stubborn, beautiful and loving _Cas_.

Dean really didn't deserve him.

* * *

><p>Castiel woke in the morning warm and perfectly content to stay in bed where he was for the remainder of the day. Grace was curled down by his feet; Dean's chest was pressed firmly to his back, arm tight over Castiel's waist as he snored into Castiel's shoulder.<p>

Castiel smiled, completely prepared to fall back into sleep, the last few days nearly forgotten when he heard someone walking around in his office. He knew Sophie wasn't home or else she would have made herself known for wanting breakfast by now, Grace was down by his feet and Dean of course was behind him.

Jimmy or Sam wouldn't have stayed the night, having their own families to return to, but he could hear those footsteps moving around, pacing by the sounds of it. Since Grace wasn't bothered with it, it had to be someone they knew, someone she trusted.

With a sigh, Castiel slowly untangled himself from Dean's grasp and crawled out of bed, hoping to not wake Dean. Grace hopped off the bed when Castiel opened the bedroom door, grateful that it didn't squeak or groan like it easily could have.

Castiel could hear Jimmy's voice coming from the office, the door was opened a crack like he had meant to close it all the way but it had bounced off something or had lost momentum. Castiel paused on the outside of the door, knowing he shouldn't eavesdrop on the conversation Jimmy was having, he was on the phone talking to Amelia by the sounds of it, but Castiel couldn't help himself.

Jimmy sounded as distraught as he ever had as he paced back and forth, "You don't understand Amelia, I _saw_ what he went through. He was _tortured_ by his own brothers! All because he thought he was doing the right thing and he never broke, not once, not until he saw what was happening with us. He broke to protect us Ames."

Castiel felt himself frown, Jimmy was silent, listening to whatever Amelia was saying on the other end of the phone. How had Jimmy known any of this? Castiel hadn't spoken of what had happened there was no way they could know.

"I know it sounds weird Amelia, but he _is_ my twin, my other half, and I don't think I'd ever be complete without him. I love you and Claire, but I love him too. I know you don't understand, but he's not the one to blame for what happened. If you'd seen what I saw, you would be where I am."

Castiel moved away from the door and headed downstairs as quietly as he could, not wanting to eavesdrop anymore. He sat down on the couch in the living room, Grace hopped up beside him immediately and placed her head on his thigh, he absently stroked her head while he thought.

Dean and Jimmy couldn't know what had happened, he'd never spoken to Dean about it and while he'd been inside of Jimmy he'd been sure to keep himself apart from Jimmy so that he would be kept as separate as possible from everything that Castiel was witnessing and experiencing.

The only one that could have any idea, could have told…

Castiel sighed and muttered, "Gabriel."

Nothing.

"Don't be a coward Gabriel. Get down here and tell me what you've done."

Still nothing.

Castiel sighed, played with Grace's ears and waited patiently for Dean and Jimmy to make their way downstairs.

An hour later Castiel heard Dean thundering down the stairs just as Sam was letting himself in through the front door; he was closely followed by Amelia.

Of all the people Castiel wanted to see at that moment Amelia was not one of them. Their relationship was still a little strained, but she was coming around slowly but surely. They talked sometimes on the phone when Castiel called to talk with Jimmy and she sometimes dropped Claire off or picked up Sophie to have the two girls spend some time together.

And if Jimmy had told his wife what Castiel had been through, the last thing he wanted was her pity.

"Morning Cas, sleep well?" Sam asked, coming to sit in the armchair across from the couch. Castiel eyed him and nodded. He had slept rather well, couldn't remember his dreams at all, but he probably had Gabriel to thank for that.

Dean gripped the back of Castiel's neck in greeting while Jimmy went and greeted Amelia; it took a moment for him to realize they were all staring at him. He finally understood why Dean had hated it when Castiel had stared so much.

Castiel hopped up to his feet and immediately they were all asking, "What are you doing Cas?"

Castiel frowned at them, pointed his thumb over his shoulder, "I'm going to make breakfast."

"Oh I'll do it!" Jimmy said, rushing towards the kitchen, dragging Amelia behind him, "Me and Amelia will make breakfast! You sit and relax Cas."

Castiel glared at Jimmy's back, sighed and said, "Fine, I'll take out the trash."

"I'll do it! Seriously Cas, sit down, chill out." Sam hopped up to his feet and rushed into the kitchen to get the trash. Dean sat down on the couch behind Castiel and patted the cushion next to him.

"You might as well sit down Cas." Castiel sighed and sat next to Dean, hand going back to Grace's head when she returned it to his thigh. Castiel was tempted to just tell Dean he knew, knew that they knew everything; he just didn't know how they knew. Didn't know if Gabriel had told them or simply shown them whatever dream Castiel had been having the night before.

He just wanted this awkwardness and tension gone. Didn't want everyone treating him like he was something that would break, like he was weak.

Castiel didn't say anything though, simply leaned into Dean's side and continued as if he didn't know anything, as if he didn't feel the tension in the air. He didn't want to talk about it; he just wanted it all to be over with.

After breakfast they were all gathered in the kitchen, Sam and Dean were doing the dishes (if only Castiel could get Dean to do the dishes _all_ the time he'd be perfectly happy), Jimmy had gone off to talk to Claire on the phone and Castiel was seated at the breakfast bar watching everything.

Amelia approached, looking hesitant and a little shy, Castiel watched from the corner of his eye as she sat herself beside him and asked, "Can I talk to you?"

Castiel hesitated, turned to look at her fully and said, "Of course."

"I just…I wanted to tell you that I understand now, why you did the things you did. Why you took Jimmy."

Castiel didn't want to hear this, not now, not ever. He didn't want her pity and he didn't want her apologies simply because she felt guilty or obligated to, "Amelia, I-"

"No, Castiel. Please, let me say this," she took a deep breath and Castiel settled himself to hear what she had to say, "I'm not saying I can forget the hurt of having Jimmy taken from me, but I know now you're not the one to blame. Out of all the angels you're probably the only one I don't blame."

She glanced over to where Jimmy had come back into the kitchen and was helping Dean wash the pots and pans from breakfast, the two were flicking soapy water at Sam who was glaring and flicking water back at the two.

Amelia smiled a little at the trio and returned her attention to Castiel, "You were just doing what you believed was right, even if it wasn't. In the end you came through for us though, I wouldn't have my family anymore if it wasn't for you. That makes you family as well."

"Amelia-"

Amelia cut him off with a wave of her hand, "I love Jimmy with all my heart, and now you're a big part of him, I think after having an angel inside of him for so long he feels empty, incomplete. But with you around, he's more of himself, I think…as corny as this sounds, you complete him. I'm sure in time I can come to love you as well, but until then, friends?" She held her hand out to shake and Castiel stared at it for a moment before ignoring it and pulling her into a hug.

She was tense for a few moments before she relaxed and returned his embrace.

When they pulled apart, Amelia's eyes were a little misty with unshed tears, Castiel himself felt on the verge of tears, but he held them back and gave her a shaky smile, "How did you know?"

Amelia looked at him for a moment before saying, "Jimmy told me. He said that Gabriel had shown him, Dean and Sam what you'd gone through. I didn't understand most of it, but he said something about a dream."

Castiel nodded, thanked her and headed out of the kitchen.

He was glad he and Amelia would be able to further their relationship, but he was pissed as well. His family, the people he trusted, had gone into his mind, without his permission, and seen everything that he didn't want them to see.

"Cas?" Castiel ignored Dean and continued heading through the dining room and into the living room, he ignored Gabriel when the archangel popped up in the middle of his path and headed into the bathroom down the hall, Grace scrambling after him.

"Cas!" Castiel slammed the door shut behind him, locked it and found a spare blade for the razors under the sink. With a quick slash to his forearm, he was painting an Enochian sigil on the door that would keep Gabriel _out_.

"Cas!" Dean pounded on the door as Castiel sat himself down on the floor, wrapping a washcloth around the cut. Grace whined and curled up on the floor beside him, practically crawling into his lap.

"I know Gracie." Castiel muttered, stroking her head in reassurance.

"You better not be doing something stupid in there Cas."

Castiel rolled his eyes at Dean's voice, "I'm not doing anything Dean. Just go away."

"Why?"

"Because I'm pissed off at you that's why!" Silence greeted him from the other side of the door and Castiel knew Gabriel was trying to find a way in. Dean or Sam could easily pick the lock on the bathroom door, or kick it open but since Castiel was seated directly in front of the door they didn't want to do that.

He heard Dean sigh on the other side of the door, heard a thump that was most likely Dean sitting down, "Why are you pissed Cas?"

Castiel sighed; he just wanted to be left alone for a little while. Work out his thoughts so when he was prepared to talk to Dean and everyone else about this he wouldn't be angry and had no chance of saying something he would regret.

"You had _no right_ to go into my head Dean."

"Cas-"

"No Dean, those are my memories! My thoughts! You had no business in them! You think just because you're my brothers and my husband that you can just violate my privacy?" Castiel had never felt this angry before, he'd been angry before sure, but never at Dean, never at his family.

There was another thump as someone else joined Dean on the floor in front of the bathroom door, Castiel assumed it was Jimmy and was proven right when Jimmy said, "It's because we were worried about you Cas."

Castiel snorted and glared at the wall in front of him. He knew he was being childish, locking himself in the bathroom to stew in his anger. But they'd gone into his mind, without his permission and seen his darkest secrets, and they had planned to not even tell him. Just act as if everything was normal and okay.

He heard Dean sigh as he said, "You wouldn't let me in Cas. I just wanted to help you but you wouldn't let me. What else was I supposed to do?"

"Wait for me to tell you!" Castiel snapped, ignoring Grace's distressed whine as she shifted closer, trying to soothe him. Castiel clutched at her collar in one hand while the other dug into the thick fur around her neck.

"Would you have?" Dean asked quietly. Castiel hesitated, no, he probably wouldn't have. He would have kept on going; just like Dean, he was too stubborn when it came to letting other people help him.

"Just open the door Cas, and we'll all go and sit down and we can talk alright?"

"You hate talking Dean."

Dean chuckled, "Cas, I'd go through Hell all over again if it meant helping you." Castiel sighed, looked down at Grace who was looking up at him. He sighed again, stood and opened the door.

* * *

><p>They settled in the living room. Jimmy, Dean and Sam were on the couch while Gabriel stood off to the side and Cas sat in the chair in front of them all, Grace practically crawling into his lap. Amelia had left shortly after Cas had locked himself in the bathroom, Dean was glad for it, he didn't think Cas would do any sort of opening up in front of her.<p>

Dean and Cas were a lot alike in how they didn't talk about their feelings or whatever was on their mind. Dean knew Cas probably got them from Dean, which Dean was in no way proud of. He knew he wasn't the best role model of humanity for an ex-angel to take lessons from. Despite it all Cas was still _good_, still something holy no matter how much he rolled around in humanity.

Cas stood and paced the length of the living room a few times before Dean stood as well, blocking his path. They stared at each other for a few minutes before Dean put his hands on Cas' shoulders and said, "What they did to you Cas, I get it. I went through Hell, literally, for forty years. Nothing compares to what you went through though because they were your brothers." Cas' eyes shifted down and away from Dean, fixing on the floor by Gabriel's feet.

Grace whined, came across the room and leaned against Cas' legs, nudging and licking at his hand when he made no move to pet her.

Dean took a deep breath, squeezed Cas' shoulders and continued, "They were supposed to look out for you, not torture you for standing up to what you believe."

Cas pulled away from Dean, turning so his back was to everyone. Dean held himself back from following Cas, wanting to comfort, touch, and soothe all those old wounds. Cas' shoulders hunched, he wrapped his arms around himself and lowered his head.

Grace let out another whine, figured the dog would have been noticing Cas' mood for the last few days, if only Dean had paid more attention to her this could have been avoided.

When Cas' shoulders started shaking Dean took a step forward only to be stopped by Gabriel. He glared at the archangel who shook his head, and looking incredibly awkward stepped forward and tugged Cas into a hug.

Cas resisted for a moment before he finally settled into Gabriel's embrace, sobbing and shaking and clutching at his brother.

They could all only stand by and listen as Cas finally let loose everything that had been bottled up inside. In between his sobs and hiccups he told them how his wings had been broken over and over, how Zachariah and Ramiel had injected demon blood into him, poured holy oil onto his wounds, branded 'traitor' into his wings, how they'd laughed and mocked his pain.

Dean wanted nothing more than to go to Cas and comfort him, show him that nothing like that would never happen to him again. This was something for Gabriel to do apparently, when Cas finally quieted, sniffing hiding his face against Gabriel's neck, Gabriel whispered, "It's okay Cas. You don't have to worry about them anymore. I took care of it all."

Cas pulled his head up from Gabriel's shoulder, sniffed, hiccupped and blinked at Gabriel. Gabriel chuckled, wiped the tears from Cas' cheeks, "You're gonna be okay. I've got your back bro."

Cas nodded and Gabriel tugged him back into another hug, Jimmy joined them a moment later soon followed by Sam and then finally Dean who said, "If anyone ever says anything about this I'm destroying every blueberry I come in contact with."

It took a few weeks for everything to finally settle down again. Cas' flashbacks didn't return, but there were still nightmares, which eventually died down, and whenever they did happen, Dean just held Cas a little tighter at night.

Now though, Cas was staring at him, all earnest blue eyes while Sam shot him the puppy dog look. Dean hated when the two ganged up on him.

"No way."

"Oh c'mon Dean, this hunt needs all three of us and you know it!" Sam said, waving the folder Bobby had given him under Dean's nose. Cas nodded his agreement, crossed his arms and upped the pathetic look even more.

"Cas are you sure you're up-"

"I'm fine Dean," Cas snatched the folder from Sam's hands and waved it in front of Dean's face, "It's a werewolf Dean. We haven't had one of those in a while." Dean sighed and nodded, there was no way he could fight against Sam and Cas when they teamed up. Plus it was a gorgeous spring day, Dean just couldn't do it.

"Fine, but Cas if you so much as…" Dean trailed off because Cas was already gone and waiting in the backseat of the Impala, gesturing for them to get a move on already. Sam chuckled and folded himself into the passenger seat while Dean headed around the front of the car and settled himself behind the wheel.

Cas smiled at him in the rearview mirror and Dean once again felt that little urge to lock Cas away in the house swell up. He wanted to protect Cas, keep him safe and sound and away from danger, but if Cas was set on going on this hunt with them, there was no way to keep him home. Dean just had to remind himself Cas hadn't had a flashback for three weeks now and his nights had been nightmare free for about four days now.

Sam nudged Dean's side with his elbow and said, "What did I tell you? Talking about your feelings totally helps."

Cas chuckled from the backseat; Dean rolled his eyes and put on his sunglasses, "Whatever Princess."

Sam's retort was drowned out in the roar of the Impala's engine and the sound of Led Zeppelin blaring from the speakers as they headed north.

* * *

><p><em>Honesty is what you need,<em>

_It sets you free like someone to save you_

_Let it go, but hurry now, there's undertow_

_And I don't want to lose you now_

Someone to Save You - OneRepublic


	20. It's all a big fluffgasm

So...because of all the angst the show is throwing at us, I decided for some damn fluff. So, here's some fluff.

Three drabbles, they're in no particular order, no particular time frame and no particular plot. It's like porn without plot...but...fluff without plot.

Three songs inspired them, but they're not really song fic or anything. I nearly went into a diabetic coma writing this...so you know, so...I hope you enjoy them!

* * *

><p>Inspired by: <em>Crazy Love by Jason Manns with Jensen Ackles<em>

Dean paused in the kitchen doorway, he'd come downstairs to check on how Cas and Sophie were doing. Sophie had woken them up with a nightmare; she hadn't been as easily calmed as usual so Cas had gotten up to calm her down.

That had been an hour ago, Dean hadn't heard from either of them so he'd searched them out and found the two in the kitchen. Cas had Sophie in his arms, her legs were draped around his waist, feet kicking occasionally, her arms were loosely looped around his neck and her head was resting on his shoulder. There were drying tear tracks on her cheeks and her eyes were half closed, she was calm though, she looked content.

Cas was swaying gently, one arm supporting her weight while the other rubbed her back, he was humming quietly under his breath before he quietly sang out, "_She takes away my troubles, she takes away my grief. She takes away my heartache and I go right to sleep._"

Sophie shifted in his arms, turning her head so she could hide her face against his neck, Cas continued on, "_Yes I want to throw my arms around her, kiss her, hug her, kiss and hug her tight_." Cas pressed a kiss to her temple, tightened his hold on her.

Dean smiled at the sight of the two of them, Cas could deny and doubt himself as much as he wanted, but he'd always made a good dad. This just sealed the deal.

Cas turned around as he continued swaying to the beat in his head, his eyes caught on Dean's and he gave a small smile, "_When I'm returning from a long day, she gives me some sweet lovin', it brightens up my day. It makes me righteous, yes it makes me whole, it makes me mellow right down to my soul._"

Cas hummed under his breath as he slowly walked towards Dean, by the time he was standing in front of Dean, Sophie was sleeping again. Dean smiled, rested his hand lightly on her back and whispered, "Didn't think you'd remember that song."

"Of course I would Dean." It was something Dean had sung to Cas whenever Cas had needed a little pick me up, he'd changed the pronouns around of course, but it never failed to have Cas tucked in along Dean's side and sleeping peacefully in no time.

"She'll sleep with us tonight." Dean said quietly, Cas nodded like he expected nothing less and they headed upstairs and settled into bed, Sophie squeezed in between them.

* * *

><p>Inspired by: <em>Wasted Jamie by Steve Carlson<em>

Dean paused in the doorway, watching the activity outside, plate piled high with steaks held in his hands. It had started out as something small and just between Dean, Cas and Sam; somehow, it had grown into a full-blown _something_.

Sam had brought Sarah and Mary, Bobby had shown up and then to top it all off four strangers that Dean had never seen or heard of had popped up on their doorstep. Cas knew them though, apparently, since he'd greeted them with a smile and high fives. Dean now knew them to be a band and Cas had helped them translate some of their songs for them and somehow they'd all kept in touch over the years.

Dean had never imagined Cas would be making friends outside of him and Sam, but he was and it still shocked him how outgoing Cas could be when he wanted to be. How _human_ he could act.

Dean had been a little wary of them like he always was with strangers being introduced to his family, but it was hard to stay that way with them. They were friendly and funny and they had produced a guitar from somewhere and were currently singing songs that fit in perfectly with a backyard barbeque in the middle of summer.

Cas was sitting with Sophie on one of the chairs; Sophie was in his lap giggling at Cas as Cas danced in place to the current song. Bobby said something to Cas that had him throwing his head back and letting out a laugh that echoed across the yard, Dean couldn't help the grin that spread.

He was _happy_, doing these normal things, living a life he never thought he could live. Granted he still did hunt, but he was constantly on the road anymore, he'd settled as much as he was able to. He'd manage to settle with someone who understood though, someone who didn't force him out of the lifestyle he'd been living his entire life, didn't try to get him to quit completely. And Dean was happy, so amazingly happy he still had trouble understanding it sometimes.

"You look happy." Sam said, smiling around his beer as Dean approached the grill to get the steaks cooking.

Dean looked back to Cas who was now holding Mary and Sophie on his lap, his smile bright and infectious as he sang along.

"I am."

"Good. You deserve to be happy Dean." In the past Dean would have scoffed, would have had trouble believing it, but after having Cas and Sophie in his life, after having Cas slamming it into his head that yes, he did deserve good things after everything he'd done and gone through, he could believe it. Could want it.

"As long as your happy too Sam."

"Of course I am. I've got my brother, a wife, a daughter. What more could I ask for?" Dean had a snappy remark on his tongue, but Cas' laugh rang out again and he simply smiled again, that warmth in his chest expanding until Dean was just fit to burst.

* * *

><p>Inspired by: <em>Home <em>and _Everything by Michael Bublé_

Castiel had never hated the weather more.

He was stuck in Chicago of all places, a ridiculous amount of snow had fallen and the airport had pretty much shut down. Castiel was a mere eight hours from home and he couldn't rent a car because there were none to rent, he couldn't take a bus because no buses were running due to the snow, neither were cabs.

So he was stuck in the airport, had been for a day.

He was not pleased.

He'd called Dean to inform him that he wouldn't be home until this mess cleared up, which judging from the weather channel that had been playing on the TV over his head all day, wouldn't be any time soon.

Castiel huffed out a sigh, pulled his coat tighter around his body and shifted in the hard chair until he was semi-comfortable. It was the middle of the night and the airport was quiet around him, everyone had settled wherever they could to sleep since there was nothing they could do.

He shifted again until his butt almost fell off the edge of his seat, legs stretched out in front him, arms cross over his chest, he missed his own bed. Had missed home the entire week he'd been in New York, finally getting around to being the guest speaker at his colleague's classes at one of the colleges there. He'd enjoyed it, enjoyed how he was able to "stretch his brain" as Dean so eloquently put it, but all he wanted now was home. He wanted Dean and he wanted Sophie, his bed and his kitchen and his office.

Castiel sighed, pulled collar of his coat and sweatshirt up around his chin and closed his eyes, he should at least try to sleep while he could, before the noise and chaos of the airport kept him awake.

Castiel didn't know how long it had been, he was stuck in a light doze, aware of the sounds around him but not conscious enough to acknowledge them.

A cool hand resting on his cheek and quiet voice whispering, "Hey, Cas…wake up baby," jolted him awake, there was no way _that_ voice was here in Chicago.

Sure enough though, when Castiel looked up there was Dean, standing over him, smiling in the dim lighting of the baggage claim with snow melting in his hair and clinging to his eyelashes, "Dean?"

"Who else would call you 'baby' when it's the nickname you hate the most?"

Castiel huffed, "Only you of course. What are you doing here?"

"There's no way I'm leaving you stranded in Chicago all by yourself. It was only eight hours away and I missed the hell out of you."

Castiel finally roused himself enough to launch himself out of his chair, he was sore and stiff from being scrunched up in it all day, but Dean was _there_ and he was warm and familiar. Dean chuckled as Castiel wrapped around him, burying his face against Dean's neck, breathing in all the familiar scents that were _Dean_ and _home_.

"There's the greeting I was looking for."

"How did you even get here?" Castiel mumbled, refusing to let go, judging from how Dean was holding on to him he refused to let go as well.

"You think a little bit of snow is going to keep me from you? Although we might both be stuck here now." Castiel sighed and pulled away a little, of course they would be, Dean never really thought things through.

"Don't give me that exasperated sigh. It's all handled. Sophie is with Sam and Sarah, Grace is with Bobby. Sam also booked us a really nice hotel room not too far from here, if we're gonna be trapped here well we're doing it in style."

"We just have to get there." Castiel eyed the weather through the doors, which was beginning to pick up, how Dean gotten the Impala through all of that snow Castiel had no idea.

"We'll get there. It'll be like…the honeymoon we never had. Imagine all the hot, loud hotel sex we can have Cas."

Castiel resisted the urge to roll his eyes and asked instead as Dean picked up his bags, "Is sex all you ever think about?"

"Dude, we haven't been able to be as loud as we want ever since we got Sophie. I'm going to make you _scream_."

"How romantic." Despite his dry tone, Castiel truly was looking forward to it. A week away from Dean and then however many days to themselves in a hotel? He couldn't help the little thrill of anticipation that bloomed low in his belly.

"I can be romantic," Dean tucked Castiel's scarf into his jacket and pushed a hat on over his ears, "There will be loud sex, then we can have room service delivered, some champagne maybe and there's a Jacuzzi tub in the bathroom in our room."

Dean took Castiel's hand in his own and they headed for the exit, he paused before they entered the snowstorm outside, "I love you Cas."

"I know you do."

"I don't say it often enough. But I do, love you. It's kinda scary sometimes."

"I know Dean, I love you too," Castiel smiled up at him, tugged on his hand and headed outside, "Now c'mon, you have to prove you still have it in you to make me scream."

"Oh you just wait and see, I've got it in me."

Castiel had never loved the weather more.


	21. We Dream of Lovely Things

Well, been awhile since I've written anything for my 'verse. Figured it was about time I did so.

Don't worry though, this 'verse is nowhere near close to over with. I've had the idea for this story for awhile, and I have another one planned out and waiting to be typed and then another one in the making thanks to a lovely reader who gave me the idea.

Anyway!

Here's this. It's been awhile, as I've said, so I'm sorry if anything is off about it, I went back and reread a lot of the parts to try and get back in the mood, but I dunno how well that worked lol.

Anyhow! Enjoy hopefully.

The title is from Owl City's _Butterfly Wings_ for those curious.

Also, I know nothing about the foster system and adoption process or anything along those lines, so forgive my mistakes and just go with it. Oh! And, almost forget. I simply googled and pieced together things about the "monster of the week" in this story. I dunno how accurate it is, but it's not very important. Also, the things I talk about with souls is completely made up, a mixture of my own beliefs and what I needed to work for the story, so...just go with it!

Okay, now you may read and enjoy.

* * *

><p>Dean had the strangest urge to roll up a newspaper and smack Cas on the nose with it while saying, "No! Bad Cas!"<p>

He'd probably have to do the same to Sam the way Sam was hovering behind Cas, watching with interest. Cas meanwhile nearly had his nose buried the chest cavity of the latest victim of their werewolf. Dean cleared his throat, shifted on his feet and asked quietly, "Cas, you think you need to be that close?"

Cas' head popped up, the blue of his eyes seeming to be even bluer behind the lenses of his glasses, his eyebrows went up as he turned his attention back down towards the body, "What's wrong with what I'm doing?"

"You've nearly got your nose buried in the dude's chest." Cas blinked down at the body, looked back up at Dean and pushed his glasses up to the top of his head, Dean would never admit it but Cas in his glasses was absolutely adorable.

"It's not a werewolf."

Sam's eyebrows shot up and Dean groaned, of course this case couldn't be simple. Sam stepped forward, peering over Cas' shoulder as he asked, "What do you mean it's not a werewolf?"

And the two nerds began discussing something about claw marks and teeth marks, Dean stood off to the side completely zoned out while he waited for the important stuff to come up.

When it didn't seem that either of them were going to shut up Dean jumped in with, "So if it's not a werewolf what is it?"

"I don't know, I'll have to see some of the other victims." Dean sighed and pulled out his cellphone at Cas' words, at least the detective working on this case was an old friend who knew about the supernatural, he was the one who had called Sam with the case in the first place.

Ten minutes later Cas was wrist deep in another chest and both he and Sam were geeking out while Dean tried to pretend that same hand hadn't given him a spectacular hand job that morning.

"Aufhocker." Cas said suddenly, standing up straight.

"Geshundeit." Cas rolled his eyes, moved to push his glasses up his nose and Dean leapt forward to keep those bloody gloved hands from doing just that, "No! Bad Cas!"

"What? Oh..." He peeled the gloves off, sighed and said, "Aufhocker. They're only supposed to be found in Germany though so I don't know what one is doing here."

"Aren't they like black dogs?" Sam asked.

Cas made a face, waved a hand in the 'maybe-sorta-kinda' gesture, hesitated for a moment, a look of concentration on his face before he said, "They're like a shapeshifting vampiric werewolf. They usually take on the form of large black dogs, but can change their form and size depending on their victim. They'll leap on the back of their chosen prey, usually someone they've followed along the road."

"Great, how do we kill them?" Dean asked, watching as Cas and Sam returned the morgue to how it had been when they'd arrived.

"Silver to the heart, like a werewolf. They need to have locked onto someone though and it needs to happen at dawn."

"So we need to find out why it's been targeting these people and who it might target next?" Sam asked, Cas nodded and Dean sighed out, "Great, so that means research huh?"

Cas nodded and the three headed out of the morgue, Sam was walking ahead of Dean and Cas, nose buried in the files he was carrying. Dean took the opportunity to slow his pace, taking hold of Cas' arm in his to have him match his pace. Cas shot him a confused look but waited patiently for Dean to ask, "How are you holding up Cas?"

Cas rolled his eyes, "You're worrying too much Dean."

"Cas, two weeks ago you were hardly sleeping and you were reliving months of torture whenever you did manage to sleep. Of course I'm going to fucking worry about you."

Cas sighed, patted Dean's hand where it was gripping Cas' elbow and the two came to a stop by the admissions desk. Sam carried on ahead of them, not even realizing they'd stopped.

"I'm fine, Dean. Really. You don't need to…" Cas trailed off, his eyes fixed on something over Dean's left shoulder. Dean had a moment of sheer, blind panic thinking that Cas had slipped into a flashback again. He hadn't had one for almost a month now. When Dean called his name though, Cas frowned, glanced at him and returned his attention to whatever had captured it.

Dean took a deep breath and tried to pull his heart back into his chest, "What's up Cas?"

Cas' brow furrowed as he muttered, "There's something…off."

"'Off'? What do you mean? What's going on Cas?" Dean was instantly on alert, hand twitching towards the gun stashed in his waistband. Cas' "radar" as they called it was never off or wrong. He could pinpoint ghosts and demons without trouble and anything else supernatural pinged his radar as well, so when something was 'off' it meant something was there that wasn't human and may need to be dealt with.

Cas' frown deepened and Dean resisted the urge to shake him and get his answers, it would only serve in pissing Cas off and Dean not getting sex or pie for a week. Instead, Dean looked around the waiting room, trying to figure what it was that Cas was focused on. He could gather it wasn't a demon, since Cas usually tensed up and got his _must smite now_ look on his face. Couldn't have been a ghost since Cas would have said something by now.

Sam appeared, looking a little pissed about being left to his own devices without either of them calling out to him, "Guys? What's going on?"

"Cas is having a moment."

"A moment?" Sam instantly switched to worried mother bear mode and turned his attention on Cas, "Cas you okay? We need to get you out of here? Need us to do anything? Say anything? What can we do?"

Both Dean and Cas rolled their eyes and Dean said, "Not that kind of moment Samantha, chill out."

There was the bitchface. Dean grinned at it, Cas' eyes narrowed to convey his annoyance at the two of them and Dean finally turned around trying to see what it was that was 'off'.

When Cas' head tilted, Dean knew he was doing his soul stare of doom, trying to get a read on someone. Dean didn't know how it worked for Cas, if it was something that was always visible to him or if he could only see when he focused in on it. Dean did know though, that with their immediate family, Cas didn't need to try very hard to see their souls, while with new people he needed a few moments to break through all the barriers and walls people built around themselves.

When he'd learned that from Cas, all the intense staring sessions they'd gone through when they'd first made suddenly made sense. Cas had only been trying to get a read on his soul so he could understand Dean better.

Cas was starting to sport that vaguely constipated look he got when he had issues getting a read on someone. All Dean had to do was find the person that had gripped the ex-angel's attention so thoroughly and see what he could do to possibly help. When people relaxed due to Dean or Sam's charm and reassurances, it allowed Cas better access. Working with Cas on hunts during interviews was always a breeze since he could tell when someone was lying or hiding something.

Made living with him a damn chore though.

Sam nudged Dean and nodded towards a man and boy that were standing by the admissions desk. The man was yelling about something, waving his arms around while the boy stood by quietly, eyes focused on his shoes and arm clutched to his chest. He couldn't have been older than Sophie, maybe a year or two younger than her and it was him that Cas was fixated on. Even Dean could tell something was bit off, but he didn't know what.

Beside him, Cas sucked in a shocked breath and his eyes narrowed in anger while he hissed out, "Son of a _bitch."_

Clearly, Dean had been a bad influence.

"Cas?"

Cas growled something under his breath that sounded vaguely threatening, Dean couldn't be sure since it'd been said in Enochian, but the way Cas started stalking across the waiting room let him know shit was about to go down.

Sam moved before Dean could finish his thought, he grabbed Cas around the waist and hauled him back. But Sam had forgotten that Cas could fight and struggle like a slippery eel mixed with a wildcat and he quickly lost his hold on Cas. Dean managed to snag him next, and he knew Cas better than Sam so he was able to keep him from getting loose despite Cas kicking and pushing and threatening the man on the other side of the waiting room.

Dean spun around, putting the man out of Cas' view and said, "Cas, damnit! Stop it! You're going to blow our cover!" Cas instantly calmed, he slumped back against Dean with a sigh and Dean waited a few seconds before letting him go. Cas sat himself down in a chair while Dean and Sam stood in front of him, a wall between him and whatever had pissed him off.

"Gonna tell us what that was about?" Dean finally asked.

Cas rubbed a hand over his forehead, took a deep breath and muttered, "He's lying about how his son broke his arm. He…damnit Dean that bastard abuses his son! Threw him into a wall and he's saying he fell off a skateboard. That's not even plausible! The force required to break an arm from falling from a skateboard at that height isn't even possible at that child's age!" Dean looked back over his shoulder, the father was still shouting at the admitting nurse and his son was still staring at the floor. Neither had seemed to notice Cas' outburst.

Dean didn't know if it was because of his love for Sophie and Mary, or if it was just how Cas had always been, but Cas had zero tolerance for child abusers. Which was saying something since Cas had an extraordinarily high tolerance for bullshit (he dealt with Dean's everyday anyway), but Dean could understand his anger.

"Okay Cas, we can help with that, you know we can."

Cas sighed and shook his head, "No Dean. That boy's soul is…its _dying_ Dean. It's withering away into nothing."

Sam frowned down at Cas; interest peaked about a topic he knew next to nothing about, "That sort of thing can happen?"

"Yes. His is a new soul; it hasn't had a past life or anything to build on. It hasn't received the love and nurturing it requires to thrive and develop. It's just this…gray, dying _thing_ and all because of that _bastard_." Dean pushed Cas back down when he started to get up again. Cas crossed his arms and let out an annoyed huff but didn't try to move again.

"Does he die if his soul dies?" Sam asked quietly. None of them had asked about the nature of souls, Dean just figured it was something he wouldn't understand and Sam looked like he was kicking himself for not inquiring sooner.

"No. He might as well though. His soul can wither up into nothing and what would be left behind would be a shell. Something that walks and talks but doesn't feel anything. Nothing at all. He would be…just…empty inside. Incomplete."

They were both silent for a moment, absorbing and then Sam asked, "What do you mean 'new soul'?" Dean resisted the urge to roll his eyes, here came the geeking out. They had a case to worry about and the kid to worry about now too, they didn't have time for a lecture on souls.

Cas answered though, "You've heard of people saying that someone is an old soul correct?"

Both Dean and Sam nodded.

"They wouldn't be wrong. Some souls are allowed to return to Earth from Heaven, they live out their life and return to Heaven with the knowledge and experience they gained from their lives. Some souls are reincarnated many times, while others only live the one life and some are the new souls that are created. Like when a baby is born and no soul is available to be placed."

"Huh, I never thought of it like that." Sam muttered and Dean had to admit neither had he.

"New souls need love to be able to grow. They need to be nourished since they don't have past experiences and strength to draw on to sustain themselves until they can find a better situation. New souls, if they don't receive that, just wither up and cease to exist."

"So you're telling me that kid hasn't been loved at all?" Dean asked, gesturing behind him towards the kid who still hadn't moved an inch.

Cas shook his head, eyes sad and worried, "His mother died in childbirth, he has no siblings and no other immediate family outside of his father who is an alcoholic, neglectful and abusive. There is a special place reserved for him in Hell."

"Well good. Look Cas, we'll call Detective Hayes, he owes us a favor anyway, and have him look into it okay? You know beyond that there isn't much we can do."

Cas looked up at Dean then, blue eyes blazing as he said, "No Dean. _We_ need to help him."

Dean sighed, "I'm assuming by 'we need to help him' you mean bring him into our family and take him home with us."

"Yes." It was the same tone of voice Cas had pulled on Dean when they'd rescued Sophie. Sam looked on with an amused expression while Cas stared up at Dean and Dean rubbed his forehead.

"Look Cas, we can't just kidnap him or take him away like we did with Sophie. He'll probably have people looking for him!"

"I know that," Cas grumbled, giving Dean his _I'm not stupid you dolt_ look, "Which is why we have Detective Hayes look into and then when he is taken from his home we are there to be his foster parents and then start the process of adoption. We're still in South Dakota so there shouldn't be a lot of hassle," Cas paused, eyes moving back towards the kid.

"He can't be in the system on his own Dean, he wouldn't survive it. He needs to be with someone who has a basic understanding of souls, he can get all of that love and care he needs with us. We're basically the only ones who can fix him and have him back to being like the child he needs to be."

It was scary sometimes how quick Cas' mind worked and how quickly he could come up with a plan that would leave no room for Dean to argue with unless he wanted to feel like a heartless bastard.

"There's no talking you out of this is there?"

"No. We were planning to adopt again anyway Dean."

"Yeah, in a few _years_ Cas!"

"He doesn't _have_ a few years Dean!" And now Cas was using those big blue eyes of his to tug at Dean's heartstrings, all wide and earnest. Dean sighed and shook his head. He knew when he was beaten.

"Fine. Let's see what we can do. But we also have a case to work on here!"

Cas grinned and shot out of his seat, wrapping around Dean in a suffocating hug, "Thank you Dean."

"Yeah…well…whatever. Can we get back to work now?" Cas grinned again, planted a kiss on Dean's cheek before he bounced around Dean and Sam and headed for the exit. Sam grinned over at Dean, nudged him in the side with his elbow, "You're such a pushover when it comes to Cas."

Dean scowled at his brother and headed towards the exit with a grumbled, "Bite me."

Two hours later found the three of them back in the hotel room. Sam was on the laptop, looking up more information on their monster of the week, and Cas having long since figured out the pattern was sprawled out on his stomach on the bed next to Dean, idly flipping through a book.

Dean was busy enjoying his beer and ogling Cas' ass. From the way Cas kept looking over at Dean, he was fully aware of what Dean was thinking about. It was very hard not to just toss his beer aside and roll over on top of Cas and just _take_. Cas would let him too, which made it even harder to resist that urge. Sam might have some objections though.

"It's almost time." Sam's voice broke through the silence of the hotel room; Dean looked away from the blue of Cas' eyes and glared over at his brother. Those blue eyes had been promising all sorts of good things that Dean was enjoying thinking about.

"Okay. Why don't you call Detective Hayes and have him meet us." Since the thing had to be killed at dawn and none of them were college aged like all the victims they had agreed to sit along the road where the murders were taking place and keep an eye open for the next victim and their monster.

Sam would be with the detective and Cas and Dean would be in the Impala further down the road from them.

Sam eyed the two of them on the bed, phone held in his hand, "If I'm with Detective Hayes will you two be able to pay attention to the case instead of having sex in the car?"

Dean scoffed and glared, prepared to tell his brother he was capable of _some_ control, thank you very much.

It was Cas though, who said, "No promises."

Which led to Dean wondering if maybe there was time for a quickie before they went to the diner to meet up. All he had to do was get Sam out of the room.

Cas closed his book and Dean licked his lips, "Hey Sam, why don't you uh-" he was distracted by the way Cas' legs parted a few inches and how his hips canted up a little.

"Already leaving." Sam grumbled, snapping his laptop shut and grabbing his phone. Dean was already moving, not bothering to wait for his brother to exit the room before he was rolling on top of Cas, plastering himself along Cas' back and grinding down while Cas pushed up.

"_Still_ in the room guys!"

"I'd suggest you leave quickly then, we're not going to wait." Cas mumbled, propping himself up on his elbows, ass raised up in the air for Dean. Sam huffed out a frustrated sigh and the hotel room door slammed shut behind him as he made his exit.

Dean chuckled, pressed a kiss to the back of Cas' neck, "I love you a ridiculous amount right now."

Cas hummed his agreement, "I know Dean. Just hurry up and fuck me, we don't have a lot of time."

Yeah, he loved Cas _a lot_ right then.

* * *

><p>In the morning, after the mud, blood and <em>slime<em> had been washed off they found themselves back in the hospital. Detective Hayes had been more than willing to help them out with the boy they'd come across, claiming he knew the father and would find great pleasure in either putting him away or taking his son from him.

Cas had been pleased to hear it all, they were all still high off the adrenaline of a hunt well done, no major injuries and a life saved.

Which was how Dean found himself following Cas up and down hallways, peeking into rooms looking for the boy while Sam and the detective searched for the father.

"He's in here." Cas muttered finally, hand on the handle. Dean nodded and Cas opened the door, slowly stepping inside. The boy straightened up in the bed, warily watching the two of them as Cas slowly approached the bed.

Cas knelt by the bed while Dean stood guard by the door, keeping an eye out for the dad. Dean watched from the corner of his eye as Cas knelt there, smiling gently at the kid as he said, "Hello."

The kid simply stared at him, all wide brown eyes and floppy blonde hair that reminded Dean a lot of Sam when he had been that age.

"I'm not here to hurt you," Cas said gently, still smiling, his blue eyes so kind and caring, Dean couldn't remember a time Cas had looked at someone like that.

"What's your name?" The boy blinked, chewed on his lip and glanced around the room, like he was expecting his father to pop out of the closet and yell at him.

"It's okay; you don't have to be afraid of me." Dean knew Cas already knew the kids name, he'd done his little soul stare of doom and had gathered it that way, Dean figured he was just trying to get the kids trust. He didn't know why he was leaving Cas to do this, Dean worked just as well with kids, managed to get himself down on their level and into their minds and gather their trust with just a few words and a kind smile. Apparently, though, this was something Cas needed to do, something he felt he could do. There was also the fact he could see the kids soul and it that worried him, filled him with that same urge that had overcome him when it had been Sophie he'd been worried about.

Finally, "Matthew."

Cas smiled again, "Matthew. That's a good, strong name. It's from the Bible, did you know that?"

Matthew shook his head, his fear slowly turning into a fascination with what Cas was saying to him.

"I have a name from the Bible too." Cas said simply, moving from his crouch on the floor to sit on the bed beside Matthew. Matthew's eyes followed him, and he shifted on the bed a little to make more room for Cas. Dean bit back a smile and tried to keep his attention on the doorway and hallway beyond, the last thing they needed was an angry father plowing in.

Matthew hesitated, fidgeted a little and quietly asked, "What is it?"

"Castiel. Do you know who that is?" Matthew shook his head again, eyes still wide and burning with curiosity.

Cas hummed, "Well, the name isn't mentioned specifically in the Bible, but it is the name of an angel."

"Really?"

Cas nodded, "He was the angel of Thursdays." Dean bit back another smile as it slowly dawned on him, today, of all days was a Thursday. Cas may not have been an angel anymore, but he either still fulfilled some of his older duties or it was just something that happened subconsciously, coming to the aid of people that needed it on his day.

"Today is a Thursday." Matthew whispered. Cas grinned, all dimples in his cheeks and crinkling around his eyes, it was the kind of smile that you couldn't help but smile back at, much like Matthew was in that moment.

"Really? Well, it must be your lucky Thursday then Matthew, for me to come along. Don't you think?" Matthew nodded and scooted closer to Cas, he didn't seem to be aware of it, suddenly too excited with the childish thought of this being an actual angel. Dean couldn't blame him; Cas did look like an angel, sitting there on the edge of the bed, his bright, infectious smile and white shirt and light colored jeans.

Cas _was_ an angel, he may not be technically anymore, but there was always a small part hidden deep down inside that was still that bright, holy thing. That Warrior of God that had been so untouchable and amazing, he was still there. Just buried deep down underneath Cas' humanity, underneath all that love, stubbornness and intelligence, it was there.

Cas was silent for a moment, then he said quietly, "As I said, my name is Castiel, behind me is Dean. We live together a few hours from this town with our daughter Sophie, she's about your age, few years older I think."

Matthew was silent, but his eyes flicked over to Dean briefly before they returned to Cas who was leaning back a little, not crowding Matthew in.

"We want to take you away from here Matthew, away from your father," There was a brief flash of fear across Matthew's eyes and Cas held up a hand, "Only if you want to. We won't do anything you don't want to do. But I know what you've been through Matthew; I know you're not happy here. We want you to be happy, want you to be safe and you can have that with us."

Matthew was silent, eyes focused on Cas who was sitting patiently on the edge of the bed, small smile in place.

Finally, Matthew asked quietly, "What about my dad?"

"He won't find you. If you wish it, you'll never have to see him again and he won't come after you."

They were all silent again; Matthew nodded after a few minutes and whispered, "Okay."

Cas smiled, slowly reached forward to brush the bangs from Matthew's eyes and whispered his own, "Okay."

Cas nodded, smiled again and stood. He made Matthew lay back down in the bed, fluffed the pillow around his head and tucked the blanket in around his body before leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss to his temple, "Get some rest Matthew. We'll be back to get you when the doctors let you go for the day."

Matthew nodded and closed his eyes, Cas watched for a moment before turning around and heading back for Dean. When they let themselves out of the room Cas paused in the hallway, eyes closed and fists clenched against his side.

"Cas?"

Cas let out a shaky breath, leaned against Dean's sighed and whispered, "He's so very damaged Dean."

Dean rubbed Cas' shoulder, kissed his cheek, "He'll be okay with us."

"In time. A lot of time." Dean nodded and pulled his phone from his pocket when it buzzed with a text from Sam.

"They found the dad, let's go."

* * *

><p>There was a lot of paperwork involved. A lot of talking and interviewing and questioning and even more paperwork. By the time they finally had Matthew and his few possessions packed away in the Impala and were on their way home the sun was beginning to set. Matthew and Cas were in the backseat, Cas telling Matthew about their family while Dean and Sam talked in the front seat.<p>

Plans were made to have Cas' office moved down into the guestroom, Sophie would stay in her current room, since she'd downright refused more space when offered and Matthew would get the office for himself. It would take a bit to get everything together and redone, and until then Matthew would sleep down in the guestroom if he wanted.

Sophie, when Dean had talked to her on the phone while waiting for paperwork to go through, had been ecstatic that they were bringing her a brother home. She wanted nothing more than to play with him and introduce him to everything and everyone. She'd settled a little though when Dean had warned her he might be a bit shy and she should calm herself or she might scare him.

Dean half listened to what was being said in the back when he and Sam finished discussing plans on the room changes. Cas was telling Matthew about Grace and Socks and how he worked from home and would be able to keep Matthew company during the day if he so wanted.

A few miles later and Cas started humming quietly, Dean glanced in the rearview mirror to see Matthew's pain medication had kicked in and he was curled up on the backseat, head in Cas' lap. Cas ran his fingers through the blonde hair and continued humming until Matthew was sleeping soundly.

"We'll be home in a few hours Cas." Dean said, not loud enough to wake Matthew, but loud enough for Cas to hear him. Cas simply nodded and turned his attention out the window, fingers never stopping their movement through Matthew's hair.

True to word, two hours later they were pulling up into the driveway, Bobby and Sarah were there with Sophie and Grace. Matthew roused himself enough to climb out of the car and promptly remained hidden behind Cas until Sophie came bouncing over to greet Cas. Dean was surprised she was even conscious at this time of night, although she was probably wide-awake due to her excitement of them being home finally.

Sophie looked at Matthew, grinned and proudly stated, "I'm Sophie! I'm going to be your big sister from now on. Don't worry, I'll take good care of you, I promise!"

Dean and Sam grinned at each other while Cas chuckled, ruffled her hair and turned to thank Bobby for watching her. Sophie inched around Cas until she was standing next to Matthew, she grinned at him and he stared at her with wide eyes. Finally, she held out her hand and said, "C'mon! I'll show you what's gonna be your room! It's Papa's office right now, and it's kinda messy but we're gonna make it look awesome for you! I'll show you my room too!"

Matthew hesitated before taking her hand and Sophie promptly dragged him inside exclaiming, "I'll show you the kitchen too! It's one of my favorite rooms since Papa is a real good cook! You know Cas is Papa right? Dean is Daddy…don't you forget it now!"

They disappeared into the house and Dean chuckled, Cas was shaking his head with a small smile tugging on his lips, he turned to Dean and said, "Sophie will be good for him."

"Yeah, he's gonna have his hands full with her." Cas nodded and they said good-night to Bobby, Sam and Sarah, waved them off and headed inside where they could hear Sophie upstairs, explaining the rule of touching Cas' books in the office.

"Go upstairs and rescue the poor kid, I'll bring everything up." Dean muttered, nudging Cas with his elbow. Cas nodded and trudged up the stairs with Grace trailing after him.

By the time Dean got upstairs, everything was quiet and Dean wondered if Cas had managed to get the two kids into bed and passed out in the time it'd taken Dean to check the locks and salt lines and bring their bags up the stairs. When Dean approached Sophie's room though he heard the low rumble of Cas' voice and Sophie whispering, "Listen close Matt, this is my favorite part!"

Dean knew then that Cas was reading his and Sophie's favorite book _Where the Wild Things Are_, and the "favorite" part was where sometimes Cas would toss the book aside and tickle Sophie until she cried and begged to be released. Dean let himself into the room, taking in the sight of Cas squished between Sophie and Matthew on Sophie's small bed, Grace curled up at their feet. Matthew was looking at the book with wide eyes and Dean knew he was listening intently.

When Cas read a book to Sophie for the night he got into it, sometimes waving his arms around and raising his voice to match a characters or sometimes being quiet and soothing when the text called for it. Dean settled on the floor, threw an arm over Cas' legs and settled his head on the bed to listen to the rest of the story.

"And the wild things roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws," Cas read, sneaking one hand around to poke and prod at Sophie's side. She giggled and squirmed in place and stilled when Cas carried on reading. Matthew continued listening intently, until the end when his eyes started drifting shut and finally his head thudded down onto Cas' chest.

Dean figured it was the kids first time having a story read to him for bedtime and Dean vowed it wouldn't be the last, not if he had anything to say about it.

When Cas shut the book Dean stood and gently scooped Matthew up off the bed and thought about where he would sleep tonight, Cas solved it by standing up and saying, "He'll sleep with us tonight, Dean."

"Yeah, I figured as much," Dean muttered with a nod, Cas smiled and leaned down to tuck Sophie into bed, "Night sweetheart."

"Night Daddy! Night Papa!" They let themselves out of her room, leaving the door open a crack and headed for their own room. Grace promptly collapsed into her bed in the corner with a sigh, like she was the one who'd had the hardest day of them all. Cas pulled down the blankets on their bed and Dean settled Matthew into the middle while he and Cas went around changing and brushing their teeth.

When they were finally settled in bed Cas sighed and rested his hand on Matthew's chest, hand resting over his heart and where Dean imagined his soul resided, "He's at peace for now. But it's not going to last."

"I know Cas," Dean rested his hand over Cas', squeezing gently, "We can handle it though. Kid deserves the chance."

Cas nodded and closed his eyes, fingers wrapping around Dean's and squeezing lightly.

Dean smiled and watched over them both for the night.


End file.
